DH trying to force oral

Ok before I write this I know there will be a lot of leave him comments but this isn’t why I’m writing it I just needed to rant! We have a lot of other things going on at the moment which would make leaving impossible currently. It’s something to think about down the line.

So me and DH were having some ‘us time’ the other night which is very rare (few times a year) due to DCs health needs and that taking up lots of our time. I was already not really in the mood due to him asking in a vulgar way (“do you want to Fxxx”) but just let that slide. He then gets on top and whilst he’s on his knees and I’m lying down he kind of shuffles up the bed and says “oh just a little suck first” I said no and tried to pull him back down to kiss etc, he then kept saying just go on only a little bit and kept laughing and trying to get his penis closer to my face. At this point I had said no twice, I then sat up, pushed him back and very forcefully said “I said no!” . He then acted like it hadn’t happened and we carried on.

not that it matters but I’m a survivor of child SA and so I can get triggered easily by things like this. I just think why do men feel like women would want to do this all the time, like it’s their right to make us? I’m sick of men thinking women are just objects to satisfy them. How would he feel if I’d done the same thing demanding oral when he said no?

like I said this isn’t about leaving as that isn’t currently possible, it’s just a rant about how men think that women can just be used!

Have you told him that it might work both ways? I voted YABU because you are putting up with his repetitive behaviour that you don’t like, you even say leaving him is something to think about down the line, why put it off?

You don't need to justify your disgust and revulsion by saying you were a victim of SA. You just need to say 'I am not a pervert', or 'oral sex is usually for dogs'.

We should step back for a second from our current glamorisation of perversion in all shapes and forms - and ask questions - 'hang on, why did Demi Moore said in that film 'suck my dick' to her enemy'? What is it an insult to call somebody a 'cock sucker'? etc. etc. Maybe then people will realise that is perversion and what is not?

She is fully entitled to her view

Oral is a perfectly normal part of a healthy sex life. The vast majority, if not every single man, will probably wish to have that as part of their marriage. It's hardly a fetish or some other sort of deviant activity that tends to be glorified in p0rn.

Obviously this does not apply to OP due to a specific history of SA and her husband is a twat for trying to force it. But I'm quite shocked at the prudeness in this thread as if men should be villainised for expecting consensual oral in first place.

She is fully entitled to her view

“I’m sick of men thinking women are just objects to satisfy them” is not a normal thing to say in relation to your actual husband sorry.

Do you think oral sex (male and female) is perverse?

You don't need to justify your disgust and revulsion by saying you were a victim of SA. You just need to say 'I am not a pervert', or 'oral sex is usually for dogs'.

We should step back for a second from our current glamorisation of perversion in all shapes and forms - and ask questions - 'hang on, why did Demi Moore said in that film 'suck my dick' to her enemy'? What is it an insult to call somebody a 'cock sucker'? etc. etc. Maybe then people will realise that is perversion and what is not?

And whatever happened to men actually trying to seduce a woman instead of just saying Fancy a fuck

I think it's absolutely crystal clear to everyone on this thread that the non-consensual factor is wrong and I stated that in my post as well.

It's the deliberate blurring of boundaries that some posters are doing which makes the husband sound like a perverted deviant for expecting it in first place. It's been dragged as an act only done in p0rn and the crude formulation painted as vomit-inducing. (Context always matters in the bedroom and there isn't such a thing as too crude talk depending on which roles each sexual partner chooses to consensually take on).

It's obvious that lots of women don't enjoy the act and are using this situation as a moral crutch to prove how righteously prude they are by painting all men as pigs who dare to ask for oral.

It wasn’t mentioned to be honest as he never has been in to anything like that. He always says he needs oral to help him get fully hard but doesn’t think it might work both ways!

I think it's absolutely crystal clear to everyone on this thread that the non-consensual factor is wrong and I stated that in my post as well.

It's the deliberate blurring of boundaries that some posters are doing which makes the husband sound like a perverted deviant for expecting it in first place. It's been dragged as an act only done in p0rn and the crude formulation painted as vomit-inducing. (Context always matters in the bedroom and there isn't such a thing as too crude talk depending on which roles each sexual partner chooses to consensually take on).

It's obvious that lots of women don't enjoy the act and are using this situation as a moral crutch to prove how righteously prude they are by painting all men as pigs who dare to ask for oral.

You don't need to justify your disgust and revulsion by saying you were a victim of SA. You just need to say 'I am not a pervert', or 'oral sex is usually for dogs'.

We should step back for a second from our current glamorisation of perversion in all shapes and forms - and ask questions - 'hang on, why did Demi Moore said in that film 'suck my dick' to her enemy'? What is it an insult to call somebody a 'cock sucker'? etc. etc. Maybe then people will realise that is perversion and what is not?

I think it's absolutely crystal clear to everyone on this thread that the non-consensual factor is wrong and I stated that in my post as well.

It's the deliberate blurring of boundaries that some posters are doing which makes the husband sound like a perverted deviant for expecting it in first place. It's been dragged as an act only done in p0rn and the crude formulation painted as vomit-inducing. (Context always matters in the bedroom and there isn't such a thing as too crude talk depending on which roles each sexual partner chooses to consensually take on).

It's obvious that lots of women don't enjoy the act and are using this situation as a moral crutch to prove how righteously prude they are by painting all men as pigs who dare to ask for oral.

I think it's absolutely crystal clear to everyone on this thread that the non-consensual factor is wrong and I stated that in my post as well.

It's the deliberate blurring of boundaries that some posters are doing which makes the husband sound like a perverted deviant for expecting it in first place. It's been dragged as an act only done in p0rn and the crude formulation painted as vomit-inducing. (Context always matters in the bedroom and there isn't such a thing as too crude talk depending on which roles each sexual partner chooses to consensually take on).

It's obvious that lots of women don't enjoy the act and are using this situation as a moral crutch to prove how righteously prude they are by painting all men as pigs who dare to ask for oral.

Oral is a perfectly normal part of a healthy sex life. The vast majority, if not every single man, will probably wish to have that as part of their marriage. It's hardly a fetish or some other sort of deviant activity that tends to be glorified in p0rn.

Obviously this does not apply to OP due to a specific history of SA and her husband is a twat for trying to force it. But I'm quite shocked at the prudeness in this thread as if men should be villainised for expecting consensual oral in first place.