AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

Literally one of the most ridiculous posts ever. I might suggest that for a couple of year 7/8 girls but for a 17 year old it’s a whole other level of ridiculousness

And your very paranoid and anxious in yours!

And where did I vent my views on my own freedom? If you’re going to preach and judge me, please do have the decency to get the right poster!

You carry on tagging, double tagging, ensuring you know the screen your DD is in, and whatever you do, do not let her off those reins until she’s at least 21!

Dangerous!!

I do understand your worries. But cinemas are staffed with cctv everywhere. Its a pretty safe environment. She can have her phone with her so you can track her (with consent) and even an apple air tag (with consent) for extra safety. She can message you once she is in the cinema safely, let you know which screen etc. Then meet her in the lobby after the film and get their early so you dont miss her. With a parent waiting for her is pretty safe. If she was wandering the streets at midnight on her own then yes id be really concerned. But with the set up above although it may be an anxious night for you it allows her a bit of freedom in a safe and controlled way.

It may be unacceptable to you but that doesn't mean its unacceptable to everyone else. You are being very judgemental and preachy in your comments. Im not teaching fear im teaching freedom within boundaries and using devices for safety. The suggestions I offered are in line with many parenting websites and the safetywise advice for teens:
https://www.safewise.com/lifestyle/how-to-use-your-phones-location-sharing-for-safety/

Maybe instead of venting your views on your own freedom within your own childhood on the basis that I did x and 'nothing happened to me'
to me that you get on to safetywise about how their advice is unacceptable and the other websites. Jog on preacher.

With or without consent, it’s unacceptable! You should be teaching independence, not fear!

It’s hard to share information about the literally millions of children and young adults that don’t go missing.

I think your level of anxiety about “these days” is shocking TBH!

You’re on track to raise a very anxious and isolated DD.

Thank you! I understand bad situations can happen at any time regardless, but I don't understand why it's a bad thing to do all you can to prevent these situations occurring. Yes I won't always be there but if I am there, I will be showing up. No one can deny that she is far more safe in my car than she ever would be on a bus or a taxi alone at night.

I think you have completely missed the (with consent) part of my suggestion.

Im not referring to covert surveilance. Im referring to both mum and daughter feeling safe for daughter to be out on own in town at cinema. My DC who is younger goes to cinema with a friend with phone on which we are both able to track each other (with consent) which helps. At times with additional measures such as a phone watch or apple tag for extra security (with consent). Its not at all unhinged - many parents do it - with consent for safety.

Lying on beaches with strangers at 17 for a girl in this day and age comes with great risks. This is the era of county lines, grooming gangs, only fans, red pill blue pill, revenge porn, sexting and andrew tate. Only recently it was in the news about teen girls being raped in broad daylight whilst at the beach. Yes they caught them but the damage is done. Each year 100,000 children and young people go missing or run away according to the childrens society (https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-we-do/our-work/children-missing-home) . So whilst I agree with you that 17 is an incredible age, its about supporting exploration whilst trying to make things as safe as possible (with consent) in a very unsafe world IMO. I think you are living in the past and need to wake up to the present risks in todays society.

No I don't drink lol I don't mind collecting her it's fine the post was more about whether she should be out that late at night but I realise im just being a bit paranoid I just wanted to check

I think you have completely missed the (with consent) part of my suggestion.

Im not referring to covert surveilance. Im referring to both mum and daughter feeling safe for daughter to be out on own in town at cinema. My DC who is younger goes to cinema with a friend with phone on which we are both able to track each other (with consent) which helps. At times with additional measures such as a phone watch or apple tag for extra security (with consent). Its not at all unhinged - many parents do it - with consent for safety.

Lying on beaches with strangers at 17 for a girl in this day and age comes with great risks. This is the era of county lines, grooming gangs, only fans, red pill blue pill, revenge porn, sexting and andrew tate. Only recently it was in the news about teen girls being raped in broad daylight whilst at the beach. Yes they caught them but the damage is done. Each year 100,000 children and young people go missing or run away according to the childrens society (https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-we-do/our-work/children-missing-home) . So whilst I agree with you that 17 is an incredible age, its about supporting exploration whilst trying to make things as safe as possible (with consent) in a very unsafe world IMO. I think you are living in the past and need to wake up to the present risks in todays society.

