Adopting a dog when son wants a specific one we might not be successful applying for

Just say that our dog will probably be a different one. That he needs to accept that and if he can't then no dog. Sad but true. He needs to show he's emotionally mature enough to understand that he's not getting a specific dog. And he's very lucky to be getting one at all.

Op he’s 7, plus autistic, he’s hyper fixated because imagine being that age and being told a dog in this place needs a home and then you meet one you like, it just seems so hopeless and hopeful at the same time and is a very tough thing for him to figure out! Just- you need to remember you’re the adult here. He can’t make decisions and you need to distract him if it doesn’t work out (not necessarily with a pet!!)

We rehomed our Frenchie when she was 5 months and she has just turned 5 and we have not had one issue with her breathing at all. In fact apart from her getting corn stuck in her ear from running through a field she has never been at the vet other than her usual checks and jabs. Not all brachy dogs have issues.
And every breed comes with some sort of issue linked to their genetics.

I would never go to a breeder either but she has a fantastic life with us and not in a crate 12 hours a day in a tiny flat which she was in her first home. Luckily for us this doesn't seem to have left her with trauma she's the most loving wee dog ever.

I'm sure your son will adore whichever lucky wee dog ends up part of your family.
If it is a frenchie you are looking at then the rehoming charity FLOOF are desperate for foster and adopting families as they are having to turn so many dogs away

When you get a dog your son will love it 100%. He will understand if this one went to another family.
I wouldn't match a child with an animal without a commitment to adoption. Of course a child will react to meeting an animal in a cafe set up.

And I don't want to engage in the competition to save a dog. That's why I prefer a breeder where you can have an honest dialogue.

No, not all brachy dogs. But little ones like frenchies and pugs who literally cannot breathe due to their terrible genetics, yes. If it warrants surgery, then that's an indication that they fit that bill.

You asked what you should do if your son doesnt get to adopt this unethcially bred, unhealthy dog. I am suggesting you teach him to love healthy, ethically bred dogs so that becomes his norm.

Humanely euthanise.

It isn't at all ridiculous. Many breeders use rescues for this exact purpose. They give them the dogs they can't sell as well as the "returns".

The only rescues should be breed specific and mostly have ex working dogs and those where the owner has died or can't look after them. These dogs should only go to experienced owners or those willing to undergo and educational programme on the breed and their needs.

What a ridiculous thing to say!

So are rescues supposed to shoot them on sight??!

Wow

That's what a lot of people think should happen to XL Bullies, too. They are all unhealthy, unethical dogs. Putting them down would be a mercy on them. Animals have no concept of the future. They know right now, some concept of the past and that's it.

Why not focus on an ethical, healthy breed and rescue one of those?

Rescuing unethical breeds just encourages people to breed more of them. They have that safety net for the ones too unhealthy to sell.

I wouldn’t say anything for now. How old is your son? Unfortunately lots of rescues won’t place dogs if there are children in the home. Sometimes they have a rule like no children under 12/14/16. And even if they allow it, usually if there are multiple applications for one dog they will go with homes without children first. That’s one reason why so many families end up going to breeders instead.

I think I’d see how it plays out and give him time to forget the dog. It sounds like it’s something like a French/English bulldog or pug. It may take some time and searching to find a rescue that will allow you to adopt from them depending on your son’s age, so don’t be disheartened by this first one if nothing comes of it. He’ll love whatever dog you end up adopting.

Don't you just explain that the dog belongs to somebody. You can't simply have any dog just because you like it. Like anything else in the World.

I'd not rescue an adult dog with a young child btw. Not sure how old your son is.

Anyway. I'd be very clear about the process, that we might not get the dog, and promise a bought puppy of the breed if we do not.