AIBU To Point Out Opinions You Don’t See Outside Of Mumsnet …?

The endless 'reporting' of innocuous comments to HR many of which are just eavesdropped overheard and the mortally offended poster wasn't even part of the conversation.

The suggestion that if a small business struggles financially when an employee is continually on the sick then they are not a viable concern and don't deserve to be in business

You can't own shares jointly though, even as a married couple. That's pretty much the only financial thing where couples don't get to decide whether it's joint.

Every thread…

Whereas the truth is of course found in neither of your deliberately polarised options.

"It has no impact on me whatsoever" is completely disingenuous. Society is a system and relies on collective responsibility.

We should all care about schools, universities, prisons and the other institutions of our society, about accurate reporting, about free speech and about language regardless of whether we have a loved one directly involved (but obviously are likely to care even more if we do).

We should all care about who is allowed to play contact sports with teenage girls and share their single sex changing rooms and sleeping facilities on sports teamor school trips, take women's places in competitive high level sports, use the toilets we used to be able to allow nine or ten year old girls to go into without supervision, and yes we should also all care about rape crisis centers, prisons and accurate reporting and crime statistics.

Oh another one, if you don’t have a pension of 50k per year you will have an awful retirement. There is also a lack of understanding about how pension schemes have changed & are far less generous

That it's fine to not invite step children to weddings and leave them out of family photos. I've never known a stepchild in any family get treated like that.

The cubicles that you describe are actually dangerous and harmful for everyone.
There's a wonderful poster called @keeptoiletsinglesex who can explain all the reasons why including the fact that people will die from heart attacks, strokes and seizures because there's no gap between the floor and walls/door to see you and people have been found dead in them having lay for days before they were found.

Men need to be more accepting of gender non-conforming men in their spaces

Exactly this. If you told me you did this in real life I’d feel shocked internally and say “oh right, ah ok” but I’d be thinking there’s not a cat in hells chance I’m ever going to do that.

I know, I would say it’s come into fashion a few times now. My niece saw a picture of me and my brother a couple of years ago and asked me if I still had any of my clothes so she could have them which I thought was really funny. She said it was “very y2k” and it’s literally a pic of me and her dad with our friends in the park drinking Tesco vodka and with a super king on the go 😭. I did give her my old clothes and I will say she looks a lot cooler and she styles them in a way that makes them look a lot better, but it’s very weird seeing my very well behaved posh niece cutting about in the same clothes I was committing petty crimes in 10/15 years ago.

I expect that a lot of people on MN hold measured views, but your not allowed to hold a measured view.

My opinion is that money and infrastructure allows for all manner of solutions befitting everyone's dignity, and we should be pressing the wealth-hoarders to get a share that allows for that.

Oh my goodness a measured post on this issue! I don’t mean it’s just unusual for MN, I find it unusual for the world as a whole.

I’m seeing lots of things from trans men at the moment, saying “do you want me in your loos?” And it’s a valid issue. It’s almost like everyone forgot trans men exist.

Toilets (in my eyes) seem to be the easiest part of the debate to solve - just have a row of individual cubicles straight of the main corridor, and make it socially unacceptable for men to leave them a state - but I’d have thought that once I had a son and had to consider the safely of him going in the men’s loos from age 8 (he’s 12 now so we’re past that worry but it’s still not great).

Exactly! Our EDI manager at work gets frustrated because everyone thinks her job is about meeting ethnic diversity targets, when actually she's managing the fact that there are now six generations in the workplace all with different cultures and expectations.

The classic post is "some young whippersnapper was appointed to the role I have forty years experience in" etc.

I work for an employer that skews older, and I get a lot of ageist comments, and hear a lot about younger colleagues too.

(Don't get me started on "white people can't experience racism"... That's just another opinion/theory that gets quoted as fact!)

Define hate.
As a regular poster on the Feminism sex and gender board, I can assure you is the most heavily moderated board on this site and there is no transphobia allowed to stand.

What you do have is women who know our rights and what the laws say rather than what trans activists claim it says and will push back on lies, misrepresentation and faulty logic and false equivalence.

We do generally agree that trans identifying people should be able to dress how they like (in a situationally appropriate way) and date and willing adult that they want and should not be discriminated against. We just don't believe that they have changed sex or belong as part of the opposite sex nor have access to any facilities, spaces, sports or groups for the opposite sex.

Agree about classism, definitely rife in the UK. Just want to add that, where I live (not the UK, incidentally), the ‘chav’ look is very in style right now! I wore an oversized football shirt as a dress to a festival recently, friends wear tracksuits and baseball caps all the time. We’re all ‘middle class’ I suppose, although class is pretty meaningless here, and have very much embraced this look 😎

Agree with all of this. Also at home I would hear alot of things I would not hear if I were eating food on a restaurant. Something's have to be done for life to go on such as parents sleeping etc but just to go out for dinner leaving a child alone. Just no

I don’t think that’s really comparable to a 360 degree rotating video monitor while you are 50ft away.

I've not met anyone in real life who boasts about how often they wash their towels.

I don’t know, I believe no trans person should be discriminated against and should all the rights of someone of their sex (which cannot change), but I think it is absolutely fair and should be accepted that I am fearful (or phobic) of a trans woman (aka a man) in the women’s toilets and what their intentions might be.

It’s not an irrational phobia, it’s one grounded in the reality of a life of experience around men.

I dislike implying that any sort of “anti”- anything attitude is a phobia, like we don’t understand it and fear it because we are illogical and uneducated. I understand perfectly well what the risks are, and have a rational and logic wariness of it.

Crazy isnt it! On call the midwife episodes they leave their babies in prams on the streets outside pubs, shops and even their own front doors.

I remember saying "WTF mum?!" (This was her era). And she said it was very normal back then, everyone did it and while babies going missing did happen it really was rare.

how the world evolves!

ETA - not the same as a hotel room obviously! But evolution of risk assesment

I know people who did though, when it was perfectly acceptable. They were staying at a holiday camp and left their children in a locked cabin while they went to the social hub bit. There were people patrolling who listened for children crying and notified the parents. Another world. (The kids were fine, btw).

Madeline McCann vibes

i suppose we all access risk differently. I let my dc go on school trips, walk to school alone etc

No it isn't.
What you do have is a group of women who believe that women are human beings with human rights of our own that are based in biology and that no man however sincerely they believe they are can ever be a woman.
These beliefs are not transphobic infact they are the majority beliefs of the general public are protected in law and aline with the supreme court rulling. Oh they're also biological facts as no mamal has ever changed sex.
We also recognise the harms of gender ideology and medical transitioning especially of children.

The fact that gender idealogs and useful idiots like to call these facts and beliefs transphobic proves that the word has lost all useful meaning as when a virus is considered transphobic (yes they claimed covid was transphobic because it killed transwomen at the same rate as men instead of the women they claim to be) proves how meaningless the accusation of transphobia has become. When everything is transphobic nothing is

My kids are older now, but leaving kids in hotel rooms was very much the norm certainly in the early 2000s. We were somewhat seen as odd for not doing this. We used to go to weddings and friends would leave their babies in the hotel room, either with a monitor or with reception staff listening in. My husband and I were not comfortable with this for many reasons eg possibility of fire, knowing that any hotel staff could get into the room. So we didn’t participate. But it was completely normal and accepted then. Hotels listed it as a perk on their websites!

Not at all. The fact that I couldn’t forgive myself is simply a reflection that I’d knowingly accepted a risk that was entirely avoidable.

For me, the question isn’t “How likely is it?” It’s “Is the benefit worth even a tiny chance of a catastrophic outcome?”