I think you have completely missed the (with consent) part of my suggestion.

Im not referring to covert surveilance. Im referring to both mum and daughter feeling safe for daughter to be out on own in town at cinema. My DC who is younger goes to cinema with a friend with phone on which we are both able to track each other (with consent) which helps. At times with additional measures such as a phone watch or apple tag for extra security (with consent). Its not at all unhinged - many parents do it - with consent for safety.

Lying on beaches with strangers at 17 for a girl in this day and age comes with great risks. This is the era of county lines, grooming gangs, only fans, red pill blue pill, revenge porn, sexting and andrew tate. Only recently it was in the news about teen girls being raped in broad daylight whilst at the beach. Yes they caught them but the damage is done. Each year 100,000 children and young people go missing or run away according to the childrens society (https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/what-we-do/our-work/children-missing-home) . So whilst I agree with you that 17 is an incredible age, its about supporting exploration whilst trying to make things as safe as possible (with consent) in a very unsafe world IMO. I think you are living in the past and need to wake up to the present risks in todays society.

I feel like I don't need to explain why monitoring a 17 year old with 2 trackers at the cinema is unhinged.

17 is such an incredible age. She should be free and having fun, meeting people, boys etc. I love to think back to being 17 and going to parties, travelling, lying on beaches with strangers....imagine not even being able to freely attend the cinema. That's bloody depressing.

Yes. I personally worry that the world keeps on getting smaller for our DCs, especially the girls. The world was never 'safer', but there is a rhetoric spreading across social media which constantly bangs on about girls getting raped and attacked. In some ways it is very insidious and toxic. It tells girls that the world is dangerous for them and that they need a fucking chaperone to get around. As someone who sadly experienced things I shouldn't have when I was young, I would be the last person to downplay risks of violence to women and girls, but I feel equally fiercely that we should work on punishing the men responsible, give them harsher sentences, and for the love of God not lock up our daughters!

It’s amazing how life has changed, at 13 I was babysitting two children a few times a week and walking home after at midnight.

But she is restricting her daughter though! She's 17 she can go out alone without having mummy follow her around like a baby mum needs to step back and get a life! 😂

I do understand your worries. But cinemas are staffed with cctv everywhere. Its a pretty safe environment. She can have her phone with her so you can track her (with consent) and even an apple air tag (with consent) for extra safety. She can message you once she is in the cinema safely, let you know which screen etc. Then meet her in the lobby after the film and get their early so you dont miss her. With a parent waiting for her is pretty safe. If she was wandering the streets at midnight on her own then yes id be really concerned. But with the set up above although it may be an anxious night for you it allows her a bit of freedom in a safe and controlled way.

I do understand your worries. But cinemas are staffed with cctv everywhere. Its a pretty safe environment. She can have her phone with her so you can track her (with consent) and even an apple air tag (with consent) for extra safety. She can message you once she is in the cinema safely, let you know which screen etc. Then meet her in the lobby after the film and get their early so you dont miss her. With a parent waiting for her is pretty safe. If she was wandering the streets at midnight on her own then yes id be really concerned. But with the set up above although it may be an anxious night for you it allows her a bit of freedom in a safe and controlled way.

I do understand your worries. But cinemas are staffed with cctv everywhere. Its a pretty safe environment. She can have her phone with her so you can track her (with consent) and even an apple air tag (with consent) for extra safety. She can message you once she is in the cinema safely, let you know which screen etc. Then meet her in the lobby after the film and get their early so you dont miss her. With a parent waiting for her is pretty safe. If she was wandering the streets at midnight on her own then yes id be really concerned. But with the set up above although it may be an anxious night for you it allows her a bit of freedom in a safe and controlled way.

I’m surprised she hasn’t been out ‘that late’ before, she is 17. Does she never spend evenings with her friends?

Jesus. OP literally just wanted to check people's opinions.....for her 17yr old which is fair enough. Who said anything about restricted lives? People on here jump to the most ridiculous conclusions...