Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

this make no sense, flights arent released three years in advance and no way are they £250pp. ive been in travel for years and to Orlando, even indrect they are not this price.

Either way, just claim on insurance and re book when you all go, you husband is a twat....if this is true

I’m so sorry you’ve been so ill, this stress is the last thing you need. To be honest if my husband went ahead with this I’d tell him not to bother coming back.

Poor OP, you don't need a spinning head right now.
Please focus on your self care.

What an absolute bastard he is! If he was a decent husband, he wouldn’t even be contemplating going without you, he would be worried sick and supporting you when you get home!
Together with clearing off on holiday just after your miscarriage and then lying about booking the flights then I’d be seriously considering divorcing him. What else has he lied about? Could you ever trust him again? He is not a decent man.
As a previous poster said, I sometimes read posts on MN and hope they’re made up because otherwise these shit bags walk amongst us.

I'm so sorry, OP. This is a whole life-changing series of events.

1. You are very seriously unwell and if you are having treatment/ surgery your husband needs to be at home to take care of you. No question. Shut any talk of them going quickly.
2. This was a family dream holiday so no man left behind. You all go together.
3. Your husband is a bad man who doesn't love you. You need to think very carefully abut whether you can carry on a marriage after this. I couldn't.
4. You still need to be looked after till you are well and you might still want your family to go on the rebooked holiday. Keep your thoughts about your marriage to yourself and, perhaps make quiet plans for a new life without him, when you are strong and ready.

think that is unfair. What is the long term prospect for your health as that may decide how long before you can go?

What about having a discussion with your kids included rather than it being between you and him? It sounds like the oldest is happy to postpone, the younger one might not see it immediately, but three weeks away from their Mum, when she's not well, might make him reconsider.

I'd also like to echo what others have said OP. Don't lie to the hospital, because that is putting your health and safety at risk. There's a very good reason why you have been told you need support at home after you are discharged from hospital. Medical professionals don't tell patients this for absolutely no reason. The fact your husband wants you to lie is absolutely disgusting and he should be ashamed of himself for even thinking it. It shows you how much concern he has for you, zero.

You need to tell your oldest, who is 20, what the hospital have said regarding needing someone at home to be discharged and your husband wanting you to lie. Your son is an adult, he understands and is happy for the holiday to be postponed. Unfortunately, you don't know what your husband has told him, he could have easily lied to him as well, and told him that the hospital have agreed that you're able to manage on your own.

Again I shall echo what others have said, you can't book flights several years ahead. British Airways, only allow a year ahead from the current date. Flights aren't planned that far in advance. Your husband lied about the timing of when the flights were booked. I'd be wondering what else he's lied about. He's a highly manipulative man, who will do absolutely anything to get what he wants.

Your husband is a selfish arse (and that's putting it politely). You are currently in hospital, an operation is pending, and he thinks he can swan off on the expensive holiday without you and leave you alone to recover.

I see from your updates OP, that this isn't the first time your husband has behaved in this way. What kind of man leaves his partner in hospital to go on holiday, after she's had a miscarriage? To add insult to injury, his own Mum agreed that it would be best for HIM to go on the holiday! Why is it, that behind a twat of a man, there's usually a Mother, who's pandered to her son, and never held him accountable for his behaviour?

Your husband is a selfish man, who only thinks of himself and what he wants. He gives no thought to you (and likely your children), because ultimately he's doesn't care. He wants what he wants, and doesn't see you being unwell as a reason why he can't have it. His behaviour shows a total lack of respect or love for you, and complete disinterest.

The vast majority of men, would be on the phone trying to rebook the holiday. Their only concern would be their wife, and her welfare and making sure she recovered. That is what love looks like and what a kind, caring man should be doing.

If your husband does go on the holiday without you (and I expect he will), I would be using that time to think about what you want for the future. For me, there would be no turning back. He's shown you exactly who he is and where his priorities lay...so please believe him. I would be 'getting my ducks in a row' to quote a MN phrase, whilst he's enjoying his holiday.

Of course you should rebook! There’s no question! Your husband isn’t being kind.

