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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

512 replies

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

OP posts:
fromgothtoboss · 27/07/2026 21:36

Bleachbum · 27/07/2026 21:25

God that’s made me feel old.

I was wondering how on earth someone who was 17 in 2012 could be on mumsnet of an evening when they must be so young and fun.

Then realised that makes you in your early 30’s and makes me feel ancient!

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Yep even lots of forty-something mums on here will have been 17 in the 2000s. We’re not talking about completely different times

Bleachbum · 27/07/2026 21:25

Gooseling · 27/07/2026 21:17

I was 17 in 2012.

I had an iPhone. I could contact my parents when I needed. Social media existed. I used Facebook/Twitter/Google maps to look at news sites and for any public transport delays when getting to and from my part time job.

I can’t really think of how different the “times” were back then to what they are now. Apart from things being cheaper🤣

17 year olds need independence in order to build resilience, confidence and life skills. They can’t always rely on “mummy and daddy” to do everything for them and keep them locked up being scared of the outside world.

Show quote history

God that’s made me feel old.

I was wondering how on earth someone who was 17 in 2012 could be on mumsnet of an evening when they must be so young and fun.

Then realised that makes you in your early 30’s and makes me feel ancient!

Cherrytree86 · 27/07/2026 21:23

FaceIt · 27/07/2026 21:20

I understand your concerns. It’s very hard in this day and age, but you’ve got it covered. You’re a good mum 💐

@FaceIt

why is it harder in this day and age compared to when you were 17?

FaceIt · 27/07/2026 21:20

I understand your concerns. It’s very hard in this day and age, but you’ve got it covered. You’re a good mum 💐

GrilledSandwich384 · 27/07/2026 21:18

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 27/07/2026 21:15

There are and have always been random weirdos. You’re still not very likely to meet one between the doors of a cinema and a car park.

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I just felt so sad because I told myself "you're more likely to be attacked by someone you know. Men are more likely victims of stranger violence".

I thought even Edinburgh was a perfectly safe pleasant city. And this girl was so young.

Gooseling · 27/07/2026 21:17

Marycontrarygarden · 27/07/2026 20:09

Can everyone stop with the "when I was 17" rubbish. VERY different times 🙄

I was 17 in 2012.

I had an iPhone. I could contact my parents when I needed. Social media existed. I used Facebook/Twitter/Google maps to look at news sites and for any public transport delays when getting to and from my part time job.

I can’t really think of how different the “times” were back then to what they are now. Apart from things being cheaper🤣

17 year olds need independence in order to build resilience, confidence and life skills. They can’t always rely on “mummy and daddy” to do everything for them and keep them locked up being scared of the outside world.

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 27/07/2026 21:15

GrilledSandwich384 · 27/07/2026 21:14

Normally I'd say YABU.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c141x6lp8p4o

But I saw this in the news and I just felt sick. I couldn't focus at the gym because I felt too sad.

There are and have always been random weirdos. You’re still not very likely to meet one between the doors of a cinema and a car park.

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 27/07/2026 21:13

If she could drive herself I wouldn’t have an issue. Dd2 was regularly out until that time at 17. I would be a bit moany about collecting her at midnight on a Wednesday if I had work the next day though.

Pinkchickenwine · 27/07/2026 21:13

This is ridiculous! 17 not 7!

Sherararara · 27/07/2026 21:11

Seriously?

Mrscharlieeeee · 27/07/2026 21:09

This cannot be serious? I was clubbing all over the uk and going to festivals at 17. I can’t believe you think she needs your permission. Way over dramatic.

VestibuleWeaver · 27/07/2026 21:04

Marycontrarygarden · 27/07/2026 20:09

Can everyone stop with the "when I was 17" rubbish. VERY different times 🙄

So what? If anything, these are safer times, and plenty of 17 year olds are still doing all these crazy things.

momtoboys · 27/07/2026 20:57

ofcolitas · 27/07/2026 15:58

Do you like to have a few drinks before bedtime in order to help you sleep OP? Because in real life it was always the mothers who liked a drink who didn't want to do the late night drives.

