AIBU to be mildly annoyed when greeted in my own home throughout the day?

Have you been together long? Enjoy your lovely engaging husband while you can, soon enough he'll only acknowledge your existence when he can't find his pants socks, own ass with a map, etcetera.

This is the approach I take with my husband. He usually laughs and calls me a piss taker.

We've been married for 40 years, so I suppose I'm generally immune to the inane questions, but occasionally I'll snap 😄

Yes. This is what DH does. Verbalises every inane passing thought that goes through his head.

I don't know if he understands that other people have lots of thoughts they don't verbalise

Are you possibly just together too much ? You call yourself old, are you retired? I know myself and knew 24/7 just round the house would do my head in when he retired. We have settled over the last 18 months in to a way of living that suits us both. When at home I have my voluntary work so I’m out doing it about 15 hours a week over 3 days. When we are travelling together it’s together 24/7 but that feels very different. We will hopefully now have six months of each every year for as long as possible.

But it sounds like it's many, many times throughout each day rather than just every day.

Poor man. You sound difficult to live with. It is normal everyday interaction between a couple.

I would be SO HAPPY if DH did this. It's just friendly and companionable and shows he cares and is interested.

I'd try to see it in that light, and appreciate what you have.

I can barely get a grunt out of my DH, he walks around with a thundercloud over his head most of this time.

I have to say that FILs constant pronouncements are profoundly irritating (for me and everyone else as far as i can tell from the strained smiles / frosty looks) . You can’t walk into a room or round a corner without him proclaiming ‘oh here, it’s Woffle! How are you my dear?’ Even if you’ve just been for a pee 🙄 Every single time.

It's completely normal for some people. My DH has a habit asking me if I am too warm or too cold and suggesting adjustments to my clothes! I have to remind him I am over 12. But he's only showing interest.

I totally get this, my DH's favourite is to come into the room and say 'what's going on' - I want to reply 'what the fuck does it look likes going on'

usually I'm just cleaning something and it's obvious 'what's going on'

but then i'm peri-meno and have no patience for anyone or anything 😅

Oh look, a psychologist has entered the chat.
OP has tried to clarify and add further information because of ill thought out comments.
It's just something that irks her, and we all have our little things that drive us mad we are only human.......

I understand this could get annoying OP. Of course it’s possible to be annoyed by the ones you love without wanting the relationship to end so just disregard such advice. :) I do think it’s lovely your husband is so keen to engage with you that he will come out with the most trivial rubbish. 😂 My husband is the silent type who doesn’t speak unless it’s necessary- I’m an extrovert so do struggle with this at times. I’d love him to engage in trivial chitchat once in a while and sometimes I find myself trying to get him to talk - it’s a bit lonely to be in the same room as someone who doesn’t want to engage. Maybe that’s why your husband does this?

I think both DH and I do this. It’s really interesting to hear it described as ‘bids for connection’, which can be accepted or rejected. Probably we each accept some (and respond happily) and reject or get irritated by others (and snap / ignore / respond sarcastically). There will be times when you are open to reconnecting with your partner, and times when you just want to be left in your own head and not interrupted.

i would hazard a guess that someone making constant attempts to connect is feeling insecure? My FIL does this all the time, and also the narrating of every little action or thought that passes through his head. He a very insecure and anxious person, and looking for constant reassurance - both that he’s doing the right thing and that people love and care for him.

These sound like very typical and common interactions, the fact that you get so irritated with your husband for acknowledging you and speaking to you suggests you really don’t like him. Living your day in near silence and only greeting eachother in the morning if you have slept separately is very strange.

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice I've just read your follow up with the obvious questions which are always answered yes ' Sat down? ' yes' and my mum does this ! It's a bid for connection, and it does feel irritating I agree. Have you tried speaking to him first to ward it off?

My ex used to do this, but it was always “are you alright/how are you doing” I wouldn’t have minded the odd one but it was literally every time I came in. So I could have been sat with him for hours then popped to the toilet or kitchen for 10 seconds. Life is about balance, too much or little of anything isn’t good.

Mine can be like that, he has an inner dialogue going on which often escapes....

So banal and irritating - it would drive me mad too. If my husband asks stupid questions he gets treated to stupid answers so maybe try that?

I agree this can be annoying if it happens too often. I deal with it by giving stupid answers back. I'm sitting on the sofa, "watching TV? "No I'm baking a cake." Putting the hoover back in the cupboard "All finished?" "No I'm still upstairs cleaning the bedrooms." DH finds my answers as irritating as I find his questions so it stops it at least for a while.

We’re the opposite. DH disappears and doesn’t return and he’s set up somewhere doing some involved thing. Walks past me without eye contact. Honestly I might as well be furniture.

I’ve more or less copied him recently and he’s started turning up and hovering slightly anxiously while I continue to take no notice. I’m pleased he’s starting to realise that there is social oil that makes relationships work, and it’s his turn to do it.

Genuinely, when we had a dog, DS and DH were more socially competent with the dog than with people.

Walking past you and not acknowledging you would be far worse (in my view) it’s very pointed.

You sound very irritable tbh!

I’d find this very irritating as well OP! You are not alone.

I get it OP, you feel like you are talking to Ned Flanders..... Okily-dokily!!

I quelled mine doing it so much by giving a thumbs up to the rhetorical questions or slightly sarcastic responses in an amusing way to make him see that saying 'All clean'?, when I've just spent an hour in the bath an washing my hair was pointless. I'd respond with a laugh and saying well yes, I wasn't bathing in mud or that water n soap weren't doing their job so well if I wasn't etc, but I was nice about it....

Better to say something than nothing, if he walked past without a word I would think something was wrong. Although my DH would probably say what he was doing or about to do rather than ask what I'm doing. Is that worse?