AIBU To Point Out Opinions You Don’t See Outside Of Mumsnet …?

Yes, you definitely sound like someone who doesn’t care about me judging them! 😆. I haven’t used a listening service myself but know plenty who do & don’t judge them or consider myself a better parent

And as I said I have let my dc use the hotel child focused activities as opposed to never leaving them alone.

I’m not trying to start an argument on the truth of any of these statements, just curious what others have noticed.

Pull the other one, OP. You've framed all of these in the most hyperbolic way possible, just to be goady. Don't be surprised if people think you're full of it

What’s the ‘club thing’ at night you mention?

You realise people are talking about putting their baby down to sleep upstairs, then going to have dinner downstairs for a couple of hours while watching their child on a video baby monitor.

They’re not off roaming around a resort or town all evening boozing.

You haven’t told us what you did with your child in these hotels, given you never left them alone, but also didn’t sit in the room in the evening..?

I haven’t mentioned mini discos or big “fuck off” resorts as I have never been to these things. Guess you have. 🤔

Again, you are thinking of a very, very different set up with the constant mention of on holiday, pool and mini disco.

No one is talking about some huge fuck off resort abroad with multiple buildings. You’re completely misunderstanding the situation and yet going on and on.

Where? Look, I’m judging you and you’re judging me. I don’t care that you’re judging me. You obviously care that I’m judging you.

I suggest getting over it as I won’t stop thinking that taking a wean on holiday then going out and leaving them is weird (at the very least) parenting.

Keep asking questions though to make you feel better.

I won’t be answering you anymore. You know what I think. That won’t change.

@DifferentforgirlsI work in education & people have never avoided me on holiday 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Differentforgirlshence why I asked for clarification? Does never leaving your dc alone mean sleeping in the same bedroom? Hotel rooms, villas etc would be strange places as it’s not your normal abode.

Because they couldn’t wait to get away from us when they heard what we did for a living.

What?

Are you saying that being in the next bedroom is the same as leaving them in a strange place alone?

How do you know it was guilt?!

I agree. We were on holiday years ago when my oldest was 3 and I was pregnant with my youngest. Got chatting to a couple at the pool who asked why I wasn’t at this club thing at night and I said I had the wean. They said they just left theirs in the apartment and took the baby monitor out. This was me 😱. They then asked what we both did for a living. Me - education. Husband - social work.

They were never at the pool again when we were.

Guilt.

So you always shared bedrooms? until what age?

Go on then, tell us all your brilliant solution.

So, I do this from time to time. Either that or use the word "anyway".

Yes, it is very much a filler word but that is how I speak normally. I tend to write in the same way that I speak (unless it's for some formal document!) and I will often start a sentence with a filler word like that when I am speaking.

@villadicanceI agree

Good for you.

"...the younger ones are thriving in their studies and looking at having high powered careers. I don’t know any that fit the ND, online stereotypes."

That's interesting.

My DH was involved in a legal case against the Women's Institute last year and it was a large part of their defence that trans-identifying men are likely the most disadvantaged group in society today.

They said that:

"Trans people suffer disproportionately from poor mental health, including depression, which cannot be disconnected from their experience of exclusion, loneliness and isolation."

They also claimed that:

"It is well documented that trans people suffer disproportionately from poor mental health, including depression, which cannot be disconnected from their feeling of exclusion. A 2024 study found that transgender people in England are much more likely to have a long-term mental health condition, with the risk increased for transgender women compared to cis men and women.7 Research from The Trevor Project found that 68% of transgender women had considered suicide in the last year, and 23% had attempted suicide in the last year."

and

"A 2024 study of university applicants found that 81% of trans/non-binary
applicants had missed education due to their mental health."

and

"Further, as a result of these disadvantages, trans people are disproportionately under-represented in a wide range of education, professions and roles in public life. The government’s national LGBT survey found that compared to all respondents aged 16-64, trans women within that age range were less likely to have had a paid job in the 12 months preceding the survey – only 65% of trans women had one."

And this was from a noted junior at 11KBW chambers.

They decided not to test those claims in court though and changed their membership policy.

Yes so do I and when my children were young we never left them alone while on holiday.

Keeping your mouth shut instead of arguing against something you will never understand or comprehend is best. Some things are bigger than your opinion and won’t be changed by your opinion. Best to keep quiet instead of embarrassing yourself.

I'm confused as to why it's so unacceptable. Don't people sit in their gardens while babies are asleep in bed. And what do you think would actually be happening to a sleeping baby in a secure room in the same building.

I remember when my kids were young there was baby listening services available in hotel and holiday camps and they'd beep you to sort out kids if they woke ( not that I ever got to use with my nocturnal eldest) but I would have had she settled to sleep

And maybe people did with no issues

Despite having children, I like to broaden my horizons to beyond the four walls of my house.

But it cuts to the heart of it.

I think people are talking about very different types of hotel here.

Not huge resorts but small hotels where it's no more risky than doing it in your own home

Well that’s just a difference of opinion on what’s better for the kids / what your kids are able to withstand.

We are talking about babies, and some babies don’t like being kept up too late, and would prevent you from eg sitting and eating a meal in a restaurant.

My older child I can do that with, a baby less so. Actually <4 months it was fine, but not after.

The baby isn’t ’dining with us’ because they’re a baby, so I don’t think they feel left out from the conversation or cuisine.

As for ‘you have the other 51 weeks to do that’ - well… no, being in the hotel is the opportunity to dine in a restaurant which you don’t have the rest of the time as it’s nearby. And I do like to go away more than once a year… so perhaps in my scenario you need to find ways to adapt vs one week and hope for the best.

I have not stayed in a hotel with a ‘mini disco’ but I assume these are the kinds of huge resorts where you would be a long way from your child from room to restaurant, and in that scenario I wouldn’t necessarily do it either.

Ouch! 😆