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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

512 replies

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

OP posts:
Cherrytree86 · 27/07/2026 19:30

pinenuts75 · 27/07/2026 17:59

Because normal people worry about their kids.

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@pinenuts75

but what exactly is there to worry about in the scenario that OP describes? You haven’t said

flippinnorastights · 27/07/2026 19:30

I can’t actually believe that I am reading this thread about a 17 year old going to a not very late cinema showing and being picked up at the door. This is the kind of post it might be reasonable to write about a 14 year old.

Presumably she has finished her first year of 6th form she’s far from a young teen. Many 17 year olds are driving and getting themselves all over the place at this age.

im afraid I agree with other posters, having this level of anxiety about minor freedoms for a 6th former is totally over the top. We need to give our kids some resilience and freedom and worrying and even crossing your mind that you could object to a 17 year old going to a busy cinema is madness.

AgnesMcDoo · 27/07/2026 19:25

TimeDoesntStandStill · 27/07/2026 18:33

If its a one off I would.collect her as close to the cinema door as possible. Every parent is different but Id feel worried so that would be my compromise and i'd drop friend off too.

Maybe make it into a memory, get a drive though as a midnight snack for everyone or just for you and daughter once friend dropped off. Be nice for you and Dd to have that time together, yes a late night for you all but can make the best of it.

But probs one of the last memories you can make before adulthood commences where you can be involved in her life, im sure soon she'll be out doing her own thing or away at uni and you wont have the chance to do something like this.

In years to come..."Remember we got a midnight drive though when you picked me up from spiderman Mum - yes DD I was a bit worried so wanted to be your taxi service 😅!"

If its not every week I'd go get her and her friend x

That’s exactly how I’d treat my 12 year old if she was coming out the cinema at midnight.

For a 17 year old you are having a laugh

PearlsTeapot · 27/07/2026 19:21

I'm glad you've realised and accepted you're being unreasonable!

Hopefully this thread has reassured you. She is 17 with a smart phone, our only rule for late nights is the phone must be charged.

flippinnorastights · 27/07/2026 19:21

TimeDoesntStandStill · 27/07/2026 18:33

If its a one off I would.collect her as close to the cinema door as possible. Every parent is different but Id feel worried so that would be my compromise and i'd drop friend off too.

Maybe make it into a memory, get a drive though as a midnight snack for everyone or just for you and daughter once friend dropped off. Be nice for you and Dd to have that time together, yes a late night for you all but can make the best of it.

But probs one of the last memories you can make before adulthood commences where you can be involved in her life, im sure soon she'll be out doing her own thing or away at uni and you wont have the chance to do something like this.

In years to come..."Remember we got a midnight drive though when you picked me up from spiderman Mum - yes DD I was a bit worried so wanted to be your taxi service 😅!"

If its not every week I'd go get her and her friend x

WTF make a memory of her mum picking her up from the cinema and getting a drive through. She’s 17 not 7

Bleachbum · 27/07/2026 19:16

Weird. My DD17 doesn’t have a curfew. She just just run out of the door to go out with friends into central London this evening. I have no idea where she is planning on going, what time she plans on being home nor how she plans on getting home.

But she has a phone, with City Mapper, Uber and ApplePay on it. She’ll be fine.

At 17, your DD should be coming and going as she pleases.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/07/2026 19:15

mswales · 27/07/2026 18:51

I was out clubbing in nearby cities until much later than that at 17, and yes holidaying in Magaluf like a PP said! That said, what we got up to and the risks we took were definitely not what you would want a teenage daughter to be doing!

This. People always react to these times as the era of independent teenagers. My friends and I made some terrible decisions that could have been prevented with some adult supervision. I do wonder how we survived sometimes.
Even so, knife crimes was a rarer thing and random sexual attacks too.

Cherrytree86 · 27/07/2026 19:10

pinenuts75 · 27/07/2026 17:37

Sorry you are getting so much grief, just to add I would be the same as you, it’s only natural to worry about our offspring.

