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Original poster

To ask ds to ask his gf to dress appropriately?

187 replies

Daisypod · 26/07/2026 20:26

We are going to a national trust place soon and ds has asked if his relatively new gf can come. I’m fine with that but she does tend to wear very revealing clothing (skirts only covering half her bum!)
Would I be unreasonable to ask for her to dress a little more conservatively for the day? If so how would you say it?
I really try to not judge others clothing choices but honestly I think showing this much is a bit much for a family day out.

OP posts:
Namechangetheyarewatching · 26/07/2026 21:19

Fluffyscrubberdo · 26/07/2026 21:18

it was literally only covering half the cheeks, worn with stockings and suspenders with a g string. I think most people would think that a bit much for a family outing!

There is no part of me that believes this.

Honestly I was out on Friday evening and a woman was wearing this

Steeleydan · 26/07/2026 21:19

Daisypod · 26/07/2026 20:26

We are going to a national trust place soon and ds has asked if his relatively new gf can come. I’m fine with that but she does tend to wear very revealing clothing (skirts only covering half her bum!)
Would I be unreasonable to ask for her to dress a little more conservatively for the day? If so how would you say it?
I really try to not judge others clothing choices but honestly I think showing this much is a bit much for a family day out.

Sounds boring as hell, cant imagine she'll be remotely interested in going,why did you invite her if you think her clothing will be inappropriate. Its only National Trust, not the garden party at Buckingham Palace

Fluffyscrubberdo · 26/07/2026 21:18

it was literally only covering half the cheeks, worn with stockings and suspenders with a g string. I think most people would think that a bit much for a family outing!

There is no part of me that believes this.

Original poster
Daisypod · 26/07/2026 21:16

Ok ok I take the point and I won’t say anything.
i know I certainly wore questionable clothes when I was young (t shirt with Jesus is a cunt on the back) but that was to nightclubs, not family events.
Also I’m not taking about a short skirt that shows some bum when walking, it was literally only covering half the cheeks, worn with stockings and suspenders with a g string. I think most people would think that a bit much for a family outing!

OP posts:
OwlBeThere · 26/07/2026 21:16

SpaceShark · 26/07/2026 20:39

"There is no objectively “correct” way to dress."

Of course there is. Would you wear a polka dot bikini to a funeral? Maybe you would, but more fool you.

Show quote history

There are social norms about what is ‘correct’ to wear to a funeral, but those norms are different in every culture and society. There are some cultures where it’s perfectly acceptable to turn up to a funeral naked. So there definitely isn’t one correct way to dress.

ARingtoit · 26/07/2026 21:16

It would come across as deranged if you did this, sorry! I'm sure it would really embarrass your son.

BabblingBiddy · 26/07/2026 21:16

I went to a NT place recently with a younger relative (18). She wore those tiny, tight shorts with matching cropped top that seem to be so trendy. Nothing bad happened. We had a lovely day, and i miss having a figure like hers.

Steeleydan · 26/07/2026 21:16

DontrockthecaravanGeoffrey · 26/07/2026 20:31

Skirts only covering half her bum????

Meaning you can see her knickers as she walks away

NiceKipperTie · 26/07/2026 21:15

ChopstickNovice · 26/07/2026 21:02

I had an ex whose mum often commented that my clothing was "too bright" or "awfully colourful." I like bright colours, and I wasn't wearing neon - think coral, sunshine yellow etc. Her comments did not endear me to her.

When I was a teenager, I also had an ex whose mother constantly criticised my clothing. I was told my skirts/shorts were too short and she mentioned it every time I wore black or DM boots . Occasionally, she would comment that I was wearing something which looked secondhand (yep) or like a man's shirt (also yep). I looked exactly like every other indie kid in the 90s! I avoided her as much as possible.

Netcurtainnelly · 26/07/2026 21:13

SummerDive · 26/07/2026 21:11

I didn’t realise there was a dress code for going to a NT place!
Maybe I’ve been out of line for ages 😱😱

There isn't lol. The OP disapproves of the clothing lol. Forgetting she was young once.
Who wants to go to a national trust place anyway

Floatlikeafeather2 · 26/07/2026 21:13

Overtheatlantic · 26/07/2026 21:01

I wouldn’t say anything, but I wouldn’t take her either. She should have a variety of clothes for different occasions like most people do. Festivals and concerts, fine to show your arse. Afternoon with bf’s mum, show some respect instead.

