DH trying to force oral

This, exactly.

It's interesting you mention religion as the pp you quote says on a recent thread that she's converting to Catholicism (though in a post from the same month she claims to be an atheist, oddly), which might explain some of her views in that post.

Catholicism doesn't advocate women being pressured into sex, AFAIK, but sometimes people who convert become more hardline than average adherents.

You know, a lot of this post is quite toxic for women. Sex is not something to be ashamed of—when I got married, the vicar blessed us (in front of everyone, as part of the ceremony) and prayed for us to have a great sex life together, as sex is a gift from God.

The Orgasm Gap is real—an overwhelming majority of women cannot orgasm from intercourse, and the most reliable way for large numbers of women to reliably orgasm is from oral sex. No “brainwashing” about it. You’re giving incel vibes. Women can do what feels good to them, and can set their own boundaries—for me, my boundaries are around the CourtesyWash™️ and ejaculation. I will not feel your shame about what I do in my marriage to close the Orgasm Gap between men and women, and it is very toxic for you to try to shame women.

As far as OP goes, her DH is toxic and doesn’t care about the Orgasm Gap, and most of us in this thread have confirmed that we would not indulge in his requests.

Agreed. What OP has experienced is pretty standard. All these LIBERAL MINDED WOMEN who believe consent is the be all and end all of sexual relationships live in cloud cuckoo land. Consent is simply not a stand alone workable solution in the real world! Their insistence at her leaving her partner even though she’s explained that isn’t part of the situation she finds herself in is very telling - an inability to use their imagination or curiosity outside of their own narrow world view. Normal women negotiate and get by; often indulging their partners with oral sex that they’d far rather not be practising. This normalisation of oral sex also makes me laugh. I sincerely believe many women have been steadily brainwashed by their culture that this is a perfectly normal, even essential part of a relationship - probably only come into effect in the last thirty years or so. I rarely ever comment on MN but felt compelled to offer some balance to the self righteous “advice” offered by so many of the ugly comments here.

Not all men think women are objects to satisfy them.
Decent men find mutual pleasure the most satisfying and would not push a woman to do anything she doesn’t want to do. This may vary depending on her mood the same as his preferences depend on his mood.
Mutual respect seems to be missing from his ideal.

Men? You can see them littered on here justifying their entitlement..

Why do you keep using TV shows as examples?
I wouldn't take Tony Soprano's life advice on anything...

I'm obviously missing something as from what OP describes there wasn't really any forcing involved... perhaps a little too pushy and enthusiastic in the heat of the moment, but nothing that an honest conversation with her DH about her feelings could not resolve. It also seems that her previous experience of SA may be clouding how she feels about this. I just can't really understand the massive hysteria of women on this thread equating her DH to some kind of bestial rapist. I feel like I must live on a completely different planet to most of you, if you are really serious about how you view this incident and not just ramping it up for MN.

What the actual fuck have I just read????

I have to say I’m really surprised by some of the responses here, Dh and I can be a bit enthusiastic (I swear I got groin strain once). He has never ever been “pushy” or demanded anything from me. Checking in with each other that we are both fine with everything is normal isn’t it? Not signing a permission slip but just a “er thats no working, are you ok, does that feel ok? No I’m nit up for that” we’ve both decline to do some things before and thats ok. DH would freak out of he hurt me or there was any indication he violated any boundaries I have because he’d feel like a bloody rapists and he’s not a giant bastard.

What kind of awful sexual relationships are people having!? It’s not just me right?

Agreed. What OP has experienced is pretty standard. All these LIBERAL MINDED WOMEN who believe consent is the be all and end all of sexual relationships live in cloud cuckoo land. Consent is simply not a stand alone workable solution in the real world! Their insistence at her leaving her partner even though she’s explained that isn’t part of the situation she finds herself in is very telling - an inability to use their imagination or curiosity outside of their own narrow world view. Normal women negotiate and get by; often indulging their partners with oral sex that they’d far rather not be practising. This normalisation of oral sex also makes me laugh. I sincerely believe many women have been steadily brainwashed by their culture that this is a perfectly normal, even essential part of a relationship - probably only come into effect in the last thirty years or so. I rarely ever comment on MN but felt compelled to offer some balance to the self righteous “advice” offered by so many of the ugly comments here.