If so, just don't drink for that night.

No truer words were spoken. When my sons were in secondary, I always had to do the driving because most of the other parents were on the sesh and couldn't drive. I actually had one parent say, "I really like to drink after work, can you please pick up?" Like I had no social life! Well, to be fair, I really didn't, but they didn't know that! 😂

Buggeroffboss · 27/07/2026 20:45

If you collecting her is the only way she can get back, then YANBU if you don't want to be up so late.

If it's because you're worried about her out so late, then YABU.

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 20:44

vickylou78 · 27/07/2026 20:33

She's 17!!!! Course it's fine to go to a cinema at 8:45!!! She will literally be able adult in less than a year.

Do you live somewhere very dangerous?

Drip feed, OP lives in Caracas and her daughter is dating the son of the head of a Venezuelan cartel

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 20:41

NewHere83 · 27/07/2026 20:33

You're kidding me? I had conservative parents and I was clubbing by 16, coming in at 4am by 17.....

Same, my mum worked in safeguarding at the local school and she still basically let me do what I want part GCSE age! 😂

EarthlyNightshade · 27/07/2026 20:38

Timeforachange26 · 27/07/2026 20:35

Nearest cinema to me is in leisure park. You drive around and pull up in fill site of the entrance and the person who is being collected jumps in. You can park at far end of leisure park to wait and drive in seconds to cinema when person tells you they are leaving it

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Thinking about it, I've just realised that there is one that faces out onto a car park. DCs usually go there on the bus.
I stand corrected.

Timeforachange26 · 27/07/2026 20:35

EarthlyNightshade · 27/07/2026 20:30

None of the cinemas near me have any kind of parking close by. They are in shopping centres or retail parks. Not the point of the thread I know but if DC ever goes to the cinema, I have to arrange to meet him a few streets away.

I am agog at all these cinemas with unlimited parking outside the front door.

Nearest cinema to me is in leisure park. You drive around and pull up in fill site of the entrance and the person who is being collected jumps in. You can park at far end of leisure park to wait and drive in seconds to cinema when person tells you they are leaving it

vickylou78 · 27/07/2026 20:33

She's 17!!!! Course it's fine to go to a cinema at 8:45!!! She will literally be able adult in less than a year.

Do you live somewhere very dangerous?

Bleachbum · 27/07/2026 20:33

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 20:28

What do you actually think is more dangerous now?

For example I was 17 about 20 years ago. 17yo me didn't have a mobile phone and neither did my parent so if I was out and wanted to contact them I'd have to find a pay phone which worked, some change and hope parent was at home and not using house phone.

17yo now can share location with mum the entire night, should they please.

What do you think, in this scenario, is more dangerous than "when I was 17"?

Show quote history

Exactly. And was completely impossible for parents to contact you. They just had to hope you were planning on coming home at some point!

NewHere83 · 27/07/2026 20:33

You're kidding me? I had conservative parents and I was clubbing by 16, coming in at 4am by 17.....

chillyputsomesockson · 27/07/2026 20:33

Marycontrarygarden · 27/07/2026 20:09

Can everyone stop with the "when I was 17" rubbish. VERY different times 🙄

You’re right , now they are contactable at any time, have a map and direction finder in their pocket, have access money through a quick click of a transfer, can call a taxi, check public transport times etc. much safer now.
There isn’t more crime now, it’s just that due to the internet you’re just aware of it now,and due to awareness, stuff that wouldn’t get reported to police then gets reported now.

EarthlyNightshade · 27/07/2026 20:30

None of the cinemas near me have any kind of parking close by. They are in shopping centres or retail parks. Not the point of the thread I know but if DC ever goes to the cinema, I have to arrange to meet him a few streets away.

I am agog at all these cinemas with unlimited parking outside the front door.

AgnesMcDoo · 27/07/2026 20:30

Marycontrarygarden · 27/07/2026 20:09

Can everyone stop with the "when I was 17" rubbish. VERY different times 🙄

It’s not different times at all. 🤣

My 17 year old is going to the Baltics next week with his pals.

i also let him go to the cinema.

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