DH trying to force oral

You may not want to leave, but genuinely I don’t know how you will let him near you after that, your history is irrelevant in this instance. It is disgusting, and degrading.

I think it's absolutely crystal clear to everyone on this thread that the non-consensual factor is wrong and I stated that in my post as well.

It's the deliberate blurring of boundaries that some posters are doing which makes the husband sound like a perverted deviant for expecting it in first place. It's been dragged as an act only done in p0rn and the crude formulation painted as vomit-inducing. (Context always matters in the bedroom and there isn't such a thing as too crude talk depending on which roles each sexual partner chooses to consensually take on).

It's obvious that lots of women don't enjoy the act and are using this situation as a moral crutch to prove how righteously prude they are by painting all men as pigs who dare to ask for oral.

I really think that a lot of men just truly don't understand the enormity of this sort of thing. They think it's not a big deal to them, just a quick small action to fulfil a desire, and they truly don't have the slightest fucking clue what it's like to be a woman, in our world, with a man getting his dick up in your face and whinging like it's a service you provide as opposed to an intimate act for mutual pleasure. If nothing else, you'd think they'd care about what a turnoff it is? Don't they want their partners to enjoy it and want more?

I can't understand it. They live on another planet.

Normal relations in the real world do not use coercion to force what they want sexually.

You don't need to justify your disgust and revulsion by saying you were a victim of SA. You just need to say 'I am not a pervert', or 'oral sex is usually for dogs'.

We should step back for a second from our current glamorisation of perversion in all shapes and forms - and ask questions - 'hang on, why did Demi Moore said in that film 'suck my dick' to her enemy'? What is it an insult to call somebody a 'cock sucker'? etc. etc. Maybe then people will realise that is perversion and what is not?

@PrizedPickledPopcorn I think men forget the weight of experience between the sexes, that women have probably been sexually assaulted in some way, that men are physically more powerful. If he were straddled by a kiwi rugby player, saying go on have a little suck, he’d get a better idea of why it isn’t playful.

That's not an accurate comparison because being straddled by a kiwi rugby player would be a gay act being imposed on a straight man.

A more accurate comparison would be being straddled by a strong female body builder.

But these comparisons are irrelevant regardless, as I don't think it's necessarily a case of trying to get men to understand how women see things. I think men are biologically wired to see sex in a different way to women. So rather than trying to understand, I think it's just a case of listening and accepting of what women are saying. So if a woman explains why she doesn't like being straddled like that, then the key thing is to just listen and accept it. It doesn't need to be understood, the only important point is that she doesn't like it.

Op he’s vile I honestly think men think they can coax us in to doing what they want I’m not sure if there brain is saying she wants to she’s just playing hard to get. I would also say next time you first if he says no not into it just reply back ditto. I will do it when you do it otherwise it’s off the menu.
I was once with a guy who took no for no and would have sex with me especially in the early hours and it wasn’t until a few years ago I realised what he was doing.

Relevance?

I have never known a man who doesn't like giving OR receiving... I didn't think they existed. 😝

I think 99% of women like receiving it

No one should be 'expecting' anything @User867536. I know men who don't like giving oral - are they still entitled to expect it anyway? Are their wives entitled to expect it even though they don't like it? Or is it just women who should 'suck' it up? This wasn't even consensual so your point is nonsense anyway.

Grim OP, this is just horrible. I just couldn't bring myself to have sex with someone who made me feel like an object.

Well if he doesn’t get fully hard from the thought of sex then obviously something is wrong with him

Guy tries to thrust his dick in his wife's face after she's said no, and you're shocked that some women don't like oral and think they're prudes.

Perhaps a little lesson in priorities for you, sir?

But I just feel disrespected, and a bit upset by it,

you were disrespected, you should be more than a little upset by it, it's unacceptable.

And please do not find excuse for him, and don't think for a second that it's "men thinking women are just objects to satisfy them". Normal men don't. Normal men respect their partner. He can't play some weird "man card" to justify anything.

It has nothing to do with him being a man, all to do with him being an arse.

This ^

Eugh men are so gross

Well thats out of order then. What reason did he give that he didn’t want to go down on you?

No one has villainised the man for wanting oral sex, it's the fact that he was told no and carried on trying to force his wife into doing something she didn't want to do.

Big difference.

did he go down on you?

Only if it’s reciprocated. 😉 I’m not doing his only.

But OP still has the absolute right to say no.

Good point, very well made!

Oral is a perfectly normal part of a healthy sex life. The vast majority, if not every single man, will probably wish to have that as part of their marriage. It's hardly a fetish or some other sort of deviant activity that tends to be glorified in p0rn.

Obviously this does not apply to OP due to a specific history of SA and her husband is a twat for trying to force it. But I'm quite shocked at the prudeness in this thread as if men should be villainised for expecting consensual oral in first place.