Which she might well do.

familyissues12345 · 26/07/2026 21:12

Does a short skirt affect her walking ability?

No op, I don’t think you can say anything, unless you have little value in your relationship with your son

greencatwitch · 26/07/2026 21:12

I am with you on this OP.

As usual you are getting a lot of comments about how this young woman should be able to dress as she wishes, blah, blah, blah...

The thing is you are allowed to have standards and not want to be around someone who might turn up with half of their backside hanging out in full view or wearing any other inappropriate clothing.

You are planning a family day out not a trip to an Only Fans convention...

I bet most of the people commenting here and trying to make you feel judgmental would change their tune very quickly if their own kids' boyfriend/girlfriend routinely wore that type of clothes.

Netcurtainnelly · 26/07/2026 21:11

ChopstickNovice · 26/07/2026 21:02

I had an ex whose mum often commented that my clothing was "too bright" or "awfully colourful." I like bright colours, and I wasn't wearing neon - think coral, sunshine yellow etc. Her comments did not endear me to her.

What a weird woman she sounds your clothing sounds lovely. Bright colours are nice. Glad you took no notice. Nothing to do with her anyway.
Bet she walked round in morbid black and grey all the time lol.

SummerDive · 26/07/2026 21:11

I didn’t realise there was a dress code for going to a NT place!
Maybe I’ve been out of line for ages 😱😱

SaySomethingMan · 26/07/2026 21:11

Overtheatlantic · 26/07/2026 21:01

I wouldn’t say anything, but I wouldn’t take her either. She should have a variety of clothes for different occasions like most people do. Festivals and concerts, fine to show your arse. Afternoon with bf’s mum, show some respect instead.

Agree
I would find a reason to not take her along.

SummerInSun · 26/07/2026 21:10

SpaceShark · 26/07/2026 20:39

"There is no objectively “correct” way to dress."

Of course there is. Would you wear a polka dot bikini to a funeral? Maybe you would, but more fool you.

Show quote history

Ok, there is no objectively “correct” way to dress at a national trust property!

4t4 · 26/07/2026 21:09

Just don’t comment and let her wear whatever she wants

morbidcuriosity · 26/07/2026 21:09

Imagine it the other way.. Ill only come if your mother doesn't wear them shorts, I think they look horrible!!

you would be fuming.. just cos you dont like what she wears doesnt mean you can change her..

RevengeOfTheDirtyLaundry · 26/07/2026 21:08

sassyduck · 26/07/2026 20:50

Do not say anything. It will 100% end badly for you.

Correct.

zanahoria · 26/07/2026 21:08

"If so how would you say it?"

How about "could you wear a skirt that covers the whole of your bum?"

Terfarina · 26/07/2026 21:08

Why do you care! So what if her skirt is short - you’re not wearing it so not your problem. And maybe you will get some cool points for having this lass with you.

hahabahbag · 26/07/2026 21:07

As far as the argument some say that you can wear whatever you like, there is a decency issue, today I saw more bum cheeks than I care to, hanging out from short shorts and I know that some young women don’t wear any pants under skirts, others wear thongs, i should not know this information but I had a few hundred people walk past me at an event and they were flashing too much! Saw more men’s bare chests than I wanted to too.

Lexy2345 · 26/07/2026 21:07

Don’t take her if you’re going to be embarrassed by what she wears. National Trust properties aren’t that flipping posh.

Nousernameideaaga · 26/07/2026 21:06

HollyhocksandPeons · 26/07/2026 20:55

Your DS should be able to sort it out himself, such as 'Tomorrow we are going out, as a group, with my parents. They have been properly brought up and they get terribly embarrassed when they are seen in a group with inappropriate people, inappropriate meaning behaviour, clothes, any outward signs. I would like to ask you not to embarrass them and dress appropriately, I don't want my parents to feel awkward'.

Wot?

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