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@pinenuts75

worry about what though? In the scenario OP describes what is there to worry about?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/07/2026 19:09

Let her go. This movie was a big event for teenagers, there will be loads of likeminded teenagers there.
It’s hard to let go but you have to help her navigate through life.

Gemilo · 27/07/2026 19:08

ofcolitas · 27/07/2026 15:58

Do you like to have a few drinks before bedtime in order to help you sleep OP? Because in real life it was always the mothers who liked a drink who didn't want to do the late night drives.

If so, just don't drink for that night.

What on earth??

Cakeface11 · 27/07/2026 19:07

I feel sorry for teenagers now

UniquePinkSwan · 27/07/2026 19:07

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 27/07/2026 18:19

Ugh too real, I never got lifts after 7pm as a teen cos my parents would have the wine out.

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I never got lifts because my parents didn’t drive. I still managed to go out every weekend and get home. Very entitled behaviour expecting parents to have no life on the off chance you might want a lift

Pjsaremyfaveoutfit · 27/07/2026 19:06

VestibuleWeaver · 27/07/2026 19:03

Dave, with Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver? That's actually a great film.

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Yes I think so 😂 not so great as a teen though…how they even believed we wanted to see it and dressed the way we were

UniquePinkSwan · 27/07/2026 19:05

She’s 17. I’d have laughed in my mothers face if she’d stopped me doing this.

OhBumBags · 27/07/2026 19:05

sweeel · 27/07/2026 18:13

Yep I don't mind that. She has taken taxis before I know it's fine but if im available and fine to get her then I'll be collecting her if she asks. Obviously sometimes I'm not and then she takes the bus

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What??

Surely this post makes a nonsense of your entire thread then?

shuggles · 27/07/2026 19:04

@sweeel I was wondering if you had made a typo and intended to write "7" instead of "17."

It would be normal for 18 year olds to run around the city centre shit-faced at 2 am, so I'm bemused at the idea of a trip to the cinema being too much for a 17 year old.

hourspassed · 27/07/2026 19:04

Get used to being the late night taxi service OP!

Just get her to wait inside - or make sure you are a little early and can catch her coming out. It's all character building for them - and she will need to do things independently at some stage.

Skippyasyermuni · 27/07/2026 19:03

I cannot believe what I’ve just read. She is 17. Jesus Christ.

VestibuleWeaver · 27/07/2026 19:03

Pjsaremyfaveoutfit · 27/07/2026 18:42

This reminds me of a time my friend and I convinced her mum (I was staying at hers) to drop us off at the cinema to watch a crap film
called ‘Dave’ or something 🤣
We obviously weren’t watching that and went to a shit club nearby. I remember trying to avoid a running commentary about what the film was about on the way home
Not saying your Dd is doing that, but we were around 15…by 17 I think my Dm just had to let go completely really

Dave, with Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver? That's actually a great film.

Motheranddaughter · 27/07/2026 18:54

Don’t be ridiculous

ClaredeBear · 27/07/2026 18:54

ofcolitas · 27/07/2026 15:58

Do you like to have a few drinks before bedtime in order to help you sleep OP? Because in real life it was always the mothers who liked a drink who didn't want to do the late night drives.

If so, just don't drink for that night.

…quite the accusation.

mswales · 27/07/2026 18:51

I was out clubbing in nearby cities until much later than that at 17, and yes holidaying in Magaluf like a PP said! That said, what we got up to and the risks we took were definitely not what you would want a teenage daughter to be doing!

LBFseBrom · 27/07/2026 18:50

Can she not get a cab home afterwards?

UpDownAllAround1 · 27/07/2026 18:48

She can join the army so yep let her

cannibalfish · 27/07/2026 18:48

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 27/07/2026 18:19

Ugh too real, I never got lifts after 7pm as a teen cos my parents would have the wine out.

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Yep I relate too, my mother would be gone by 6 and it resulted in me getting lifts from all sorts of usually strange men. Something I will never do as a parent.

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