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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who believe in ghosts

294 replies

Sheandhercat · 29/07/2026 09:27

MIL came back from a trip to Edinburgh and told us of a “really spooky” thing that happened that MUST have been a ghost because there’s no other explanation. She was walking in a field, no other people around, and she got a whiff of strong rose perfume. That’s it. She said that plus another occasion where her cat was looking at something on the wall when there wasn’t anything there have her convinced that ghosts are real.

I try not to engage in these conversations with my opinion really because people can believe in whatever they want to and it’s pointless getting into a debate about it, because if someone’s already made up their mind it’s hard to convince them otherwise. But she asked me if I’d ever had anything happen and I said no I don’t believe in ghosts. This lead to a conversation where she just kept saying “well go on then, give me one possible explanation for the perfume if it’s not a ghost!” And I was giving explanations that she just wouldn’t accept. How does someone think it’s impossible that someone was around wearing perfume and the wind was just wafting the smell over, but it’s perfectly plausible and OBVIOUS that perfume has transcended into the afterlife and a ghost is the only possible option?!

even if there was no possible explanation I could think of, I still wouldn’t jump to “it must be a ghost” I’d just accept that I don’t know the answer. I don’t understand why it HAS to be a ghost when it just makes no sense. I’m just curious, how many people actually believe in ghosts and why?

OP posts:
Rhaidimiddim · 31/07/2026 15:36

pag3turn3r · 31/07/2026 15:21

All these cctv cameras and smartphones around and not one bona fide ghost captured.

Define " bona fide".

I suspect "bona fide" means something you are prepared to agree is a real image capture.

Which means none of them since, by the circular logic of the ghosts-don't-exist absolutists - " that image can't be a bona fide image of a ghost cos ghosts don't exist".

HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:35

HenLen · 30/07/2026 03:03

Indeed.

People who would love to believe that anything outwith their understanding can be understood and dismissed by our limited brains, bodies and senses come across as genuinely quite thoughtless. And often, frankly, a bit thick.

There are plenty of reasons why we don't question every single atom of the fabric of the universe, generally. We know we can't fly, as anyone who's attempted to walk out of a window instead of a door could testify, if they survived the attempt. It isn't practical to debate every nuance of our material existence, we just accept our own physical limitations for example, because to do otherwise is to risk harming ourselves and others.

But to attempt to shut down any debate about the unknowable nature of the supernatural and unseen is about self comfort, not being practical.

I don't bother engaging with them because their beliefs are set in stone and they can't be budged.

It's actually so simple to just say (and truly mean) "I don't know if ghosts exist" "I don't know if there's than that which we can experience with our limited vision and senses" and it's fine to add "And I have no real interest in the discussiont hanks". But OP instead wants to be patted on her back for refusing that logical, fair and uncontroversial stance.

Unless someone's charging you 50 quid to run a seance or otherwise interfering in your safety or day to day life the fair, reasonable and logical thing to do is just accept that the universe is vast, our knowledge is tiny and truly accept that the words "I don't know" are the only rational ones relating to the supernatural.

There is a huge amount of anecdotal evidence, all throughout history, that there are more things in heaven and earth than dreamt of in our philosophy, to paraphrase the Bard.

Anecdotal evidence, by the way, is exactly and precisely how all knowledge was passed down to us until very recently. Without the acceptance of it we'd have no history at all, and prior to the written word, we'd have had to re-learn how to invent the wheel, quite literally, each new generation.

People telling people their experiences has always counted as evidence. And, like all evidence, it can be weighed against their character and other factors and either accepted or dismissed.

But according to the "We just call a spade a spade" bumpkins, we know everything there is to know about the supernatural, right here and right now, and that's that.

Some people prefer the shelter of their limited knowledge of the universe. They're the ones who'd have calling the earth flat and shaking their heads sadly and laughing at all the round earthers a few hundred years ago.

As for me, I prefer the thoughtful, intelligent stance. When it comes to ghosts I know what I think, but really "I don't know".

This bears repeating. And, just to say, for people who are so sure they're right, there are some very triggered responses on this thread :) (PS didn't mean to quote myself, was just trying to copy it, sorry).

