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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

415 replies

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 10:57

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

OP posts:
Thepossibility · 27/07/2026 22:20

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2026 11:12

You don't NEED the top, as you will be wearing something on your top half already. You WANT the top.

Well sure. In that vein they also don't need to go out for dinner, they want to. And you don't need to be on Mumsnet...

changeme4this · 27/07/2026 22:15

Settle him at the pub and pop back.

Dreamcatcherat50 · 27/07/2026 22:03

This cannot be real. For fuck's sake this is the third in as many days.

Get rid of these men and live your lives!!!!

MzMazzaa · 27/07/2026 21:52

Omg!! I was once married to a controlling husband. He started off like that telling when I could or couldn't do things. It eventually got to a point where I was a prisoner in my own home. I was also abused by him.

Don't let him treat you like this. He will think he can get away with it.

Janus · 27/07/2026 21:49

Er what?? You were walking past the shop and he wouldn’t ‘let’ you go in?? Honestly why did you even ask? If he hates shopping tell him to go for a pint and get him to order you a drink while he’s waiting for you. What utter nonsense.

Moveoverdarlin · 27/07/2026 21:42

Contrarymary30 · 27/07/2026 21:37

So glad I'm single when I read things like this .

I don’t know any woman in relationship who would have acted like the OP has. Every woman I know would have said ‘You seem to be confused, I’m not asking if it’s ok, I AM GOING in to the shop to buy the top. I’ll be 10 minutes’.

Contrarymary30 · 27/07/2026 21:37

So glad I'm single when I read things like this .

Newpostnewnamenew · 27/07/2026 21:35

Can’t believe you actually let him stop you. I’d have told him I was going anyway- he’s not the boss!

Mumofthreeteenagers · 27/07/2026 21:30

Yabu to be controlled like this.

HazelOP1972 · 27/07/2026 21:29

You should have got the strop on because he said no, lol. Tell him to doom scroll on his phone for ten mins whilst you are in the shop, jeeeez, it's hardly something to get the hump over ... what's wrong with him. He could pop into a shop he likes for ten mins. He isn't your boss! Go get your top and enjoy the concert which hopefully you are going to with other people not him!!x

StolenTeapots · 27/07/2026 21:29

Yabu because you should just go when passing. Ignore him. Why have you said you won't go

Carpedimum · 27/07/2026 21:22

This is a training and development issue.

FeetupTvon · 27/07/2026 21:19

Why are you even asking him?

purpleflowersfordays · 27/07/2026 21:19

Sorry I clicked you are being unreasonable but only because you should have ignored him and gone into the shop. He needs to grow up

Moveoverdarlin · 27/07/2026 21:10

I would treat him like a stroppy child ‘wait here, let mummy buy her top and I’ll buy you a pudding.’

What a dick. How do women put up with this? Why are women so weak and accepting of this shit?

Moveoverdarlin · 27/07/2026 21:06

This scenario just wouldn’t happen in any healthy relationship. Whether the couple were in their teens or 90s.

I’d just get it. I don’t need permission to walk in a fucking shop. If my DH said we’re not shopping today I’d say ‘We’re not. I am. Just wait outside the shop like a good doggie and STFU while I buy the top. Good boy’.

So many women on here are fucking saps.

Weirdwonderfully · 27/07/2026 21:03

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 10:57

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

I wouldn’t of even asked id of said im
going in here I’ll catch you up. Not giving him permission to say no to me

LilacReader · 27/07/2026 21:01

I only voted YABU because you didn't run in and grab it anyway - what a waste of time and money to go back!

ShelleyCarpenter · 27/07/2026 20:21

I can’t believe you are actually considering go back another day to buy the top. Can’t you hear how ridiculous that is?

Edamcheese · 27/07/2026 20:20

What an utterly controlling bastard just ignore him and on the way back from going to buy it make an appointment to see a solicitor. Don’t put up with that shit. We’re are not living in the past century where men controlled us women .

Sheepsmellnice · 27/07/2026 20:11

He's a bloody idiot go in and get the top

MySneakyLion · 27/07/2026 20:08

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2026 11:12

You don't NEED the top, as you will be wearing something on your top half already. You WANT the top.

SO WHAT!

She is an autonomous human being and can do/want/get whatever she likes.

Fucking MRA bots.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 27/07/2026 19:58

Mumsnet seems to have a lot of posts from Women with controlling Husbands/Partners.

Are these becoming stressed because of the COLC or do they get worse with age?

He has spoken to you and treated you as though you are a child. Who has to ask permission to do certain things. And he should not be defined.

Don't take any notice of him. Get your top and just ignore him. He's a prat.

Oscillating · 27/07/2026 19:56

MerryUmberHedgehog · 27/07/2026 19:50

Do you REALLY NEED this top?

Does it matter?

Even if she doesn't need it... She is still allowed to go into a fucking shop when she wants to....

Oscillating · 27/07/2026 19:55

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 11:00

He hates shopping ,so anytime I suggest any sort of shops ,he kicks off

So let him sulk. I'd have just said "see you at x, I'm just popping in to get that top"

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