AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

Check with the cinema as to the finishing time of the film and be outside in the car waiting for her………it’s one night and the school holidays, don’t embarrass her by banning her when she’s looking forward to meeting friends. Give her a little independence……it’ll keep her close……hold her back and risk losing her!

The cinema is going to be jam packed full of 17 year olds at that time. It’s not like she’s going to be sitting in a theatre full of dirty old men.

if you dont want to drive that is totally fair enough

The idea of ‘not letting her go’ was a bit ridiculous …

But surely the normal thing would be for the friend who has to travel to stay overnight with a friend closer to the venue. Or at least for two to travel home together?

There’s no denying there’s risk attached to late night taxis if one is alone - but that’s no reason to limit a 17 year old’s freedom. It’s just a matter of arranging the safest and most convenient way to do things.

OP did not state there were additional needs. Why would anyone jump to conclusions, you answer with the information given.

Seriously?!!!!! Is this for real?!!! There is no hope. 17 and having to ask permission to go to the cinema on an evening is bonkers in itself .

At 17 I think it's her choice but you don't have to pick her up. Insist she gets a taxi back. She needs to be able to travel without relying on lifts

YABVU. What will you do when she's 18.?Which could be very soon, I don't remember reading if you had said. She needs to learn to navigate this world in all aspects.

Getting a taxi is a completely normal thing to do.

If you think it isn't and you're intent on passing on your anxiety, you'll just have to suck up the fact you're now her late night taxi driver.

I had to collect my son around this time at weekends for a few years from his weekend job.

Just take a book or phone. Read or watch something on your phone .

At 17, I had a part time job alongside 6th form which didn't finish until 1am (restaurant/gig venue). I often cycled home as then I got to keep the taxi fare money - they gave us a tenner in cash every night after finishing.

At like many others, I was in nightclubs at 16 getting a night bus home, went to festivals for a weekend and took myself off across the country on trains to visit prospective universities for open days and/or spend the weekend with friends already there.

It's bemusing how normalised this infantilisation of older teens has become.

Oh yeah I forgot, so had I. Slightly older BFF got a job aged 17 as a nanny in mid-A level summer in France so I flew there aged 16 to stay for a week. My parents didn't even take me to the airport. In fact they didn't even take me to the train station to get the train to the airport - I got on a bus and then the good old national express. And obviously booked my own tickets etc. I feel suffocated just thinking about my mum worrying about me being inside a cinema aged 17 😂

I think its a great opportunity for you to get used to her being out at night on her own. You have to start somewhere because by next summer she'll be out in pubs and clubs.
When i was 15/16 I would go the pub and my dad would pretend to be a cab driver and park around the corner to collect me when the pub shut but save me the embarrasment of saying my dad was collecting me😂

@ofcolitas

lol there are loads of reasons why a person might not wanna do a late evening lift for the teenager, other than because they want to drink …maybe they have a gym class planned? Or maybe they are seeing their own friends? Or maybe they just can’t be arsed.

It’s amazing how life has changed, at 13 I was babysitting two children a few times a week and walking home after at midnight.

If your fine picking her up I don't see an issue.

We don't drive so my focus would be getting back safely - and frankly where we are that late in our city center wandering really isn't safe - but nearby town by cinerma being picked up by a parent - really don't see an issue.

Honestly once mine went to uni at 18 they could have been anywhere - and I did get some early morning whatsapp from city where a nice cat was seen.

Focus this age iI had was/is getting them ready to live independently - think through how to get around safely but here your doing the picking up so it's not even that.

I'd travelled abroad and I'd left home at 17.

If she's in Scotland she could be at uni in September. Indeed if she's an older 17yo should could be at uni in September!

And I agree with PP, living alone at uni, campus or not, is incomparably more independent than going to the cinema and getting picked up by mum and driven home. Would be fine to do this with a 14 yr old if she had a phone on her!

Sadly not! If only I’d spent more time in cinemas watching movies instead of mixing with horrible men (love my DC obviously men were the issue)! She’ll have a great time x

Not all universities are campus based - many big city ones are not. And your adult offspring may be friends mostly with people who aren't in the same halls of them.

OP, your daughter is 17 and going to the cinema. She should be making her own plans about her activities and how to travel to them. You don't need to be involved. She can either book a taxi (Uber etc has live location sharing options) or stay at her friends. Or spend her money on a premier inn. Whatever. She can sort it out herself and just let you know not to expect her back until Xx o clock.

I think you need to unwrap the bubble wrap a bit and let her go with her friend. Tell her to wait by exit of cinema and you can collect her. She should be safe in a cinema with her friend. She's not a little kid anymore. You have to let her grow up. Next year she could be at uni and you'll have no idea what she is going there.

Nope, I grew up in the UK and had the same experience, clubbing from 16, left home at 17 for uni. If my mum had worried about me going to the cinema and being chauffeured home at the age of 17 I would have passed out from shock.

I don't want to be too OTT but I genuinely worry about young people like OPs daughter, I hope she's a lot more independent than she's made out to be here because if not she'll be living at home till her 30s, terrified to make a phone call or get a job😬

She's never been out till midnight? And she's 17?

Blimey

Do you think uni students spend every night on campus and never venture in to the city/town centre then? Very naive.

A year is a long time and a university campus is a pretty safe location, she would almost certainly be in halls of residence and going out and coming back in with friends.