Do you do this?

It is a tradition that if you went to the wedding, you send one on the first anniversary.

After that it is the couple themselves, and maybe their parents who "bother". It is nice if the kids acknowledge the big ones, 25, 40, 50...

My kids at uni surprised us last year with drinks and dinner in central London with them for our silver wedding anniversary. We have never expected anything from them. I was v touched though!

My ex MIL expected a fuss on their anniversary even after they got divorced…. Kid you not.

This logic of 'you dont owe anyone anything' is going to cause a crazy loneliness epidemic, honestly

I don't getcthis thinking either an adult closest to have a child and that chile has to be grateful for that choice?

Yes my Mum wants this every year as well. We have to do a card, flowers, a special meal. It’s not like I was there! I don’t get it either, we don’t really celebrate ours but it keeps her happy and it’s not forever.

Just do this small thing for your mother, who raised you, its no biggie

I don’t know anyone’s anniversary except my own and my best friends (because I was there).

I think it’s just one of those things that some people (families?) do, and some don’t. My family, anniversaries are celebrated by the couple themselves, nothing outside of that other than maybe a quick ‘happy anniversary’ if you’re seeing them on the day. My husband’s family do cards and flowers for everyone’s anniversary, it’s bizarre to me but quite sweet really. This post has actually reminded me I’ve cards to open from h’s side for our recent anniversary.. and texts to send to thank the various senders!

I'm curious if they get you and DH a card and make a fuss?

I don't expect either a card or a fuss from my (adult) children. DH and I generally go out for a meal and if the kids are around they are invited too (we pay).

My mother used to expect me and DSis to make a big fuss of her and our dad’s anniversary with cards and gifts and would get in a massive huff if we didn’t. She was a narcissist.

my mum expects a card and a fuss every year
That's not an unreasonable expectation to have - of your SPOUSE. But, it's completely ridiculous and unreasonable to expect anything from people who are not part of your marriage. Why on EARTH is it my responsibility to organise somebody else's wedding anniversary? Not my marriage, not my anniversary, not my responsibility to organise.

I get married couples celebrating their own anniversary but no i dont get celebrating other peoples anniversary unless the married couple invite guests to their own event i will happily go to that

No. I send no cards or gifts for birthdays or anniversaries.

Yeah weirdly after I got married. My mother expected me to start sending cards for her and my fathers anniversary. (My mums usually dead laid back). I told her no Im not doing that. She got my dad the next year to 'remind' me. Again told them nope. Think went on for 3rd year and told her no Iv never sent you one and Im not starting now. Then she let it go

Its weird. Why would I send my parenrs a card when inwasntnat their wedding. The only person I expect to celebrate my anniversary is my husband

DH and I recently had an anniversary, not a milestone one, and we exchanged cards and he bought me a bunch of flowers. Adult DC will usually get us a card but even they forgot this year.

Neither of us are bothered about a fuss on our anniversary, and this year we might have gone out for a meal, but a much-loved pet died the day before so we didn't feel like it.🙁

Tbh I prefer the older traditions of honouring annual milestones, over current fashion of ‘ making memories’ and people photographing everything.

My parents married each other twice, so goodness only knows when I would be expected to send a card and I don't think either of them remember the date of the second wedding! I am also in the 'anniversaries are for the couple' camp - if there is an event attached, such as a milestone party, then a card/gift is a nice gesture if you attend, but not for everyday anniversaries.

I always get them a card and some flowers (not expensive, maybe a tenner) We often go for a meal around the date too which Dad usually pays for 😳 tbh any excuse for a celebration and family catch up in my eyes. This year was their 50th anniversary so I arranged and paid for an extended family surprise afternoon tea. I’m very lucky that they have had such a long, stable loving marriage and I have benefitted greatly through my life from that so I feel it’s something to celebrate.

No, I think anniversaries are just for the couple most years.

Although that has changed (I am 54) - I did send cards up to about 15 years ago for siblings and parents and the odd friend who did the same as that is what I thought you did. We have a family member who insists of hand delivering us a gift every single year along with a card (on the day) which very quickly became irritating and intrusive (part of a wider MO) so I rethought the whole thing.

I’m still fairly traditional in that I keep with:
1st year if you went to the wedding or very close
10/25/40 and then every 5 years after that if very close family/friends who also sent cards for these types of occasions.
We paid for parents 50th celebration along with siblings and made a big deal of that. Then nothing until 55th when we got them a ‘special’ card. 60th was a card and a gift. And so on…Make sure they get the card from the monarch on eligible ones.

I am 59. Maybe it is generational.

Once I started working I always bought my parents a card and a small gift (bigger gift for the land mark anniversaries) like a box of “posh” chocolates. I often made them a cake too. But that’s because I like baking.

I threw a party for my parents for their silver wedding and for their golden wedding. I think I took them out for dinner for their ruby wedding. The former was quite a big deal as I was relatively young still at only 24. They were lovely family events and I treasure the memories.

I did also send a card each year to one aunt and uncle to whom I was particularly close (my mother’s sister and her husband) as their anniversary was just a few days after my parents’ anniversary. None of this was “expected” though. No pressure at all. I just enjoyed doing it. And after my lovely mum died I found lots of the cards I had sent her/them over the years carefully stored away. So it made me feel pleased that I had done it. She obviously appreciated them.

My own children (young adults and teen) do not “do” our anniversary (although they get us lovely birthday and Christmas presents). That’s fine too. The 3 of them did paint us (collectively) a modern art piece for our silver wedding anniversary 5 years ago. That was wonderful. They are all talented artists and it’s the most wonderful present and on display in our hallway.

It’s nice to do thoughtful, caring things for other people. What’s less nice is “performance” giving and when it all becomes high pressure.

I didn’t unless it was a big date 25, 40.50. I never expect a card of anyone except my husband, the marriage is between us.
i will take our children and partners out for a meal to celebrate our next big one 40.

I’d give a card and gift for a milestone (ie their 50th a couple of years ago) but that’s it. Mostly I mocked them each year and said can’t believe you are still married.