Feeling like an alien for choosing one child

58 replies

NorthernWildflower · 26/07/2026 11:20

Wherever we go I always feel like there’s something wrong with us, as our family of three.
Everyone else seems to be with two or more children.

We have chosen to stop at one because of my mental health, neurodiversity and my son has been very difficult from day one.

I was out today with a friend who has three kids and one on the way and I just felt like an alien. I can’t really relate to her experiences at all, most people I know have more than one or are pregnant at the moment, it’s really difficult to know what to do.

My DS is nearly 8, so I wish we’d just gone for it sooner.

OP posts:

Hydrating · 26/07/2026 11:35

I choose to have none.

5foot5 · 26/07/2026 11:35

Seems like only a week or two since I saw a very similar thread on here.

Nothing wrong or even particularly unusual about having only one child. We did. Our "child" is 30 now and I believe had a perfectly happy childhood and we always got on very well and have some good memories of things we did together as a family. She was also able to get on well with other kids and had plenty of friends.

Frankly there are so many reports these days of people choosing not to have DC, delaying having DC and having fewer children when they do then I suspect your small family is closer to the norm than you think. I think it is actually weird that you say you feel like an alien for making a perfectly legitimate decision that is shared by many, many others

PeonieLover · 26/07/2026 11:33

It's fine, so many people have just one child for a variety of different of reasons. I was planning on one only due to a difficult birth but foumd I was pregnant with dd.

It was a risky pregnancy so having a 3rd would have been dangerous for me but now I have 2 and I am grateful for that.

You need to embrace and accept the choices that you've made but it's also ok to be sad about not having a 2nd if that is how you feel.

OriginalSkang · 26/07/2026 11:33

I only have one and my mental health was a major factor in that

I don't feel anything but relief when I'm around peiple with more than one. My DD has always been adamant that she doesn't want siblings. I don't regret it at all

WhatAMarvelousTune · 26/07/2026 11:31

I think this is just a case of you noticing it more. Nearly half of families with children have only one child.

Screamingabdabz · 26/07/2026 11:29

Is it too late?

RoseField1 · 26/07/2026 11:28

I was always a family of two with my DS so even less 'normal'. The trick is to not give a shit what other people think about your family :)

Tink3rbell30 · 26/07/2026 11:27

It's fine. Siblings aren't guaranteed friends and so many don't even get on or bother. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, very silly to have another just to follow the herd.

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