Page 12 | Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

HealthConcerns24 · 2026-07-28T14:40:57+00:00

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens. This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for. Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all. AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook? im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

Cornishclio · 28/07/2026 17:48

So his marriage vows of in sickness and health only apply if there is not a £10k holiday on offer? Was it your inheritance paying for this?

Original poster

HealthConcerns24 · 28/07/2026 17:47

@Savvysix1984 yep, always have insurance. Worldwide family cover and I’ve already looked into costs for moving it alls he’s just being a twat

OP posts:

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 28/07/2026 17:47

Jeezo, what a prince. I would honestly just contact the insurance company - if I could get a refund I’d take that and look to rebook the holiday for myself with my children, because I wouldn’t be going on holiday with my ex-husband.

Banabay · 28/07/2026 17:46

Let them go.
Your husband is scum.

Wake up to that.
Recover and make plans to get away from him.
He is nasty scum.

Savvysix1984 · 28/07/2026 17:43

Do you have insurance though? It may well cover the flights.

MyCherryPiee · 28/07/2026 17:42

The two things I would consider when making this decision would be

how much money you would lose
if you would need home care

As you wouldn’t lose that much money (in the grand scheme of the holiday costs) and you will need care, your husband is absolutely being unreasonable.

The only way I would be telling DH to go would be if we would lose most of the holiday cost. I would just tell the hospital I had nobody at home

Esmeraldathe3rd · 28/07/2026 17:41

HealthConcerns24 · 28/07/2026 17:25

I can’t remember who said Disney, but yes that’s where we’re going. It could be rescheduled for next year, or even the year after, if insurance allows which reading the policy it should do. And the policy states that we could all be moved if needed due to illness but I think there’s an excess of around £100 per person which isn’t too bad when you consider this is a 10k + holiday. The only things we would lose out on would be flights as they were booked separately and that’s about 1k of the cost.

We’ve been planning this for so long, we’ve been so excited and counting the months / weeks / days and now I feel so very guilty.

Husband still maintains I’m selfish for considering asking them to move it, that I should let them go and enjoy it and that I’m just jealous 🙄

Our eldest is almost 20 and says he understands totally if we need to move it, youngest is 12 so haven’t discussed it yet.

Ive been told I won’t be able to stay alone once home, as having an op in the coming days and won’t be able to lift anything heavier than a kettle and we live in a 3 storey house so logistics of caring for myself would be a nightmare. Husbands suggestion, just tell hospital they will be home and they go anyway and I ask a friend to pop in each day 🙄 We don’t have any family as we each lost our surviving parent earlier this year, another reason this was so looked forward to, partly paid for as inheritance and also just to have a break from the shit year we’ve had.

To be fair it’s not the first time he’s acted like this, when I had a miscarriage many years ago he still went away with his friends for a week 3 days after it happened as “there wasn’t anything he could do anyway”.

So I reckon they will go regardless of what I want.

God what a horrible horrible man. He doesn't care about you one little bit does he?

Just rearrange it yourself, call them, explain you're in hospital incredibly ill, can they cancel it to be rearranged at a later date when you're well enough to sort it.

Honestly divorce this man before you get old, he will never care about or for you, he doesn't deserve you caring for him.

ThisISmycircusandtheseAREmymonkeys · 28/07/2026 17:41

What do you think your parents would have said, the ones you inherited and partly paid for this family holiday to the happiest place on earth?

He is an arse.

Original poster

HealthConcerns24 · 28/07/2026 17:41

@MattressahoyI wish it was. But this is my life and it’s really happened. He’s done similar before way back when we were young and that should have been my wake up call but it wasn’t

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AmusedMember · 28/07/2026 17:41

they should only be going if it cannot be moved and you'd lose all that money!! Otherwise, no way!

Vaxtable · 28/07/2026 17:40

So he’s prepared to leave you on your own after a major illness all for a holiday

i would just cancel now. Them present it to him that you have cancels and re booked and I would be seriously rethinking the relationship as he obviously doesn’t care about you

PORALINA · 28/07/2026 17:39

Honestly, if all three are in agreement to leave you there at home/hospital, and to recover alone, I'd let them go. Get better and sort out a divorce asap. A tall order when you are ill, but find your anger and sort your life out.

I've a feeling the children might be on your side though. If they are not you have three husbands. All pricks. I am so angry for you.

I am currently a cardiac patient, just home from hospital in the last week, so I know what it's like. Very scary.