As I said early in the thread - people who would love to believe that anything outwith their understanding can be understood and dismissed by our limited brains, bodies and senses come across as genuinely quite thoughtless. And often, frankly, a bit thick.

There are plenty of reasons why we don't question every single atom of the fabric of the universe, generally. We know we can't fly, as anyone who's attempted to walk out of a window instead of a door could testify, if they survived the attempt. It isn't practical to debate every nuance of our material existence, we just accept our own physical limitations for example, because to do otherwise is to risk harming ourselves and others.

But to attempt to shut down any debate about the unknowable nature of the supernatural and unseen is about self comfort, not being practical.

I don't bother engaging with them because their beliefs are set in stone and they can't be budged.

It's actually so simple to just say (and truly mean) "I don't know if ghosts exist" "I don't know if there's more than that which we can experience with our limited vision and senses" and it's fine to add "And I have no real interest in the discussion thanks". But that's not enough, some just are not happy unless they can shut up everyone else on the subject.

It's truly odd.

Unless someone's charging you 50 quid to run a seance or otherwise interfering in your safety or day to day life the fair, reasonable and logical thing to do is just accept that the universe is vast, our knowledge is tiny and truly accept that the words "I don't know" are the only rational ones relating to the supernatural.

There is a huge amount of anecdotal evidence, all throughout history, that there are more things in heaven and earth than dreamt of in our philosophy, to paraphrase the Bard.

Anecdotal evidence, by the way, is exactly and precisely how all knowledge was passed down to us until very recently. Without the acceptance of it we'd have no history at all, and prior to the written word, we'd have had to re-learn how to invent the wheel, quite literally, each new generation.

People telling people their experiences has always counted as evidence. And, like all evidence, it can be weighed against their character and other factors and either accepted or dismissed.

But according to the "We just call a spade a spade" bumpkins, we know everything there is to know about the supernatural, right here and right now, and that's that.

Some people prefer the shelter of their limited knowledge of the universe.

They're the ones who'd have been calling the earth flat and shaking their heads sadly and laughing at all the round earthers a few hundred years ago.

As for me, I prefer the thoughtful, intelligent and logical stance.

When it comes to ghosts I know what I think, but really "I don't know".

yetnothername · 31/07/2026 15:34

Not ghostly but I've had strange experiences.

As a child aged around 8/9, I was ready to run across a road as soon as a car on my left passed. I was alone but heard someone telling me not to cross. I was baffled but stayed on the pavement and a car immediately passed infront of me travelling from my right.

On another occasion a friend I hadn't thought of for quite some time suddenly popped into my head. Turning a corner there they were.

HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:30

pag3turn3r · 31/07/2026 15:25

Go on then. Point me to a video clearly showing a ghost.
One that's been scientifically verified.

Lol. Try typing in "paranormal videos that prove ghosts are real" - and then you can watch weeks worth of videos and decide in advance they're all crap anyway, because your mind is completely closed and no matter what the evidence you'd decide that wasn't "scientific" enough for you 😅

It's fine you need to be hard line anti- supernatural. I don't mind.

HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:27

InterestedDad37 · 31/07/2026 15:24

Can you point me to some please? I'm Team Sceptic, but remain open-minded.

There are many thousands of sites online where you can view paranormal recordings. Try typing in "paranormal videos that prove ghosts are real" You can spend weeks watching them and still not be finished, and decide for yourself if you want to dismiss them all.

pag3turn3r · 31/07/2026 15:27

it's all very convenient that ghosts never show up for cynical scientists isn't it?

pag3turn3r · 31/07/2026 15:25

HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:22

I've watched loads of videos where the supernatural seems clearly to be involved.It is impossible, of course, to tell if you are not an expert on camera techniques, and now AI etc.

But to state there are no bona fide recordings captured is absolutely unprovable and many could point you to videos that seem to show otherwise.

Go on then. Point me to a video clearly showing a ghost.
One that's been scientifically verified.

InterestedDad37 · 31/07/2026 15:24

HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:22

I've watched loads of videos where the supernatural seems clearly to be involved.It is impossible, of course, to tell if you are not an expert on camera techniques, and now AI etc.

