Do you do this?

No, they’re for the couple.

I would sent a big for a big anniversary. But definitely not every year!

I don’t send anniversary cards. It’s for the couple to celebrate and not me. I know it was common to do, but have you seen the price of cards and stamps nowadays!

I've grown up with parents who only give cards to each other on their wedding anniversaries, and no expectation or desire to get them from anyone else. In fact I have no idea when their anniversary is! I'm not married, but imagine I'd be the same about my own.

When DGM was alive she would send a card, and 9/10 it would remind them that they both forgotten.

Because of this I find the insistence of people that other people celebrate each year of their marriage quite odd. The closest other celebration to my parent's attitude to a wedding anniversary is valentines day, something just between the couple.

I also find it intriguing when parents expect anniversary cards from their DC, who weren't even born when the wedding happened. At what age did the expectation start? Did each parent buy cards from the DC for the other parent like a fathers/mothers day card?

Absolutely not, anniversaries are for the couple alone to celebrate. We got some cards on the first anniversary which I can understand, but none after that and we don’t send to anyone else! Special ones like 40/50 would be different. I might want some fuss from our kids then ha.

Perhaps she just wants an excuse for you all to get together? We don’t celebrate with our DC just as a couple really.

We barely celebrate our own let alone expect others to do it!

I do have an aunty that I have to remember to message on their anniversary as otherwise she is very hurt.

I don't even know the exact date of my parents' anniversary, just the month, it's never been a big thing in our family. I don't expect anyone to make a big thing of our anniversary either although the in-laws will sometimes send a card.

In my family the tradition was always giving a card for a couples wedding anniversary , provided you remembered.
And the couple themselves would exchange cards and small gifts.
The bigger wedding anniversaries were given more of a celebration.

I do think this is probably more of a generational thing , more important in a time when marriages actually lasted and were expected to. Personaly I've got one set of friends who have been married 53 years and I find that actually amazing and definitely an exception these days.

I married into a family that were much the same. The card/fuss scenario was used as scaffolding for the close and loving family illusion.

Never had I met such a bunch of money mad self centred narcissists.

I think it’s a generation thing. My parents do this but we wouldn’t bother. I send them a card because I know it’s expected, but wouldn’t get dh one for ours.
cards generally I see for the older generation, esp spending hours poring over the verse inside.

It's weird in my opinion. I understand making a fuss of your parents big anniversaries but not every single year. If they invite you every year to celebrate and they host or pay for a meal then it's only fair they get a card.

People vary:
Couple & DC because our lovely family is the outcome of the wedding;
Couple & people who were at the wedding to share our memories;
Couple only because we're the ones who married each other that day;
Nobody because who has time to rehash the past?

Join in if you want to. Don't if you don't!