Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

It makes me really sad and upset whenever I read threads like this I wonder when the bar was set so low and also wonder where people's self respect are nowadays? Reading all your replies it sounds like the bar is well and truly through the floor with this one i honestly feel so sorry for you being stuck married to someone so selfish I just hope you see your self worth one day and get rid and know that u can do better sorry no advice too shocked and appalled.

You can probably also change the dates for the flights (with paying for whatever increased costs that might incur) because of the situation. Just call the airline. I was able to do that when my DM was dying.

This needs cancelling now and save the money for a trip when you are well.

There should be absolutely no choice between going and leaving you alone against medical advice or having a holiday without you.

Tell him to sort his shit out and get this cancelled.

Otherwise I'd be changing the locks if he goes and filing for immediately divorce. I would make this clear to him.

It's not a conversation the children should be involved in but I would 100% make the eldest aware of the medical advice.

If he goes without you, change the locks while he's gone.

There's no way my kids would go without me. Would yours? Not really a family holiday without mum is it 😕
Hopefully you get it sorted and your husband sees sense.
But for me, id really be questioning my marriage at this point.
Hope everything goes well with your op and you are feeling better soon 💐

Your DH sounds very selfish. Your insurance should definitely cover it and there is no way that you should be left alone after having major surgery! I'd get your 20yo son and daughter on your side to insist that they don't want to go without you. Do you think your DH just doesn't want to have to deal with you as you recuperate? I can't imagine mine even suggesting they leave me alone.

Wow, your husband sounds like a shit role model to your children, I would hate my children to be as selfish and self centred as he is.

id be telling him that if he abandons you to go his holiday when you are needing help and support after an operation then the marriage would be over.

there is not a chance my dh would go and leave me at home.

Hi OP, I am a travel insurer by trade. Most policies would allow you to cancel and re-book i would have a look at the medical cancellation wording. An excess will be applied

If this is the case and frankly even if it is not, then you need to cancel until you are well enough to travel. I am amazed he would leave when you need support

Reading your update where you need help at home then he's being totally selfish. In sickness and in health were the vows he took.
With the insurance covering most of it, it needs to be rebooked. Actually, the moment it was known that you are unable to stay at home alone is when the holiday was 100% off for this year.

Get well soon OP, I do hope you'll be ok. Scary times.

Your husband is vile, what a self centred monster of a human. He says you’re being selfish asking to move the holiday, yet he’s happy to leave you alone, with no support, after major surgery following direct explicit advice that you should not be left alone just so he can go on holiday. What the fuck.

I think it depends whether the insurance will allow for it all to be rebooked. In our house we’d all look to reschedule but if it wasn’t possible then the rest would go. In your case though it sounds like your DH is a bit of a selfish prick. If he were mine I wouldn’t reschedule for too far into the future as I’d be planning on divorcing him fairly soon after such poor behaviour

Your husband is a selfish, childish, uncaring swine. I hope you show him this.

How awful. This is not acceptable. Please, whatever you do, prioritise your physical health and then when you are physically well concentrate on all the other ones, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial. Which probs means being not married to this person who does not put you first. He does not value you and thats just sad. Im so sorry

Surely it depends if you will get your money back or lose it. If the latter then let hubby and kids go as longas you wont be left alone. Maybe you could do a name change and someone in the family could go?

I agree with this
No way would I go off on holiday when a family member is sick

This is hw I would know that my husband no longer cares for me.

If you can claim on your insurance then cancel, claim and go next year once recovered. If not covered or have no insurance then let them go rather than lose the money. If my partner even suggested I miss out and recover alone at home with cardiac issues (provided we had relevant insurance we could claim on) id go absolutely crazy how selfish

Yes VERY fish re the flights, there is zero chance of all the flights coming under 1k for 4 people to America, and it's literally impossible to book flights 3 years in advance.

I would be questioning him over that.

Breaks my heart reading this your husband sounds exactly like my ex , so many things over the years I should have left for , he’s showing you you mean absolutely nothing to him I’m never one to say divorce but are you prepared to put up with this for the rest of your life ? You are at your lowest and he doesn’t care an ounce , your adult son is old enough to have your back unless he’s a selfish fuck like his dad.

if you booked it and are lead passenger change it yourself but I imagine with a man like that he will be to exert his power .

if they do go without you please take care and really think about if this os going to be the way you want the rest of the days to play out

I’m a nurse hospital won’t allow you home without suitable care in place so make sure you inform them of his plans

Yes. Just not possible more than 13 or so months ahead

We had Disney booked a few years ago but couldn’t go because DH was ill. We got everything back except a few hundred pounds on seat bookings. No way would I have considered going without him and no way would DH consider going without me. We have both been away with our girls separately in the past for various reasons but no way would we consider going on a trip like this unless it was everyone going!

I can’t believe flights for all of you only cost £1k?

otoh just because you booked it separately insurance should still cover them

anyway if costs to reschedule are minimal then yes you should reschedule

Sorry OP, I should have read the whole thread before messaging.

The booking the flights 3 years ago part smells a bit fishy?

He does sounds like a turd

This is exactly what I would say.