DP wants to end relationship over old videos on my phone

The phone thing is bad but if my partner had videos of him with an ex that would be worse

Sorry if I’m being cynical but …

Are you sure your relationship was as strong as you think?
Maybe he was just waiting for an excuse to walk away?

Meanwhile, take time to edit your photos.

He’ll get over it

All of this is what will happen.

So keeping sex videos with an ex on your phone is OK now? Not disrespectful to the current partner at all?

He was going through your phone? Absolutely not. You’ve dodged a bullet. Please don’t take him back.

In the days before smartphones, my ex went through my photos and burned any with men in them. Exes, male friends, male relatives. None were x rated but that’s not relevant. They went up in flames.

I didn’t leave him and it got so much worse.

Please don’t try to get this man back.

If someone is checking your phone take that as a pretty good indicator he’s an abuser. If you stay expect to be abused. He will likely call you a slag, justify controlling who you see, what you wear etc. Do yourself a favour and see this as a lucky escape then make sure you complete the freedom programme.

Did he understand that these were from a previous relationship?

I think hes wrong for going through your phone. You had a previous relationship and forgotten remnants were on your phone. Youve doje nothinb wrong imo. However he is in the wrong and your still entitled to your privacy and hes invaded yours, phones are so personal now, a bit like a diary and hes wrong to have gone through yours.

All of this. This might be the first time he “went mental” but it won’t be the last. Don’t let it be with you, OP.

He shouldn't have gone through your phone. That said, if this was the other way round and you found a video of his ex the majority of responses would be LTB and that he is a perv who kept them there for his own pleasure. That's clearly not happened with you, but his mind going there is completely understandable. I'd end the relationship if I found videos of my partner with their ex on his phone.

If you still have your x rated video on your phone, chances are your ex still has it on his.

He could do ANYTHING with it.

Don't let men film shit like this…

I would breathe a sigh of relief! He has shown you exactly who he is and saved you the bother of having to end the relationship. Leave him blocked, do not contact him. If he has left anything g at yours, pack it up and drop it off at a friend's, asking them to return the stuff to him.

You were happy for your P to be on your phone so he should know you weren't hiding anything. His reaction is extreme, but tbh I wouldn't be happy coming across something similar.

Maybe give him a few days to calm down and have a chat. I'm guessing he wasn't a virgin when you got together, so knows everyone has a sexual past.
Eta I'm assuming you were aware he was looking at your phone and had given the ok. If not, dump him.

Some things you need to know-
If a partner is going through your phone, the relationship is over.
You are allowed to have a history
It’s wise not to make sex videos, as they tend to cause you trouble. Never let anyone coerce you into it.
You don’t need to let men check your phone, or film you having sex.

You should be dumping him for going through your phone. The rest is irrelevant.

I assume that IS what is it, no?

The wording suggests it is x rated, she said she didn't really want to do it and her face wasn't visible.

Ive read plenty of posts on MN where people have gone through their dp’s phone. The general consensus seems to be that he should have no issues unless he has something to hide 🤷‍♀️

Why?

Even if it was, it's not up to him what she has on her phone and she'd forgotten it was there anyway.

Unless it's an x rated video of you and your ex getting down to it, your current DP is being completely ridiculous
I thought it was when she said he face wasn't visible and rhat she was extremely stupid for doubt it in the first place.

To be honest, I wouldn't be over the moon if dh had a video of him and his ex doing a porno on his phone. I'd be unlikely to find it because I only use his phone to Shazam if my phones not around but that's not the point.

You have done nothing wrong.
You’re allowed to have had sexual partners prior to him.
This man has shown you who he is. Block him.
Do not apologise. Do not justify yourself.
Do not unblock him. He’s done you a favour.

So what if it is? She forgot about it, it's a non-issue

You should have ended it the minute he went through your phone. I’ve been married for over thirty years and DH and I do not go through each others’ phones.