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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

512 replies

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

OP posts:
Original poster
sweeel · 29/07/2026 16:05

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 16:04

Glad you see sense OP. It takes one unpleasant experience to shatter a 17 yr old’s self confidence.

Thank you! I understand bad situations can happen at any time regardless, but I don't understand why it's a bad thing to do all you can to prevent these situations occurring. Yes I won't always be there but if I am there, I will be showing up. No one can deny that she is far more safe in my car than she ever would be on a bus or a taxi alone at night.

OP posts:
Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 16:04

Glad you see sense OP. It takes one unpleasant experience to shatter a 17 yr old’s self confidence.

Original poster
sweeel · 29/07/2026 16:01

dh280125 · 29/07/2026 13:55

Put her on the bus! C'mon. 17!!!

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Tbh the bus route to home would be 2 hours and 18 minutes. She'd have to walk to the first bus stop about 10 mins away, take two buses, then walk 30 mins home. That's hardly feasible when I'm available to get her, and it's a 25 minute drive at night.

And I'm not putting my teen daughter into a taxi at 12am alone tbh, I don't know how people are not seeing that as risky. maybe I'm paranoid and it's not like it's a complete no if I'm ever not available she can go for it but I'm clearly available so why would I not get her?? Also taxis are expensive.

OP posts:
Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 15:58

VestibuleWeaver · 29/07/2026 15:44

In Scotland, 17 year old girls (and boys) can attend university. Are you suggesting they should not be taking public transport or taxis late at night?

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Yeah, I think it’s best avoided. Even if bus is ok, it’s the walking to/from bus stop.

GrilledSandwich384 · 29/07/2026 15:53

The Edinburgh rape thing made me feel sick..I can understand why OP is worried.

VestibuleWeaver · 29/07/2026 15:44

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 14:33

Pick her up, but definitely no taxi/bus at midnight. Can’t believe people are recommending this for a 17 year old girl.

In Scotland, 17 year old girls (and boys) can attend university. Are you suggesting they should not be taking public transport or taxis late at night?

Peonies12 · 29/07/2026 15:23

Isthismykarma · 29/07/2026 15:21

I’m in my 20s so not old or barely of a different generation.
At 17 we were going to festivals, clubbing, planning girls holidays, and our part time jobs often didn’t finish until gone midnight - have norms changed so much so quickly?

I know, same here I went to Glastonbury when I had just turned 18, went travelling round europe with friends that summer, for a few years before that I'd worked evening shifts at a hotel and got myself home (cannot remember how!). Seems like parents are way more overprotective now, I feel sorry for the current teens to not have their freedom.

Isthismykarma · 29/07/2026 15:21

I’m in my 20s so not old or barely of a different generation.
At 17 we were going to festivals, clubbing, planning girls holidays, and our part time jobs often didn’t finish until gone midnight - have norms changed so much so quickly?

Pinkchickenwine · 29/07/2026 15:09

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 15:07

I suggested the mother pick her up as she’s 17…

Until what age? When would you deem it ok to travel alone? 18 (which presumably is a few months time?), older? Why would being 22 not 17 be safer? Why would a 17 year old not be learning to be street wise?

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 15:07

I suggested the mother pick her up as she’s 17…

Pinkchickenwine · 29/07/2026 15:06

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 14:36

Do people not read the news? The other day a man was sentenced for raping a 15 year old in Edinburgh city centre in the early hours. She had been at a bus stop.

So what’s your suggestion? No one is ever alone on public?

Timeforachange26 · 29/07/2026 14:48

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 14:36

Do people not read the news? The other day a man was sentenced for raping a 15 year old in Edinburgh city centre in the early hours. She had been at a bus stop.

So less likely to happen if sh had been in a taxi. There's always some bad people about. She could've been 25 or 35 and the same thing happen

Bobajobob · 29/07/2026 14:46

I often wonder what people like this were doing when they were 17. We were regularly out clubbing until 2am, also went backpacking round Europe with a friend at that age.

My only concern with this would be going to get her!

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 14:36

Do people not read the news? The other day a man was sentenced for raping a 15 year old in Edinburgh city centre in the early hours. She had been at a bus stop.

Whatevergoes2025 · 29/07/2026 14:33

Pick her up, but definitely no taxi/bus at midnight. Can’t believe people are recommending this for a 17 year old girl.

