Unsolicited wedding opinions

33 replies

Hairy09 · 29/07/2026 08:10

Has anyone else found that once you've announced your wedding, some people seem to have a very strong and unwanted opinion about how xyz should be done?
A friend in our circle is like this, we've had comments to our face and behind our back about how we've chosen this and that. Comments about our venue "but how are they going to do this???' 'Why haven't they got that???'

Pressuring us "you need to pay for XYZ 12 months in advance" 'you need to start booking this' Are you going to pay it for us?
We've just been repeating 'we're fine thanks/we've got it sorted'. It's overbearing and intrusive, weddings are whatever you make them, you could get married in a pair of jeans with 2 people, or you can spend 4 years planning it and spend 50 grand, the choice is yours.

Some people seem to think there is a wedding 'template' where you absolutely must do abc because 'that's what people do'. We've got no interest in all the traditions and just want to do what suits us. Anyone else had this or got advice?

OP posts:

Naurrr · 29/07/2026 09:24

I wish we had no guests at all.
Don't tell people anything, even if you're excited and want to talk about it, do that with your fiancé.

For anyone else keep it vague and bland 'hm, not sure yet/ok/I'll keep it in mind/mm, maybe/I don't know' and utterly disregard anyone's opinion.
(You're already telling them 'we're fine thanks' which is the perfect answer!)

NotOnYourEllie · 29/07/2026 09:23

How rude of them! You absolutely do not need the traditional wedding stuff. So much of it is wasteful imo. Wedding favours generally go in the bin eventually, (with some exceptions, eg food and maybe homemade personalised things). I love a simple wedding which is just about the couple and their loved ones

IHateSpring · 29/07/2026 09:20

YANBU. When we told everyone we weren’t going to have a cake everyone was up in arm. Literally everyone we told.

We’ve been married 14 years now and sometimes turn to each other and say ‘I’m so pleased we didn’t have a cake at our wedding’ 😂

Loulou4022 · 29/07/2026 09:18

Luckily we didn’t have any of this! We’re both quite headstrong so if anyone had suggested anything we’d have nodded politely and still done our own thing anyway!! Our wedding was exactly what we wanted and looking back I wouldn’t change a thing! (except I had to invite my crazy aunt I still wouldn’t change it though as she is still a close relative)
DH and I have a saying “smile and wave, smile and wave” when people are talking shite you don’t want to hear!

Cuppachuchu · 29/07/2026 08:28

I think some people are well meaning, trying to give you the benefit of their experience, I suppose. But yes, it does get wearing.
Sometimes it's not until later you realise you could have made a better choice. But that's the thing. They are all your choices. Have a lovely wedding, your way. 👰‍♀🤵‍♂️

Original poster

Hairy09 · 29/07/2026 08:15

gabsbrby · 29/07/2026 08:14

I was told repeatedly by a family member to do things my way as it’s my wedding…..until what I did didn’t suit them….

That sounds very familiar...

OP posts:

Topjoe19 · 29/07/2026 08:15

Looking back, I wish I'd just eloped! Should've spent the money getting married on a beach in Hawaii.

gabsbrby · 29/07/2026 08:14

I was told repeatedly by a family member to do things my way as it’s my wedding…..until what I did didn’t suit them….

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