Page 10 | AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

Cherrytree86 · 28/07/2026 12:37

sweeel · 28/07/2026 12:19

I honestly do have to pick her up in my opinion, she did ask me, and that's cause I collect her whenever I can and I genuinely don't mind.

Fair enough I was being unreasonable about not letting her go to the cinema at this time, but I still believe that letting my teenage daughter into a taxi alone at 12am is just unnerving. I have less of an issue of her doing that with friends and maybe I am paranoid whatever, but if I'm free to get her, then I'll get her.

And whenever she's on public transport etc. before it's at earlier times not at night hence why I was worried.

I do understand that when she's older she'll be doing this anyway but my main thing is that it will always be with friends, she won't be at university and travelling in a taxi alone. If I'm there to pick her up, I'll pick her up, really don't understand the issue although I get that it's also fine for her to take a taxi whatever. Also taxis are expensive so might as well save the money!

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@sweeel

what about if she goes on a date with someone? She’ll be going there and back on her own won’t she, she won’t have her mates with her then. There will be other scenarios just like this too. Try to become more comfortable with the idea of your daughter travelling on her own cos I can guarantee it’s going to happen!

Pinkchickenwine · 28/07/2026 12:36

sweeel · 28/07/2026 12:19

I honestly do have to pick her up in my opinion, she did ask me, and that's cause I collect her whenever I can and I genuinely don't mind.

Fair enough I was being unreasonable about not letting her go to the cinema at this time, but I still believe that letting my teenage daughter into a taxi alone at 12am is just unnerving. I have less of an issue of her doing that with friends and maybe I am paranoid whatever, but if I'm free to get her, then I'll get her.

And whenever she's on public transport etc. before it's at earlier times not at night hence why I was worried.

I do understand that when she's older she'll be doing this anyway but my main thing is that it will always be with friends, she won't be at university and travelling in a taxi alone. If I'm there to pick her up, I'll pick her up, really don't understand the issue although I get that it's also fine for her to take a taxi whatever. Also taxis are expensive so might as well save the money!

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So when is “older”?

18?
21?

She will of course sometimes be in a taxi alone, how would she go through life not being?

You should be teaching her common sense and safety measures, not picking her up and treating her like a young teen.

She will be living alone within the next few years, what life skills will she have if she can’t get herself home after dark?

Sorry, I think your actions are totally over the top and not preparing your daughter for real life.

VestibuleWeaver · 28/07/2026 12:33

sweeel · 28/07/2026 12:19

I honestly do have to pick her up in my opinion, she did ask me, and that's cause I collect her whenever I can and I genuinely don't mind.

Fair enough I was being unreasonable about not letting her go to the cinema at this time, but I still believe that letting my teenage daughter into a taxi alone at 12am is just unnerving. I have less of an issue of her doing that with friends and maybe I am paranoid whatever, but if I'm free to get her, then I'll get her.

And whenever she's on public transport etc. before it's at earlier times not at night hence why I was worried.

I do understand that when she's older she'll be doing this anyway but my main thing is that it will always be with friends, she won't be at university and travelling in a taxi alone. If I'm there to pick her up, I'll pick her up, really don't understand the issue although I get that it's also fine for her to take a taxi whatever. Also taxis are expensive so might as well save the money!

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It won't always be with friends, though. Will you only feel reassured if she has a travelling companion wherever she goes, for the rest of your life (assuming she outlives you)? You must realise how unhealthy this is.

Original poster

sweeel · 28/07/2026 12:19

Pinkchickenwine · 28/07/2026 11:30

Does OP have to pick her up? Or insists on picking her up as she’s overbearing.

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I honestly do have to pick her up in my opinion, she did ask me, and that's cause I collect her whenever I can and I genuinely don't mind.

Fair enough I was being unreasonable about not letting her go to the cinema at this time, but I still believe that letting my teenage daughter into a taxi alone at 12am is just unnerving. I have less of an issue of her doing that with friends and maybe I am paranoid whatever, but if I'm free to get her, then I'll get her.

And whenever she's on public transport etc. before it's at earlier times not at night hence why I was worried.

I do understand that when she's older she'll be doing this anyway but my main thing is that it will always be with friends, she won't be at university and travelling in a taxi alone. If I'm there to pick her up, I'll pick her up, really don't understand the issue although I get that it's also fine for her to take a taxi whatever. Also taxis are expensive so might as well save the money!

OP posts:

EarthlyNightshade · 28/07/2026 12:09

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:03

Because the OP is expected to pick her up. Is this a thread of Russian bots?

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Can't see this being a thread for Russian bots.

Have they not got bigger fish to fry than whether a teenager gets to go see Spider-Man?

Pinkchickenwine · 28/07/2026 11:30

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:03

Because the OP is expected to pick her up. Is this a thread of Russian bots?

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Does OP have to pick her up? Or insists on picking her up as she’s overbearing.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 28/07/2026 10:40

In a few months she might be stumbling in the door at 3am. Enjoy knowing where she is. Why on earth would she be unsafe standing outside a cinema. I don't know where it is obviously but busy city centres are usually safe enough with people coming and going out of pubs and clubs. She will be one of those people soon so best she gets used to being out at night.

FreeRider · 28/07/2026 10:14

When I was nearly 16 I travelled from the UK to Italy by coach, so across mainland Europe, on my own.

