to think a lot of men will not marry if they already get everything?

Becoming married does not cost much at all. You are confusing a wedding with the legal part.

They obviously have no idea about the joys of Inheritance tax etc then

Did you consider that there is a cost associated with marriage and that for some people it isn’t worth that because the money could be better spent on family life, and buying a house etc. this could be why they aren’t marrying

Exactly I would want a full test drive thanks.

So are you suggesting you don’t have sex until marriage?

Or you don’t live with someone until marriage?

How do you know you are fully compatible, this outdated nonsense is why so many women got trapped with shitty men and bad relationships in the past. Because once they were married it was too late.

Also - assuming the woman wants to get married.

So I am married but I don't think this is true at all. I think men will typically be more enthusiastic with marriage if you do it early on in the relationship, even overlapping with the honeymoon phase. After that it can be harder to motivate men to do the wedding. I've known a number of women who had to issue an ultimatum which 9 times out of 10 results in agreement to marry, and 1 times out of 10 a split. Essentially most women will have to push for it and take the initiative. The other window of opportunity is when all his friends / brother and so on get married that often prompts them or if they know other men are interested and sniffing around and they realise they need to lock you down.

If you want marriage but aren't assertive enough to push for it, if he feels like he has the upper hand (financially, socially and so on) or that you aren't at risk of being wooed away by another man he probably feels like he doesn't need to do the whole wedding thing just yet or ever.

Some men also just hate the idea of a big wedding but would happily do a small private one but the woman wants a big day and that becomes a sticking point.

No living together? No sex? So the only women worthy of marriage can only have sex with one person in her whole life? How can you be serious?

I never understand how some men view marriage as a bigger (and less attractive) commitment than children. A marriage can be ended, but children tie you to someone for life

’getting it on a plate though’? As if the other person (woman) is a stupid mug? The partner is also getting the same! Why is being married still seen as a prize? That somehow the relay is superior and more loving?

Brexit.

Still sexist claptrap though.

I know lots women who don’t want to get married. It’s not necessary these days.

Most women who want to get married are low earners who want access to their partners finances.

Of course not but a future faking man can be very convincing!

It’s called future faking isn’t it? And the women tend to stay with these men (mainly men let’s be honest) because of the kids.

Sexist claptrap all the same.

I 100% agree with you. I wish women would understand how much more power, freedom, peace of mind and influence if we would have if we actually stopped giving men anything without high expectations to them. No intimacy, no living together, no sexting, no nothing until there's a legal commitment that protects us if men decide to be assholes that go back on their commitments.

I also think people should be able to put forward evidence of infidelity from their spouse in a court of law, and that the wronged spouse should legally be able to demand, and be granted, all marital assets upon proven infidelity from their spouse. Maybe people would think twice about cheating if it has crippling financial consequences to do it.

We were got married first than did the rest made sense to me

My gran and my mum used to say “why would he buy the cow if he’s already getting the milk for free “

Hmmm but I also know loveless marriages.

People that get married because it’s the right thing to do.

They get married, have kids, and argue about their partners all the time.

I was a single mum with my first, but realised I don’t value marriage sadly, but it might come from witnessing a bad divorce as a teen. I might need therapy haha. Now that I’m in my 30s I’m witnessing either divorces from couples that rushed into marriage but have family, or people that stayed single and marriage is more of a strategic move to have kids and security etc.

I do think a lot of marriage is about family, legacy and commitment - abit more than love.

But I think if someone hesitates for marriage when it’s very important to the other partner, then that’s more of a value misalignment than love. I guess you don’t love them enough to commit - or you’re not ready for whatever reason - so then that isn’t your forever person? Because that’s what rejecting marriage tells me.

I’ve also heard married couples grow in love - get married for the sake of tradition and kids and then fall in love with their partners over time.

They have to sacrifice wages and pensions on maternity leave, etc.

Everyone I know in professional jobs gets paid in full for 9 months maternity, some 12. No excuse for not having a good job before having children.

All of those women wanted to marry after a while. Nice isn't it behind anything else

We can't know that; there's no way to measure happiness. But if we're doing anecdata, I'm not convinced. I've known a lot of very old people - like 90+ and married 60+ years, and something that's jumped out has been the proportion of very happy-seeming couples. Not all by any means, but definitely higher than among the younger married people I know. Men, in particular, married for decades and still seemingly unable to believe their luck. It feels like when women weren't just so easily accessible and you couldn't just ditch one and shack up with another in weeks, they... I don't know, valued them higher or something? Whereas now it's like we view other people like disposable commodities, and are always wondering if we might be able to get an upgrade.

It's only in the last thirty-odd years (out of all recorded human history) that living together had become the norm (in the west; not everywhere). It doesn't really seem like marriages are getting happier. The divorce rate just keeps rising.

Divorce rates are rising because women can afford to leave. Because tgey have a finacially indeoendence they didn’t have before.
Marriages before weren’t happier. Women in the 50~60 were on ADs just to cope with said husband. Many were miserable. They just had no other choice.