My husband, and I think most decent husbands, would refuse to go if I'd just had emergency heart surgery.

I know my dh would say stuff the holiday. Your health is so important, without it, you have nothing. If you cancel only you would get the money back, as the insurance will only pay out to the one who is unable to travel. Insurance companies are ruthless and will not pay out for the rest of your family , as they are not the ones with the issue.
Twice l became very ill with leukemia. My husband was brilliant, his love for me was there, every second of everyday. There would be no way he would consider going anywhere without me. Your children are old enough to understand why. I hope you get well soon, take care

I've read all your posts and your husband sounds like a dreadful man who I would not want to be married to a second longer.

I hope the holiday gets moved as that is so clearly what should happen.

So sorry he treats you this way. I hope you are fixed and out of hospital soon.

It isnt. OP needs care.

My OH has been one of the worst partners anyone could pick (my fault I’m still in the relationship, not moaning, just giving context) and even he wouldn’t do this. We had something last year where we almost couldn’t get someone to have our dog while we were away and when I suggested that I stay home he said he wouldn’t go without me. I was surprised actually. I think it’s awful to go without you, surely you need caring for as well otherwise you could just go and take it easy? If it was £10,000 plus then a few hundred to rearrange isn’t the end of the world. It’s disappointing for everyone but the holiday of a lifetime shouldn’t be taken without the full family surely? I think I would be suggesting a divorce to be honest. He has shown you how much care you will receive should you ever become really ill.

I’m so sorry. Your h is a thoughtless, selfish idiot.

i think you should postpone the holiday until next year. I can’t believe your h is suggesting going without you!

I hope all your treatment goes well and you recover soon.

Have you looked into getting insurance after what’s happened? You’ll need to use someone like Staysure or another specialist for travelling with health conditions more than likely, and this could be cost prohibitive depending on what is wrong with you - it could be thousands more for insurance. I’d be contacting your own insurance to see if you’d be covered to travel next year first, declaring the health conditions, and if not obtaining a quote from someone who will, before you make a decision.

Personally I think I’d wave them off, if they’ve been counting down for 3 years and it’s finally here.

She isn't OK to be left on her own. The hospital have said that they won't discharge her unless she has someone to look after her at home. Her husband wants her to lie to the hospital.

You need someone 21 or over in most hotels
in Florida, so this is very unlikely to be a possibility.

OP said “The only thing we would lose out on is the flights as they were booked separately and that’s about £1k of the costs”. So she says they are losing out on hard cash costs as it cannot be claimed via the insurance.

@HealthConcerns24 if you’re well enough to be by yourself let them go. If not reschedule.

I totally understand both sides of this.

my view is with early and late teens he should go. They will be devastated and also soon won’t have the opportunity as they will have moved on. It’s a precious time for them and to do this with both parents, or one, will be very special for them. You don’t know when you can travel.

if the kids were younger or older I’d be answering differently.

also think if DH. He’s had a very stressful few weeks with you being unwell and has the kids to manage through the holiday as well as worrying about you. Is he trying to work too?

he would also value the break, time with his DC and respect you for supporting them going.
thisbcoukd turn to resentment if you are difficult. Why enable that when there is no need.

So sorry op, you could do without this stress on top of being unwell. Yes, of course, the holiday should be rescheduled. I would be very upset with husband to even think about going. 😔

Not really. The hospital won't discharge OP unless she has someone at home to look after her. Her DH wants her to lie to the hospital.

It isn't safe for her to be on her own but he is still planning to go. This is about more than OP just missing the holiday.

This is awful, you are in hospital and all he is worried about is a holiday.
Let them bloody go, advise the hospital you have no care at home because they have all gone away, they will arrange something. Sit back don't argue or agree to him going, see what he decides.
If he decides to go claim your portion of the costs back from the insurance and use it for an online cheap divorce. Let him come home to his bags outside (get a friend to do it)
Obvs Im not you but this would be a marriage ender for me. Showing his true colours here if you stay and become even slightly unwell in the future you know he will leave or shove you in a care home.