I thank fuck daily I grew up in the 80s...

justasking111 · 28/07/2026 08:37

Unfortunately we don't have Ubers, scant taxis and bus services where we are. It is such a luxury when we go to an area where we can call up an Uber.

flippinnorastights · 28/07/2026 07:56

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:08

There is literally no real life parent of a 17 year old girl other than on mumsnet who would let them get a taxi at midnight. But 🤣

And mine wouldn’t have in 1992 either if I was alone.

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What? The kids I know all take Ubers from 15/16. They’re completely trackable and you can follow in real time. Alternatively if you use a local cab company you generally get to know the drivers. My 16 year old wants to be out and about most nights in the school holidays, usually at friends houses a good 30 mins drive away. I’m certainly not running a midnight taxi service every day, so Ubers it is.

KnitFastDieWarm · 28/07/2026 02:03

these types of threads are genuinely unsettling. How on earth are these young adults going to function in society when they’re being hemmed in and overprotected at every turn? Their confidence must be shot.

The entire point of good parenting is to produce a functioning adult - it is NOT to make sure that your offspring never has to problem-solve or experience the slightest risk or discomfort.

It’s arguably as bad to treat a 17 year old like a 10 year old as it is to treat a 10 year old like a 17 year old.

Winnie27101981 · 28/07/2026 00:49

sweeel · 27/07/2026 15:54

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

She’s 17!!! I went to Spain with my friends when I was 17 and that was before mobile phones!

(I was born in 1981 - mobile phones were obviously a thing in the late 90’s but still very basic, simple text and calls only and very expensive to use abroad so I didn’t!)

Timeforachange26 · 27/07/2026 22:52

arethereanyleftatall · 27/07/2026 22:41

even though I do think you’re just on the wind up, there is 3% who thought Yanbu, so I do have a question for this response…

Why wouldn’t you pick up your 17 yo from a party? (Given that you seem to think 17yr olds don’t get cabs). That’s really sad if they’ve missed out on that whole pile of fun.

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Err how about Don't drive, younger kids asleep in house, or out themselves. Or maybe they just don't want to

thereisnomeaning · 27/07/2026 22:47

My parents were like this and would have told me to be home by either 9.30pm or 10pm on the dot, depending whether it was a weekday or weekend. I also moved out at 17 as a result.

Pssedoffathis · 27/07/2026 22:43

Things have definitely changed, we were out all night and coming home at 6am in the 90s. I would be the same though OP, mine aren’t that age yet but I do think things are different. But midnight being picked up from the cinema with a friend is very different to underage clubbing. I would be fine with this.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/07/2026 22:41

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:06

I have a 17 year old. We do not pick her up at midnight on any night she fancies, and neither do her friends parents.

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even though I do think you’re just on the wind up, there is 3% who thought Yanbu, so I do have a question for this response…

Why wouldn’t you pick up your 17 yo from a party? (Given that you seem to think 17yr olds don’t get cabs). That’s really sad if they’ve missed out on that whole pile of fun.

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 22:38

arethereanyleftatall · 27/07/2026 22:37

This is what I assumed by their posts so stopped bothering responding to them. Very strange.

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Must be the heat 😂

arethereanyleftatall · 27/07/2026 22:37

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 22:14

I honestly can't see how, if you can read and understand English, you have decided this is about OP not wanting to drive to pick up her daughter. I'm guessing you're just having us on? Strange but takes all sorts, I guess.

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This is what I assumed by their posts so stopped bothering responding to them. Very strange.

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 22:18

VestibuleWeaver · 27/07/2026 22:16

Yes, you are. At 17, my niece is away at uni. Her mum certainly isn’t forbidding her from going places or preventing her travelling by taxi.

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Someone tell literally every Scottish parent with a kid at uni that they're not real people if they let their 17 yo baby leave home unsupervised

Timeforachange26 · 27/07/2026 22:18

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:08

There is literally no real life parent of a 17 year old girl other than on mumsnet who would let them get a taxi at midnight. But 🤣

And mine wouldn’t have in 1992 either if I was alone.

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So what when the parents CANT drive or don't own a car?

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 27/07/2026 22:18

No wonder younger people are struggling to navigate the workplace/real life and plan think for themselves and solve their own issues
I despair !

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 22:17

Gooseling · 27/07/2026 22:15

Accusing a bunch of rational people as being “Russian bots” for thinking it’s perfectly ok for a 17yo to go to a late screening cinema show - you definitely are being ridiculous 🤣🤣🤣

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And that no-one in real life would let their 17 year old take a taxi 😂
Do they know that tonnes of (actual) children travel to school and back by taxi every day? Although of course the nice daytime taxi drivers get replaced by axe murderers after the watershed.

VestibuleWeaver · 27/07/2026 22:16

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:11

Nah I’m not the one being ridiculous here.

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Yes, you are. At 17, my niece is away at uni. Her mum certainly isn’t forbidding her from going places or preventing her travelling by taxi.

Gooseling · 27/07/2026 22:15

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:11

Nah I’m not the one being ridiculous here.

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Accusing a bunch of rational people as being “Russian bots” for thinking it’s perfectly ok for a 17yo to go to a late screening cinema show - you definitely are being ridiculous 🤣🤣🤣

Wingwalk · 27/07/2026 22:14

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/07/2026 22:12

i can read thanks 🤡

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I honestly can't see how, if you can read and understand English, you have decided this is about OP not wanting to drive to pick up her daughter. I'm guessing you're just having us on? Strange but takes all sorts, I guess.