AIBU for not wanting a relationship with my neighbour?

Well that's your problem solved then. You tell her to keep her feral kids from screaming and bothering you and then she will def not want to be friends with you.

This is something I feel quite sad about, the lack of communication with neighbours. You don't have to be best friends, just an extra friend.

I moved from a lovely cul de sac, all friends but lived our own lives, there for each other for parcels and emotional support for a chat.

Miss this so much moving to a street where you don't know anyone's names and even the next door neighbours you share a house with remain as complete strangers after 3 years!

It feels so lonely and something I've realised about 'normal 'suburbs.

If all within your own little bubble is perfect then I guess I can sort of understand but this isn't reality.

Saying “I don’t really like people” is really odd. Life is people! You wouldn’t have a partner if you hadn’t given a person a chance at one point.

If you can’t understand what she’s saying and “don’t like people” is it possible you’re misunderstanding basic niceties as something more? It’s very normal to be friendly with neighbours, it’s not the same as being friends.

I think it's really hard to respond because there's no evidence of her wanting to be your friend from what you've said. Mind you I'm the wrong person to ask - I'm going for a drink with one of my neighbours on Saturday and while she's away next week I've offered to take in any parcels for her. I like community, but if it's not for you, it's not for you I guess.

Does she bring you food and suggest you get the babys together?

have you considered a disguise?

can you give some examples of what she is actually doing?

Fuck her! The friendly bitch.

What do you mean you don't like people? What about "people" don't you like? Or do just mean you're introverted.

I would definitely not make any overt statement to her like "not liking people". It makes you sound really odd and creepy.

I have an overly verbose and chatty neighbour who used to be a bit needy. Think phone calls at 11pm asking for my husband because their boiler had broken. Also repetitive complaints or requests to resolve things like bits of plant climbing over the wall.

The truth is they are lonely and also have nothing else to occupy their time (neither work for legit reasons which I won't reveal). They are also IMO a little bit vulnerable but have family close by and with two children of my own, a husband, two cats and a demanding job, I just didn't have time to be that neighbour. If they were in actual need we did help, but I also learned how to wave and smile then dash off quickly "nice to see you, sorry I don't have time to chat".

I have to say after one particularly vexing set of obsessive phone calls and complaints about a climbing plant that had trickled over, I actually got rid of our landline and made sure they never got my mobile phone number. They meant no harm but it was getting a bit like harassment. I sought very hard not to get resentful though. I just dealt with it pragmatically.

Just be unavailable.

Actually this would come off as entirely rude and very very strange.

You can't force friendship. You can be cordial and polite but with boundaries.
People who want to be all over you like a rash very early on are often red flags!

So many people on this thread will be the same people who complain that 'community' or community spirit doesn't exist anymore.

🤣

I second this. I’d also include a sentence stating that if she keeps harassing you in this way, you’ll lodge a complaint with the police. Use google translate to translate into her language if need be. You need to be forthright, and not compromise on your boundaries. Good luck. Stay strong.

When you say she “seems pushy in wanting some kind of friendship with me”. How so? What is she doing?

That would work, they’d think you’re a proper weirdo and will steer well clear.

But seriously, it’s not rocket science, just give them a smile and hello if you see them and don’t engage further. Short but polite replies. ‘-How are you? - Good thanks, hope you’re alright’ and off you go.

It seems you are unsocial, one of my neighbours, I’m protective of has Down’s syndrome, always out, great friends with her mum.
i live in a cul de sac and for a few years bbqs, now past that stage, small cul de sac

I completely understand the desire to not be dragged into having to socialise but saying you “don’t really like people” is ridiculous and self defeating. This phrase is one of my pet hates.

Your OH is a person presumably? As are your family and friends?

My new neighbour kept saying we should have a coffee together (they have coffees with other neighbours). I smile, say hello and keep walking. I take in parcels, I return their dogs when they climb through the hedge, and I continue to smile and walk. Not had that coffee yet and it's been over a year 😆

She will understand Fuck Off. May as well say that since that's really what you want your neighbours to do. Be true to yourself so.

'Neighbouring'?!

You don’t have to be best mates but there’s no harm in saying a friendly hello. Don’t do anything rude like putting a note through the door or telling her you don’t ‘neighbour’ - that’s unacceptable and unnecessary.

I’m the same as you OP. I just smile and wave and that’s the limit.