Mattressahoy · 28/07/2026 17:39

Occasionally I read posts on here and think, I really hope that this is made up/ a troll, no one should have to deal with this.

This is one of those posts.

Etherealcelestialbeing · 28/07/2026 17:39

You poor thing. You deserve to be treated better than this you know.

I am 3 weeks post surgery and still struggling to get up and down stairs and can’t lift anything. Not allowed to drive. If they will be away for 3 weeks, how will you get food and supplies? Do you have other family/friends who will drop in and see you?

ClawedButler · 28/07/2026 17:38

JFC, what an absolute arsehole.

I can't even formulate a response, I'm so shocked at his utter disdain and heartlessness.

neonjumper · 28/07/2026 17:38

The holiday needs to be rebooked … as you are definitely not well enough to be at home .
once you are recovered and come to terms with how little he cares for you , you go on holiday without him.

You focus in on your recovery for the time being, you ensure he pulls his weight whilst you recover … he’s shown you who he is … you don’t need to know anymore.

your 20yr has clocked this as well … he is trying to let you know without rocking the boat that he us not comfortable with going .

IsItSnowing · 28/07/2026 17:36

He is so totally unreasonable. What a selfish twat.
I'm so sorry you are having to put up with this. I hope your operation goes well and you can recover enough to ltb and get on with your life without him.

OneLimePombear · 28/07/2026 17:33

HealthConcerns24 · 28/07/2026 17:25

I can’t remember who said Disney, but yes that’s where we’re going. It could be rescheduled for next year, or even the year after, if insurance allows which reading the policy it should do. And the policy states that we could all be moved if needed due to illness but I think there’s an excess of around £100 per person which isn’t too bad when you consider this is a 10k + holiday. The only things we would lose out on would be flights as they were booked separately and that’s about 1k of the cost.

We’ve been planning this for so long, we’ve been so excited and counting the months / weeks / days and now I feel so very guilty.

Husband still maintains I’m selfish for considering asking them to move it, that I should let them go and enjoy it and that I’m just jealous 🙄

Our eldest is almost 20 and says he understands totally if we need to move it, youngest is 12 so haven’t discussed it yet.

Ive been told I won’t be able to stay alone once home, as having an op in the coming days and won’t be able to lift anything heavier than a kettle and we live in a 3 storey house so logistics of caring for myself would be a nightmare. Husbands suggestion, just tell hospital they will be home and they go anyway and I ask a friend to pop in each day 🙄 We don’t have any family as we each lost our surviving parent earlier this year, another reason this was so looked forward to, partly paid for as inheritance and also just to have a break from the shit year we’ve had.

To be fair it’s not the first time he’s acted like this, when I had a miscarriage many years ago he still went away with his friends for a week 3 days after it happened as “there wasn’t anything he could do anyway”.

So I reckon they will go regardless of what I want.

Just read your update, he’s totally U.

Original poster

HealthConcerns24 · 28/07/2026 17:32

@ChickenBananaBananai was young at the time, only 22 and didn’t think any better. His mum agreed at the time that it would do him good “to get away from it all” and the fact I was still in hospital at the time after a significant blood loss and infection meant “I didn’t need him home to care for me” 🙄

OP posts:

DisforDarkChocolate · 28/07/2026 17:30

It doesn't sound like you'll be well enough to be home alone, not that he cares.

Ineffable23 · 28/07/2026 17:30

I think that your travel insurance should cover the flights. Mine would certainly.

allthingsinmoderation · 28/07/2026 17:29

Im sorry to hear you are unwell.
As for the holiday,depends on many factors ,can you change the dates ie:postpone until you are well and not lose your money? If so,that would be my choice. If not and the money would be lost i would want my family to go if at all possible. It would though depend on how unwell you are and what support you had around you.
This happened to me twice . First time i broke my ankle badly and the holiday was non refundable so my husband went with kids and family helped me,it was sad but think it was the right thing to do.
Second time ,my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer out of a clear blue sky and he needed to start treatment asap, holiday was moveable with insurance ,we wouldn't have gone even if it wasnt due to the shock and seriousness.

ChickenBananaBanana · 28/07/2026 17:29

Why did you stay with him after the miscarriage incident op?

Schoolchoicesucks · 28/07/2026 17:29

Just read your update. I'm sorry, OP, he's being an arsehole.

ChessieFL · 28/07/2026 17:29

He’s a peach isn’t he?!