But to state there are no bona fide recordings captured is absolutely unprovable and many could point you to videos that seem to show otherwise.

Can you point me to some please? I'm Team Sceptic, but remain open-minded.

TheVividLilacOP · 31/07/2026 15:24

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HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:22

pag3turn3r · 31/07/2026 15:21

All these cctv cameras and smartphones around and not one bona fide ghost captured.

I've watched loads of videos where the supernatural seems clearly to be involved.It is impossible, of course, to tell if you are not an expert on camera techniques, and now AI etc.

But to state there are no bona fide recordings captured is absolutely unprovable and many could point you to videos that seem to show otherwise.

pag3turn3r · 31/07/2026 15:21

All these cctv cameras and smartphones around and not one bona fide ghost captured.

HenLen · 31/07/2026 15:18

Culpeper · 31/07/2026 15:15

But claims are not the same as evidence.

Fear, limited scientific knowledge, cultural expectations, and cognitive biases all likely contributed to many historical beliefs in the supernatural. If you were raised in a family or culture that believes in ghosts, you’re also more likely to interpret unusual experiences as paranormal.

‘My granny swore blind she saw her dead mother at the end of her bed’ doesn’t cut it.

There is no evidence that ghosts exist and there never will be, because they don’t.

Already completely covered by one of my previous comments on anecdotal evidence.

And, again, only one single claim has to be real. Out of many millions.

Feel free to be a hard line disbeliever, it make no logical sense at all - but that's fine. I don't need you to agree with me, and I don't feel anything about you disagreeing with me.

Culpeper · 31/07/2026 15:15

HenLen · 31/07/2026 14:32

Not to mention hundreds and hundreds of years gone by where people made similar claims.

It only takes one person out of all the actual millions of people worldwide who have claimed to have experienced the supernatural - just one single person out of millions to have been right - to prove that the supernatural, ghosts etc are valid experiences.

But you'd have to dismiss hundreds of millions of people making the same claim over the last two hundred years alone to make the statement "Ghosts aren't real" a true one.

Edited

But claims are not the same as evidence.

Fear, limited scientific knowledge, cultural expectations, and cognitive biases all likely contributed to many historical beliefs in the supernatural. If you were raised in a family or culture that believes in ghosts, you’re also more likely to interpret unusual experiences as paranormal.

‘My granny swore blind she saw her dead mother at the end of her bed’ doesn’t cut it.

There is no evidence that ghosts exist and there never will be, because they don’t.

HenLen · 31/07/2026 14:32

auntiemaryhadaredcanary · 31/07/2026 11:55

Ditto.

I refuse to believe that they are all mentally ill, drunk, need a visit to Specsavers, under the influence of drugs or deluded !

Not to mention hundreds and hundreds of years gone by where people made similar claims.

It only takes one person out of all the actual millions of people worldwide who have claimed to have experienced the supernatural - just one single person out of millions to have been right - to prove that the supernatural, ghosts etc are valid experiences.

But you'd have to dismiss hundreds of millions of people making the same claim over the last two hundred years alone to make the statement "Ghosts aren't real" a true one.

auntiemaryhadaredcanary · 31/07/2026 11:55

SkyLark79 · 31/07/2026 07:06

I’ve never seen anything but there have been far too many instances among family/friends to even begin to write down…

Ditto.

I refuse to believe that they are all mentally ill, drunk, need a visit to Specsavers, under the influence of drugs or deluded !

MrsShawnHatosy · 31/07/2026 11:46

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 29/07/2026 12:47

Haha, so do I!

Although I do feel like he seems to be turning a bit to the "Woo" side in some of the recent episodes of Uncanny! He seems to be actively pointing out stuff he can't think of explanations for

Tbh I feel the whole programme has strayed a bit too far over to the credulous side!