@Bringemouthonestly I don’t know how I feel. It’s completely different to the situation when I was a child as I didn’t feel a loss of control, I knew if he tried to push it anymore I would have been able to push him off etc and I honestly don’t think he would have gone any further. But I just feel disrespected, and a bit upset by it, I said no and that should have been enough. There was a second where it felt overpowering with him being on top and I didn’t like being put in that position. But then I feel silly talking to him about it because I know it was minor compared to other things he could have done.

What the actual fuck have I just read????

Agreed. What OP has experienced is pretty standard. All these LIBERAL MINDED WOMEN who believe consent is the be all and end all of sexual relationships live in cloud cuckoo land. Consent is simply not a stand alone workable solution in the real world! Their insistence at her leaving her partner even though she’s explained that isn’t part of the situation she finds herself in is very telling - an inability to use their imagination or curiosity outside of their own narrow world view. Normal women negotiate and get by; often indulging their partners with oral sex that they’d far rather not be practising. This normalisation of oral sex also makes me laugh. I sincerely believe many women have been steadily brainwashed by their culture that this is a perfectly normal, even essential part of a relationship - probably only come into effect in the last thirty years or so. I rarely ever comment on MN but felt compelled to offer some balance to the self righteous “advice” offered by so many of the ugly comments here.

Oral is a perfectly normal part of a healthy sex life. The vast majority, if not every single man, will probably wish to have that as part of their marriage. It's hardly a fetish or some other sort of deviant activity that tends to be glorified in p0rn.

Obviously this does not apply to OP due to a specific history of SA and her husband is a twat for trying to force it. But I'm quite shocked at the prudeness in this thread as if men should be villainised for expecting consensual oral in first place.

Agreed. What OP has experienced is pretty standard. All these LIBERAL MINDED WOMEN who believe consent is the be all and end all of sexual relationships live in cloud cuckoo land. Consent is simply not a stand alone workable solution in the real world! Their insistence at her leaving her partner even though she’s explained that isn’t part of the situation she finds herself in is very telling - an inability to use their imagination or curiosity outside of their own narrow world view. Normal women negotiate and get by; often indulging their partners with oral sex that they’d far rather not be practising. This normalisation of oral sex also makes me laugh. I sincerely believe many women have been steadily brainwashed by their culture that this is a perfectly normal, even essential part of a relationship - probably only come into effect in the last thirty years or so. I rarely ever comment on MN but felt compelled to offer some balance to the self righteous “advice” offered by so many of the ugly comments here.

I'm obviously missing something as from what OP describes there wasn't really any forcing involved... perhaps a little too pushy and enthusiastic in the heat of the moment, but nothing that an honest conversation with her DH about her feelings could not resolve. It also seems that her previous experience of SA may be clouding how she feels about this. I just can't really understand the massive hysteria of women on this thread equating her DH to some kind of bestial rapist. I feel like I must live on a completely different planet to most of you, if you are really serious about how you view this incident and not just ramping it up for MN.

Oral is a perfectly normal part of a healthy sex life. The vast majority, if not every single man, will probably wish to have that as part of their marriage. It's hardly a fetish or some other sort of deviant activity that tends to be glorified in p0rn.

Obviously this does not apply to OP due to a specific history of SA and her husband is a twat for trying to force it. But I'm quite shocked at the prudeness in this thread as if men should be villainised for expecting consensual oral in first place.

pushed me down on the kitchen floor and shoved his bits and bobs right in my face so I couldn't see anything or hardly breathe and wouldn't take no for an answer. He thought it was funny but it was extremely annoying and disrespectful at the time.

WTF have I just read?