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Original poster

to think a lot of men will not marry if they already get everything?

491 replies

Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:33

If he is already getting everything on a plate, a committed partner, a sexual relationship, children, someone to split the bills with, emotional support and a family life, all without making any legal or lifelong commitment, why would he change anything?

I know this does NOT apply to every couple or to ALL men. Some people genuinely do not want to marry and both are happy with that. But if one person wants marriage and the other keeps putting it off year after year, are they really going to change when they are already getting everything they want?

Why would someone buy the ticket when they are already getting the whole show for free?

OP posts:
StrawberryMatchaLatte · 28/07/2026 18:55

Some people, women included, aren't really that bothered about marriage and see it as an unnecessary formality. So it's not that they are dead against marriage, it's just that it's not on their agenda. If a woman wants to be married and the man is positively against it, then it depends on the reason why. I think most men who didn't previously see marriage on their agenda, would marry a woman they loved who wanted to get married.

hahabahbag · 28/07/2026 18:54

Definitely not all men, my dh really wanted to marry, and wanted a proper wedding too, i would have been happy with a trip up to Gretna

PancakeCloud · 28/07/2026 18:54

ChickenBananaBanana · 28/07/2026 18:35

Imo they will marry you if they actually love you. If not, they don't.

what if the woman doesn’t want to get married?

Culpeper · 28/07/2026 18:53

Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:51

So he will have sometimes several kids with a woman he doesn’t love?

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I think that’s sometimes the case, yes.

I wouldn’t have settled for someone that wasn’t completely and utterly devoted enough to want to marry me.

PancakeCloud · 28/07/2026 18:53

I don’t think I know any men like this. All sounds very old fashioned honestly.

Original poster
Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:52

ChickenBananaBanana · 28/07/2026 18:35

Imo they will marry you if they actually love you. If not, they don't.

If they are together 50 years and he didn’t marry her it was because he didn’t love her? Even though they have kids and grandkids together?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:51

5dollah · 28/07/2026 18:48

I agree with a previous poster that if the man loves the woman enough, he will marry her. However, I subscribe to doing things the conventional way, such as kids after marriage. That's what I did and that's what I will advise my daughters to do. There are too many risk factors doing it the other way and people leave themselves very vulnerable.

So he will have sometimes several kids with a woman he doesn’t love?

OP posts:
Jellybunny98 · 28/07/2026 18:50

5dollah · 28/07/2026 18:49

I think that some men want to keep their options open even after they have kids.

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Options open and finances closed!

5dollah · 28/07/2026 18:49

Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:41

So these men don’t love the women they are with even if they have DC with them?

Show quote history

I think that some men want to keep their options open even after they have kids.

5dollah · 28/07/2026 18:48

I agree with a previous poster that if the man loves the woman enough, he will marry her. However, I subscribe to doing things the conventional way, such as kids after marriage. That's what I did and that's what I will advise my daughters to do. There are too many risk factors doing it the other way and people leave themselves very vulnerable.

Original poster
Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:41

ChickenBananaBanana · 28/07/2026 18:35

Imo they will marry you if they actually love you. If not, they don't.

So these men don’t love the women they are with even if they have DC with them?

OP posts:
Culpeper · 28/07/2026 18:40

I sort of agree with you, as amongst my friends that have been together for years yet aren’t married, it’s always the woman that would love to be married and the man that’s not bothered.

In my relationship, being married was equally important to both of us. And, it might be old-fashioned, but we did things in the right order and had kids after we were married.

Original poster
Pinkshocks · 28/07/2026 18:40

Sunnyday321 · 28/07/2026 18:36

Myself and dh married a couple of years ago after many ( many ! ) years together .
So I don't think I agree with you .

Like I said NOT ALL MEN in my op.

OP posts:
Sunnyday321 · 28/07/2026 18:36

Myself and dh married a couple of years ago after many ( many ! ) years together .
So I don't think I agree with you .

Poppystone · 28/07/2026 18:36

Yes, you're right. Marriage makes no sense for the person with the upper hand financially, unless you're gaining something else e.g. all the things you mention.

ChickenBananaBanana · 28/07/2026 18:35

Imo they will marry you if they actually love you. If not, they don't.

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