LilacReader · 31/07/2026 11:42

My 'ghost' event happened over 25 years ago and I still question what actually caused the occurence. I was going out with a guy who lived in a light and airy basement flat but I always felt like it didn't want me there - just uncomfortable in a sense.
Anyway, I was staying in the flat one night alone and had gone to bed. Either side of the bed was wardrobes and the one next to me had a wire hanger hanging from the handle. When I closed my eyes I could hear it tapping and when I opened my eyes it stopped. I tried opening them for a long time - nothing - then closing and 'tap'. Tried closing for a long time, 'tap' 'tap' 'tap'. No matter what I tried, it only happened when my eyes were closed. Freaked me out a little so I took my quilt onto the sofa and put the TV on. Would love to know what was really happening.

auntiemaryhadaredcanary · 31/07/2026 07:12

user67392097643 · 29/07/2026 12:08

No idea about your spoons! But sound is an odd one - a local pub has made a big room into a restaurant. Ceilings are high, it’s a long/thin-ish space. You really struggle to hear what the people you are sat with are saying, but you can hear perfectly what the group at the other end of the room are saying - its a fun night out for a nosey person😂

A bit like the "Whispering Gallery" at St.Paul's -

https://londonist.com/2016/05/how-does-the-whispering-gallery-at-st-paul-s-actually-work

SkyLark79 · 31/07/2026 07:06

I’ve never seen anything but there have been far too many instances among family/friends to even begin to write down…

Metalmotha · 31/07/2026 06:11

I have seen a ghost (on several occasions) so has my family (inc the same ghost as me both unaware of each others experiences).

yes most experiences prob can be explained away, but those explanations are often just other explanations that carrry no more or less weight, people just think they do because they reflect their view of the world.

People should be respectful of others beliefs and experiences

ParkParade · 31/07/2026 05:12

I think for me I haven’t experienced anything unexplainable but I wouldn’t debate with someone who did if that’s what they like to think, don’t mind. I like my mum’s advice though and will pass it to my DC, ‘Don’t worry about ghosts it’s people you need to be scared of’ - so many awful true crime cases not at the hands of ghosts.

HenLen · 31/07/2026 02:26

smallglassbottle · 30/07/2026 23:38

This ^

An experiment conducted in the uk can influence the same experiment, done at the same time, in Australia.

Animals who have learned a particular skill in one part of the world can influence the same species in another part of the world so both sets of animals then share the same behaviour.

Potted plants demonstrate a particular surge in electrical output when their owner is within a certain distance from home.

All proven quantum entanglement experiments.

Yep, when you get down to the quantum level, the laws of physics as we know them no longer apply. It's actually genuinely disturbing, and something I try not to think about too much 😅

maxslice · 31/07/2026 02:16

keepswimming38 · 30/07/2026 19:52

Quantum entanglement is the most woo theory you will ever read and yet it’s supported by science. I think some people are too inflexible in their thoughts.

“Spooky action at a distance!”

Random321 · 31/07/2026 02:04

Absolutely not. I think people who do are with dim, grieving heavily or mentally ill.

HenLen · 31/07/2026 01:24

Sheandhercat · 30/07/2026 18:26

But this is actually my point really. No one can possibly know for certain. Thats why I don’t understand how people are CONVINCED that what they experienced was a ghost. I also have experienced things that I can’t explain. I believe that there probably is more out there that we don’t know. But I would rather admit that I don’t know. I’d rather say “yes that’s creepy and weird and I can’t explain it, I don’t know what the answer is” rather than “my brain can’t come up with an answer right now, therefore this is proof that ghosts exist”

However, you didn't "admit you don't know" in the conversation you led with in your first post. You said "because if someone’s already made up their mind it’s hard to convince them otherwise...and I said no I don’t believe in ghosts."

Your premise is that people instantly jump to supernatural conclusions and won't listen to any rational explanation. The reality is that most of do not jump to supernatural conclusions, and if someone is absolutely convinced of a supernatural event - why do you care so much that you want to argue with them? Why do you assume they don't know what they experienced, when you were not there?

You are certainly within your rights to dismiss their explanation, but I've never known anyone to dogmatically demand that others believe in ghosts - I do see a lot of supernatural belief bashing on this site though.

Someone told you they had a supernatural experience, you dismissed it out of hand, basically calling them either a liar or stupid, and you wondered why they continued to argue with you. They might be right, they might be delusional - but they're not hurting you with their belief, so maybe just let it go.