AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

Some of the comments on here are awful, this poor lady is just worried about her daughter, is she not allowed to do that? Comments like “do you take her to the toilet as well” is out of order.

at 17, i went abroad twice, festivals, clubbing, stayed in London for a week

you people (millennial parents) are nuts

Where on earth did you get that from?

If this particular 17 yo has additional needs then that is very relevant information and OP should have included it. The fact they didn't indicates this is a typical 17 yo.

As a medically complex 17 yo with (at the time, undiagnosed) ND, I started Uni at 17, lived in student accommodation and was regularly out until the sun came up.

Yeah I don't get it.
She's going to the cinema at a reasonable time.
She will watch the movie with her friend.
She will walk out of the cinema and get into your waiting car.
🙄

I was getting the bus into the city to meet my friends & go to the cinema in the evening when I was 13, never mind 17. When I was 17 I was working in pubs & going to nightclubs. (Nobody was checking ID in the 80s). If my mum had tried to stop me, I would have laughed at her.

I understand that times have changed & young people are treated as children for longer these days but OP is being completely ridiculous. This young woman will legally be an adult in a few months time. Of course she should be able to go to the cinema with her friends.

My dsis has 2 dd's who are now in their late 20s. Obviously when they were both at Uni she had no idea what time there were out til...but when they came home in the holidays she would still worry/not be able to sleep until she could hear them arrive safely home....but that's because she knew they were out.
But yes, if op is going to pick up OP straight from the cinema she doesn't need to stress about it..

She'll probably be out till 4am under the influence this time next year. I'd let her go, help you both prepare for when she is 18.

Time changes so much. I am not even that old but at 15 I'd get home from school, glad rags on, cinema with boyfriend, pub, club, lord knows where else and then taxi home.
I understand why you're uneasy, but she's almost an adult. You need to let her grow up. Can she book herself a taxi?

OP many kids do GCSEs, and then go inter-railing or to Reading or Leeds festival. A cinema with a lift is virtually no-risk in my book.

i wouldn’t worry about her safety. She’s 17 not 7!!! Let
go a bit

but wouldn’t be keen to get out of bed at midnight

she is 17, how will you stop her?

At 18 she could be out all night clubbing. Time to start having conversations about how to stay safe on nights out.

Jesus Christ.

Admittedly I was pretty feral as a teen, but the level of coddling of young people thesw days never ceases to astonish me.

At 16 I got ona sort of student engagment programme with a large media organisation that required me to stay in London for a few days every few months. I went on my own (I was the youngest, most were gap year or university students) my dad was a self employed single parent so there was no question of him being able to come with me, so I went on my own.

ohh that sounds abit dangerous though...I wouldn't have wanted to walk a long distance home at that time at any age (I probably watch too much 'true crime' tho!) 😂

I assumed this thread was going to be AIBU for thinking midnight is far too late for my teenager to expect me to drive out to pick her up? Given that you appear to have no issue with that, you are being 100% unreasonable to think midnight is too late for a 17 year old to be 'out' (the cinema, which are generally safe complexes, is hardly 'out out'). In another year or so she could be off to uni, then you won't have a clue what's she's doing, where, when, and who with. You really need to let go. At 17 she is practically an adult. You are coming to pick her up. What do you seriously think is going to happen to her?

For what it's worth, I would have said you're not being unreasonable if this was about not wanting to go out at midnight to pick up and I would have agreed she's taking the pee a bit picking that time in a different town if she's wanting a lift home. It is a bit cheeky. Given that you're ok with that part though, I honestly don't understand the issue.

OP, you have done incredibly well if your 17 year old has never been out until midnight. Our 14 year old has required some 11pm pick ups. Hope she has a great time.

Just on this, I don’t like doing the late night pickups. Because I’m shattered. Not because I drink at home.

There was no mention of special needs in the OP.

Christ on a bike - a 17 we used to go out to pubs and clubs in the town 8 miles away and share a cab home at 1am.

I remember vividly at 16 going to see Pulp Fiction in the bigger town 15 miles away, then dancing at the local indie dive and then getting the last train home at midnight.

Hey OP

She will be fine (and so will you, I hate driving late at night 😬)

Hope she enjoys Spider-Man ☺️

She's 17!

I could have driven myself to the cinema at that age and left home a month after I was 18.

What an assumption/accusation jesus 😂

Agree with most OP, she's pretty much an adult

At 17, your daughter is more than old enough to be watching a film at 8.45 pm. She'll be inside the cinema until the film finishes and you're collecting her. At the worst she might be stood outside the cinema for a few minutes waiting for you.

Your daughter will be 18 shortly, and legally an adult. You won't be able to 'stop' her going out late. She may go off to university, where you'll have zero control over where/who with/what time, she does anything!

She’s 17, in a year she may be leaving home. I regularly went to late night showings at that age and no mobile phones then either, nobody picked me up. Unless there’s sen or something she should be quite capable