AIBU to want my own bedroom after years of sharing?

I am flabbergasted by the fact that everyone craves so much personal space while living in a family home! And I realise I am seriously in the minority on this thread. For those of you who had multiple children, how did you cope with the little ones being WITH you and ON you all the time when they were little? Or is it mainly the DHs who invade the personal space and peace?

I read that people started sharing beds due to lack of space - ie most people couldn’t afford houses where everyone had their own bedroom. Even when kids were born they’d sleep with the parents due to lack of space. If you remember in Charlie and the chocolate factory, all 4 grandparents shared a bed 🤣. Only aristocrats and royalty could and they do sleep in separate bedrooms. Dont know how true that is.

I can honestly say that since my H left in April having the bedroom to myself is absolutely bliss! I can go to bed when I want, read as late as I want, set the alarm for whatever time, no grumpy sighing and miserable face to endure. Don't think I'll ever share my bedroom again (well I do share but it's with my dog who i would choose over any man!)

It was for my parents too. They just started having more and more separate lives. Until my mum met someone else. She said she felt married but not married. She left. It didn’t actually work out with the new guy. Her and my dad remained good friends although divorced.

But even though I occasionally like to retreat to the spare room if I can’t sleep, I love sleep next to my husband. He’s very well trained though, turns over in his sleep when asked if he’s snoring!

I’ve been sleeping in the spare room during the hot weather because I like to leave the fan on overnight and my husband can’t sleep with it running.
It’s bliss.

Not the shartner! 💀

Where did we ever get the idea that we need to sleep with another human ? I know African hunting dogs love to sleep together but really with humans , I don't get it .
I know people like affection/ sex etc . but after that one needs one's own space .
Separate beds for everyone in my opinion . Sleeping is private .
No matter how much you love someone you don't need to spend overnight with them . Who needs someone breathing/ snoring on you ???

The day my DSD went to uni happened to coincide with us doing up her room in so I moved beds the night it was done and apart from holidays have slept in my on room since. In this house, he has moved to the granny flat downstairs to watch sport in peace and sleep. Fucking marvellous.

Men are such needy creatures aren't they? I generally sleep ok sharing a bed, but when Im going through a spell of restless legs the stress of keeping still so as not to disturb him is very unpleasant - so if it goes on too long I do creep out to dds old room. I fear if I had my own room I would read till too late at night....

More often though it's dh who leaves, either because of my snoring or just because he can't sleep and wants to read.

What I really crave though is my own (absolutely entirely my own) bathroom, so I can do any bathroom related task without having to wait for anyone else to finish/for the air to clear....

😭😭😭😭😭

I'm old and married straight from my parents' house. That means I have never had my own room as I shared a with my sister and then with my husband for 40+ years!

after my boyfriend sharted on my leg in bed one night, i feel the same way

Omg I love our vispring mattress 🙌

I can understand why this is hard to untangle. Unfortunately the ‘solution’ to your problem will feel (in part because it is) a withdrawal from the relationship. I would suggest being honest with him about why you feel like you need your own space. It may still be difficult but it might also be a good opportunity to discuss some deeper relationship issues, which might hopefully improve things too.

We have a joint bedroom plus my bedroom. Husband sleeps in the joint bedroom as he needs the en-suite several times a night. We were keeping each other awake and when we decided that I would have my own bedroom, I went out and bought a lovely comfortable double bed (vi spring). It is bliss but I do pop in in the morning to have coffee in bed with him. We only share on holiday when we have a huge bed.

I am moving my daughter into her uni houseshare on Saturday and the first thing I am doing when I get home is putting fresh linen on her bed and moving into her room.

I have been soft launching it for a few months when dd has slept over at her boyfriends just so DH gets used to the idea but I have had enough. He snores like a train and I have been taking nytol or melatonin to have any hope of sleeping FOR YEARS. Even then I end up on the sofa by about 3am at least half of the week.

I will be sad for her to go but I am looking forward to my own space!

I think my dh would be quite upset, but luckily he’s away at least two nights most weeks for work, so I feel like I get the best of both worlds.

My dh sleeps like a rock so i can do all those things while he snores.
I would love two single beds with zipped together for extra room.
Two duvets help

I decamp to the spare room on a regular basis. Husband works odd hours, I like to read which I cant do in our room. And I like to wake up with the light - our room is blacked out due to OHs odd hours.

Love my own space, and we both sleep better for it. I move back in to the shared bed every so often, to keep him happy 🤣

This!

I had my own room for 6 years as my DH snored. When he finally got a cpap machine 2 years ago I moved back in. We did get a super king bed though and I put a barrier of tall pillows between us to block out noise/light as he stays up looking at his phone. I do prefer to be in the same room as him though and it has worked out ok. A big bed definitely helps a lot.

I moved into the spare room after an operation that I needed to be on the bottom floor for afterwards as I couldn't walk the stairs. He got used to it and I sleep most nights in there now and my 'stuff' slowly followed....he sulked a bit at first, but now admits to actually enjoying his own space too and we both sleep better. As long as we still have our intimate times together, sleeping separately has so far not been an issue.

Maybe sell it to your husband by telling him that he can visit you in the room between the hours of 5 to 7 (5 to 5.30 if the book you are reading is really good). Tell him to ask for Claudine on Monday.s & Thursdays, Lola on Tuesdays, and Rachel Reeves on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays but that those days will hurt his wallet considerably... Also explain that due to the increase in tax & NI contributions you can't afford to be anyone on Sundays.