AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

OP, she’s 17! In a year she could be living away at uni doing whatever she wants! I was out clubbing from the age of 16! It’s your duty as a parent to put your anxiety aside to let your child build some responsibility and resilience in the world! Let her enjoy the film!

Within reason, yes. But OP intended to take it a lot further than that:

“I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...”

God! My 17yo is often out until 2am, no one picks him up. He either walks with friends or gets an Uber.
He'll be off to uni in 8 weeks and I will have no idea what he is up to so he needs to learn now how to look after himself.
They have been going to the cinema in the evening since they were 15!

Because normal people worry about their kids.

And anyone with common sense worries about their kids.

There's worrying and there's being ridiculous. What exactly is going to happen inside a cinema to a 17 year old whose mum is waiting outside to pick her up? Nothing different to if it was a 6:30pm viewing. The time is irrelevant here as she's being picked up by her mum! I'd actually understand if she was worrying about her daughter getting an Uber home on her own at that time of night as that's a normal thing to worry about (not enough to consider stopping her going, but the worry itself would be considered normal). She's going to be waiting outside for her daughter though, so it really doesn't matter what time of day it is. I'm genuinely curious what on Earth there is to worry about?

Midnight isn't late for a 17-year-old to be out with a friend. I was 17 when I started university and believe me, I was often out much later than that. Your DD isn't a young child. She'll be a legal adult in less than a year. Let go and let her enjoy herself.

I assumed you were about to say she would have to catch a rare late night country bus. But you are collecting her. What’s the issue? Just get to the cinema before it closes so she isn’t hanging round if that is what is worrying you.How is her friend getting home btw?

It's natural to worry, OP, but yes she'll be fine. She's 17 and very much needs to spread her wings now. It is very kind of you to collect her, I would do the same for my children.

I'm an 'old' gen-z (born 1998) and even when I was 17 it was unthinkable for a 17 year old to not be 'let' out late - understandable if a parent didn't want to collect late at night and if that meant the person couldn't go (we lived rurally so no night buses and taxis were v unreliable outside of the bigger towns). When I was 15/16 it was very normal for me and a friend to take the last train (11.30pm) home from the closest city to our closest town with a station after seeing a play or going to a gig and then a parent or kind older cousin would collect us and drop us home.

Worrying about a near 18 year old visiting a cinema in the evening, in one of the safest countries in the planet, is absolutely ridiculous. Anyone with any common sense can appreciate that.

I didn't like to do them when my eldest was 17 as I had a 5 year old in bed.

Bit presumptuous of you suggesting it's just because people are drinking

Its hard being a young adult finding your way in the world

But why is it (apparently) so much harder for young adults (or rather their parents) these days than it was in the past?

Of course it's normal for a parent to 'worry' or not relax until they hear their child is home, regardless of age. That's very different to what is being asked by OP. As you said, OP has no reason to stress in these circumstances. Her child is not out on the town, she's at the cinema. She'll be there to pick her up when it's finished. Totally different to a parent laying awake until they hear that key turn in the door.

But… you’re picking her up after the cinema so where is the concern?

my 17-year-old niece has just been interrailing round Europe with friends!

Im assuming there’s some additional needs or back story here? If not then you really need to chill out!

Is 17 a typo and she’s actually 7?

If she’s 17, you are being utterly ridiculous.

And many a 17 year old in Scotland heading to uni this September would already have been on their sixth year holiday to Magaluf/Zante/Ayia Napa by now.

Granted that was the longest ten days of my life, when it was my DC.

Kindly op, my 16 year old post GCSE-er is currently away on her first holiday with no adults, just her friends. The idea that you are trying to police a trip to Spider-Man for a 17 year old is hugely infantilising. She is almost an adult - you need to encourage her to use her burgeoning wings, not clip them.

Sorry but you're being ridiculous! She could be married with kids of her own...

Totally YABU

Its a 12A rated movie. That means there will be much younger kids there at the 8.45 screening.

You are setting yourself for a very difficult time when she turns 18. If you cant respect her to go to the cinema at this age shes just going to rebel.

Be there at 11.50 to collect her and tell her to ring you from inside when the show is over.

Not sure why the OP is getting heat for worrying about her daughter.

Somebody has even started another thread of her own in despair at parents like OP and how on earth do young adults cope etc etc etc (hopefully they will get the self esteem boost they are seeking with all the congratulatory on being so brilliant posts they will receive 👍)

Its hard being a young adult finding your way in the world and it’s even harder being a parent to a young adult finding their way in the world.

OP - she will honestly be fine . I think it’s opening night so all shows will be packed and the cinema will be crawling with nerds superman fans . 😁

Did you never go out to midnight when you were 17??

I’m shocked that you think you even have to ask. Of course it’s completely reasonable for a 17 year old to be out at night.

More important is that she will possibly be going to University very soon and has to learn how to stay safe be aware of possible dangerous situations and how to extract yourself from them.

Sorry you are getting so much grief, just to add I would be the same as you, it’s only natural to worry about our offspring.

Lol, have an Olympic medal for that whataboutery 🥇

Or do you think the OP's memory is so bad she forgot her DD has additional needs?