DP wants to end relationship over old videos on my phone

100%

It's not up to us..You have to fix it with him if you want the relationship to carry on..

Stop contacting him.
He is jealous and controlling.
His response is not acceptable.

Time to rethink your relationship.
Maybe rethink keeping those videos too.

He can end the relationship for any reason. I don't think I would have been able to get over saved sex videos with ex either. But he shouldn't act 'mental' about it.

My gut says he's either done something he's guilty for and is projecting or the relationship is already over for him and be was looking for a way out without it being 'his fault'. The reaction seems OTT, why was he looking on your phone anyway?

No one forced him to watch the videos.

Was your recent holiday 10 years ago?

Sounds like he’s been snooping which is an issue in itself.

You know it wasn’t good to have kept the videos but if it really was as innocent as forgetting you had them(..!) then fine however it’s not a good thing for a partner to stumble across.

The way he communicates in a relationship also isn’t good - you need a chance to explain calmly so I hope he will allow you that however, I’ll say again, he was snooping and are you happy to have that from a partner? Surely the trust is a bit broken both sides?

This is far too rational a post for MNs!

He's jealous, immature, and controlling. The trash took itself out. Find yourself a calm, stable man who isn't knocked off his perch by things like this. An who doesn't threaten relationship armageddon over things you did before you met. Thank God you don't live with him or are married to him.

They are X-rated videos. She said she wasn't keen on them being taken and her face isn't visible.

Men can get ridiculously jealous and then act stupidly (and women too!) about previous relationships. Or he could just be looking for an excuse to break up and would rather blame you for it.

Why was he scrolling deep into your phone reel???

Wait for his apology. Do not grovel to him, it’s an old forgotten video.
He reacted badly. I hope he sees that, if he continues to be annoyed dump him, it’ll be the start of his mood controlling your life.

Given he had a valid reason to be on your phone and it seems he found the video by accident, he is not unreasonable to feel hurt and upset, as our feelings aren't always rational, and it must have been a shock to stumble over that.

His behaviour towards you, however, is massively unreasonable. He should have the maturity to understand that you haven't actually done anything wrong, and it was from years ago.

A reasonable reaction would've been to be shocked, to ask you about it, and then having heard your explanation, ask you to delete it (I think that would be a fair request). Storming off in a rage is entirely over the top, and if he comes creeping back shamefacedly and you really wanted to give him another chance because you believe his reaction was out of character and the relationship is otherwise worth it, I'd make it very clear that the next time he behaved like that would be the last, because you'd end it on the spot.

People seem to fail to understand that you don't have to scroll, photo apps, group by categories and also have a search capability.

It sounds like they allow each other to use their phones. I think he has overreacted, but it can't be very nice to watch a video like that, even if it is old.

Presumably she means she wouldn't want to be videoed having s*x
What bit didn't you get?

Interesting when OP's partner "stumbled" 😂on the videos, he didn't get embarrassed and move quickly on, once he realised what they were. No, he was so horrified that he took the time to sit and watch them all. Isn't that a bit like walking in on someone sitting on their own loo and instead of exiting quickly, hanging around complaining you don't like the smell of shit?

He's not feeling betrayed, he's feeling insecure. You've had an "active" life before you met him and he doesn't like that. Plus, you've never looked at the videos since but he still chooses to believe you're lying because it justifies his outrage.
OP if you stay with this man, this will be thrown in your face whenever you argue. Move on.

Let him go, he wants to go, let him.. He sounds like the sort who's not going to forget this anyway going forward and that would be tiresome to say the least.
You'll be ok, perhaps even better than with someone who reacts like this.

It's over, OP is sad, but there's no way back; he will no longer be able to get the images out of his head. I also think it's a good reminder not to have any explicit content on your devices from previous partners, as I don't believe anyone would be overjoyed at discovering it

I wouldn’t normally rush to say end a relationship but OP you’re not in the wrong here.. he is. You should be angry with him. He can’t have ‘accidentally’ come across the video and if he has it’s none of his business, it was an old relationship. I would be really peed off by this and worried about him being overbearingly jealous in the future.Or sorry to say it but this is just an excuse from him to end things. If it were me at the very least I wouldn’t contact him and would let him get in touch first.

Or different members of MN are responding to this thread? I have never encouraged someone to snoop through someone's phone and never would, man or woman.

Course they wouldn’t. People are such hypocrites it’s unbelievable. First, going through someone’s phone is actively encouraged by many on here when the owner of the phone is male. Second, people would be full of sympathy and advocate ending the relationship if someone discovered a sex video of their partner with an ex. I can’t compute keeping it and forgetting about it. Equally I would be so upset and consider ending the relationship if my partner had a sex video with his ex saved on his phone. I wouldn’t believe it’s the sort of thing someone forgets they have and I’d see it as an active choice not to delete it. I’d also find it hard to look at him the same way if I’d seen him having sex with his ex.

I'm not very possessive of my husband but if I saw that on his phone I would be knocked completely sick & probably pretty nuclear ngl

I can certainly understand why he would be upset to come across that on your phone. But his reaction was over the top on my opinion. He may feel differently when he's calmed down. Unless of course he was looking for a reason to end things?

He may not necessarily have had to scroll back through 10 years of videos, my phone sorts images by trips, faces er.