SunnyRR · 29/07/2026 14:28

DisplayPurposesOnly · 27/07/2026 15:56

The only issue i see here is you going at nearly midnight to pick her up. I can see that might not appeal. If you are OK with it, then I dont see the problem.

This.

She’s 17 and going to the cinema for goodness sake. The only issue is whether you’re prepared to collect her- it would be a no from me but I’d be happy for my 17 year old to get an uber home.

dh280125 · 29/07/2026 13:55

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:57

Okay thank you! Did just need reassurance it was fine I realise I'm being a bit dramatic.

Don't have an issue going to collect her, a little annoying but that's fine by me, and I'd much rather get her than her take a taxi or bus late at night or something which I do think is a bit more dangerous

Put her on the bus! C'mon. 17!!!

Shinyhappyapple · 29/07/2026 12:32

Timeforachange26 · 29/07/2026 07:47

How exactly have " times changed".

Apart from the fact technology has made things much easier. No need to be lost when maps and Uber are on the phone and you can contact people easiky

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A good question actually. But children do have less freedom now and parents are more protective. I guess when I say things were different when MNers were young,that’s not necessarily true as we are all very different ages and I dare say some of the younger mums are the same age as my DC.

Original poster
sweeel · 29/07/2026 12:24

Cherrytree86 · 29/07/2026 10:54

I honestly think some mumsnetters must have such restricted limited lives…never going out especially after dark, never get public transport, never getting taxis…

like what do you do in life? Go to work, come home, go to bed?

Lol I do all of those things, never said I didn't. Just at night time I tend not to do a lot of those things alone. If I'm not taking a taxi alone at 12am, I'd prefer my teenage daughter to not do that as well

OP posts:
Original poster
sweeel · 29/07/2026 12:23

Peonies12 · 28/07/2026 20:49

Shes an adult. But you shouldn’t have to stay up that late to collect her, dont you have work tomorrow. She should stay over at her friends house.

No I'm working from home tomorrow and I have a late start so it's fine, she really can't stay over at her friend's house unfortunately

OP posts:
lilkitten · 29/07/2026 12:22

I don't think it's too late at 17, and with a friend too. Pretty sure I was clubbing before that age.

Pinkchickenwine · 29/07/2026 12:05

Cherrytree86 · 29/07/2026 10:54

I honestly think some mumsnetters must have such restricted limited lives…never going out especially after dark, never get public transport, never getting taxis…

like what do you do in life? Go to work, come home, go to bed?

And suffer social anxiety as a result!

Pinkchickenwine · 29/07/2026 12:04

Daygloboo · 29/07/2026 10:12

I used to use them all the time too. But I can honestly say that with all the things I've heard in recent years, and observed, I genuinely feel much more wary now..I was standing at a bus stop a few years ago in the sleepy village I used to work in, and a taxi pulled up and the driver rolled down the window and said " Do you want a lift into town love "?. Years ago , I might have said yes because back then taxis seemed ok. But I just remember thinking, why is he offering me a free lift into town. And I just felt that was the tip of the iceberg. He was part of the cab firm that was outside the local train station.

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And that’s your choice, however it’s still true to say that literally 1000s of taxi journeys are taken every single day without issue.

You can say all I’ve heard in recent years is bad, but how many people tell you, I took taxi ride with no issue.

Id also say that taxis are used much more in recent years, with the rise of uber and other online taxi firms.

Cherrytree86 · 29/07/2026 10:54

I honestly think some mumsnetters must have such restricted limited lives…never going out especially after dark, never get public transport, never getting taxis…

like what do you do in life? Go to work, come home, go to bed?

Daygloboo · 29/07/2026 10:12

Pinkchickenwine · 29/07/2026 09:29

The vast majority of taxis are, 1000s are used daily. Are you suggesting that people never use taxis?

Show quote history

I used to use them all the time too. But I can honestly say that with all the things I've heard in recent years, and observed, I genuinely feel much more wary now..I was standing at a bus stop a few years ago in the sleepy village I used to work in, and a taxi pulled up and the driver rolled down the window and said " Do you want a lift into town love "?. Years ago , I might have said yes because back then taxis seemed ok. But I just remember thinking, why is he offering me a free lift into town. And I just felt that was the tip of the iceberg. He was part of the cab firm that was outside the local train station.