Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to think SAHMs are lazy?

439 replies

Fluffyscrubberdo · 29/07/2026 07:18

As a stay at home mum how often do you get this judgement online vs real life?
It seems no one really says it in real life but there seems to be so much vitriol on here that there must be a fair amount of people who think it.
Has anyone made a rude comment to you in person?
Or are you a person who think sahm’s are lazy?

AIBU to think sometimes a sahm is in a family’s best interest?

OP posts:
Sartre · 29/07/2026 07:27

Not lazy but I do feel sorry for them a bit. They don’t seem to have an identity outside of their home and children so all conversations revolve around that. They’re also very on top at school because that becomes a central focus on their lives I guess.

Betadelta · 29/07/2026 07:26

When I was a SAHM with three DC under 4 I would definitely not have described myself as lazy.

MasterGland · 29/07/2026 07:26

🍿 come on now everyone, you know you shouldn't....

QuirkyHorse · 29/07/2026 07:25

Yes
No
Sometimes

Noshadowsinthedarkness · 29/07/2026 07:25

I don’t think it’s lazy.

I think in an ideal world it sounds lovely, but realistically it’s a massive risk being financially reliant on someone who could up and go etc.

Ibi · 29/07/2026 07:25

Some people are lazy, don’t think it really matters what your job is. I work, but I’m also a bit lazy, but it makes me efficient - I always look for the fastest way to do something.

Sometimes one parent staying at home is best for the family, sometimes both parents going to work is best for the family, sometimes both parents staying at home is best. Just stop caring what other people think, it has no bearing on your life.

CharlotteSometimes1 · 29/07/2026 07:25

If you’re a SAHM and you know you’re not lazy then who the fuck cares what someone online that you don’t know thinks.

hugasaurus · 29/07/2026 07:24
Hmm
Over It Whatever GIF
Betadelta · 29/07/2026 07:24

It's impossible to vote because the title and the question in the last line of your post are opposite to each other.

likeitshard · 29/07/2026 07:24

A sahp is the childcare provider and cleaner that working parents often need to pay for. Plus usually doing all the mental load on top.

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BelleEpoque27 · 29/07/2026 07:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 29/07/2026 07:21

Title doesn’t match the post and voting

napody · 29/07/2026 07:20

Did AI suggest this title? It's such clickbait! And also "AIBU to think...." is supposed to be followed by what you think. Which it doesn't here, and so then your your YABU/YANBU don't make any sense.