AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

1 1/2 stone? People who you don't have regular contact with? Get over yourself. How on Earth do you expect them to notice? Do you think the only thing in their lives is monitoring the ounces that you gain or lose between the months that they see you? LOL.

Honestly, you sound needy and high maintenance. Why do you need them to comment?

I wouldn't have commented because I'd have assumed you'd crash dieted or been ill to lose that much weight in eight weeks.

Healthy weight loss should only be 1-2 lbs a week so I'd plan on losing no more than 10lbs in that amount of time. I guess mathematically June to now is actually getting on for 10 weeks and if you lost 20lbs then it's actually just about what it should be. However, I know that every lb I try to lose under 11st is much more likely to be in the 1lb every fortnight category...

So people are probably going to assume you'll put it all back on and haven't said anything!

You sound very fixated, OP. They either didn’t notice or didn’t feel it was appropriate to comment. If you really don’t need validation then just forget it and move on.

Less than two stone really mightn’t be that noticeable!?

So what proportion of your bodyweight is this 10kg? Is it particularly noticeable? Did you change your clothing since the majority last saw you, ie were you wearing summer v winter or vice versa? Are you known to be conscious about your weight, talk about it a lot, spending a lot of effort to diet and people know it? It's all cagey stuff, have you been known to be receptive to compliments/comments? Has this happened before and you then gain the weight back? How would you feel if someone said you've got a bit curvier?

I’ve lost 4.5 stone after a heart attack.

Family party ‘we were warned about your appearance’
Last family party I’ll go to, rude cunts

Commenting on peoples weight is taboo these days. They may well have noticed but didn't want to say anything. You've done great and should be proud of yourself. I wouldn't worry too much if people didn't comment.

THIS !
Also , I think it implies that someone didn’t look great before !

Someone at work lost 3 stone - A colleague mentioned it
I didn’t notice because she is still so big !

And if the weight goed back on? Awkward as then youd think they didnt like how you looked before.

Maybe the think you looked better bigger? Maybe they dont care. Honestly you need to not care about this.

Yes but it still seems rude. I wouldn’t comment on someone if they were overweight, underweight or normal BMI. It feels judgy to do so and none of my business. I’m glad society has moved on from these sort of comments being ok to make. Certainly there was a whole generation above mine (I’m in my 50s) obsessed with their weight and it was bad enough for my gen.

But do you want them to comment if the weight goes back on? Did you want them to comment a couple of months ago before you lost the weight?

I understand that it’s a big difference for you. I’ve spent most of my adult life around 8st and I’m currently nearly 9st. I’ve slowly gained this stone over the last 18 months. I hate it and feel ‘too big’ for me. I’m working hard to gradually lose it (it will take me much longer than you!). I would really hate for someone to comment on this stone I’ve gained. Equally, I will not want someone commenting when I get back to 8st, as it feels like it’s acknowledging this gain. Not sure if that makes sense?

I think that if you want to discuss your weight loss with someone, you need to start the conversation. It’s really unfair for us to expect other people to read our minds to know if we are wanting comments or not.

As I said before, well done! I’m amazed you’ve lost so much so quickly. I’m the same height as you, and based on my current rate, I’m expecting it to take me at least 6 months (maybe a year) to lose this stone that I’ve gradually gained over the last 18 months.

I would never comment. It seems rude. The person might be ill or stressed. Then what do you say if the weight goes back on? It’s a minefield.

They probably were afraid to hurt your feelings by saying you had lost weight and thus implying you were "fat" before 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone else losing that much that fast, he’s pretty much kept it off for the past 11 years, up and down a bit but highest he’s gone back to was 13, think he’s maybe 11.5 now. You’re absolutely right with the huge drops in the first weeks, I’m always the same myself and totally agree, keeping it off is the hardest part.

Yes but going from a size 12 to 8 isnt something that is an obvious healthy thing and would be weird and rude to comment on. It’s personal preference for you.

To be honest I found that I became much happier when I committed to entering into conversations about weight as little as possible - there’s something so depressing about a group of (usually) women sitting around talking about how they’re going to start their diet tomorrow/they’ve been so naughty this week/they need to get beach-body ready. There are so many more interesting things to talk about!

This is so true.

People are too scared to comment, I read so many comments people offended anyone has commented on their weight good or bad.

Many people would consider it rude to comment on someone’s weight and body

they may have noticed but just not felt it was acceptable to comment
I certainly wouldn’t

No, I appreciate that.

But, as has been said multiple times now - nobody else recognised you were overweight.

You knew your BMI, but we don’t wear them like a badge. A doctor looked at me earlier this year and guessed it was over 40. Guessed. Because the fatness is the BMI badge. You didn’t have one.

Your preference for your own body doesn’t live in anyone else’s headspace, so they probably had no idea you had weight to lose.

Some people do congratulate weight loss. I had a few colleagues mention it when I last saw them. At that point I’d lost just over a stone.. of almost 18.

When your body becomes publicly known to be overweight, people do notice it. But that fortunately isn’t you.

That doesn’t make your effort less, or make it matter less to you. But in a fat aware world, you’re not going to register in the same way as other (bigger) people. Which is actually a good thing.

Overweight for you but not fat enough for everyone else. I’d be grateful for that if I was you.

Just a word to the wise, there is nothing more tedious to actual fat people than the organically slim complaining that you can just see they’ve eaten a meal.

There is nothing “bloated” about being 18stone, or being actually obese.

Being just into the overweight category may well be your limit, and that’s reasonable - we’re all different and know our own bodies and preferences best.

But honestly, in the grand scheme of fatness, “bloated” and “just overweight” doesn’t even register.