AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

The OP doesn’t have to collect her though. She’s 17 not 7.

This reminds me of a time my friend and I convinced her mum (I was staying at hers) to drop us off at the cinema to watch a crap film
called ‘Dave’ or something 🤣
We obviously weren’t watching that and went to a shit club nearby. I remember trying to avoid a running commentary about what the film was about on the way home
Not saying your Dd is doing that, but we were around 15…by 17 I think my Dm just had to let go completely really

If its a one off I would.collect her as close to the cinema door as possible. Every parent is different but Id feel worried so that would be my compromise and i'd drop friend off too.

Maybe make it into a memory, get a drive though as a midnight snack for everyone or just for you and daughter once friend dropped off. Be nice for you and Dd to have that time together, yes a late night for you all but can make the best of it.

But probs one of the last memories you can make before adulthood commences where you can be involved in her life, im sure soon she'll be out doing her own thing or away at uni and you wont have the chance to do something like this.

In years to come..."Remember we got a midnight drive though when you picked me up from spiderman Mum - yes DD I was a bit worried so wanted to be your taxi service 😅!"

If its not every week I'd go get her and her friend x

My parents didn't drive. This concept of parents playing taxi to their kids at all hours is alien to me. I'd do it if I could myself, when the time comes, but if I can't it's tough. Growing up myself, it just wasn't possible to say "hey mum, can you pick me up at midnight?"

I don't think it's wrong for parents to not want to be ferrying their kids around at all hours if they don't want to, whatever the reason (had a drink, younger kids in bed already, need to be up early for work in the morning etc). If you're old enough to be out late without your parents, you're old enough to get a taxi home or arrange to stay with a friend.

It's not purely her decision if the OP has to collect her!

I don't necessarily think it is. She's just asking what is normal/acceptable and wanting to gauge it as he daughter has only gone to friends houses before now....and like OP said, she's cool with it now. She was just looking for advice...

Ridiculous that you are the slightest bit bothered by this.

Most 17 year olds I know are partying in Magaluf on holiday without parents. And the 16 year olds are off camping at the Reading Festival next month. I’m sure your DD will be fine at the local cinema.

I used to stay out all night at 17 🤣
I also used to work part time in a restaurant and wouldn’t finish until gone 1/2am at the age.

This is why the young people of today lack resilience. They aren’t given any independence.

Ugh too real, I never got lifts after 7pm as a teen cos my parents would have the wine out.

If I may say, with the greatest respect, you are talking absolute bollards.

I must say I've never worried about mine at that age when picking them up from a friend, cinema or work. What is there to worry about?

I'd left home when I was 17, if that helps! She'll be fine.

Normal people don't worry about extremely safe and normal things that their young adult children do. Spending your life in a state of constant worry isn't normal and it's not healthy.

Wtf 🤣

It’s really hard to take you seriously when you write “parents like this have done nothing yadayadayada”

How do you know? You don’t.

No she really shouldn't be worrying about this. It's a completely disproportionate worry and suggests a clinical level of anxiety not normal parental concerns.

Where on Earth have I said it's not normal to worry about your kids? But worrying about sending them to the cinema, when you're providing a lift home is an unhealthy level of worry.

People worry about their kids being out at night, of course they do, but the cinema is not 'out'. Her kid will literally just be sat watching a film. She does have to make her own way there or home afterwards. Prey tell me, what is there to worry about in these circumstances?

Yes I think you’re being extreme. I would be more annoyed at having to stay up though than I would be worried she’s going to be in a cinema, they’re not notorious for bad behaviour

If you don’t mind going to get her, then what’s the problem?

That’s the bit that would bother me if I was working the next day.

If you don’t like her being out late and that’s your reason for not wanted to let her, what will you do when she turns 18?! Will it suddenly be fine?

It’s only hard because parents like this are doing nothing in the child’s preteen and teen years to teach any sort of independence. It’s no harder than any other generation. If anything it’s easier as information is at the touch of a screen and everyone is contactable at all times. Parents have always worried and always will, that’s no excuse for not teaching your child the life skills to become an independent adult. 17 is literally the cusp of being an adult and this person has to have permission to go to the cinema!! It’s crazy!

My issue is having to work early the next morning, a late night drive tends to get me buzzing rather than winding down.

It doesn't sound great for you though, if you need a few drinks to get you to sleep.