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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

415 replies

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 10:57

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

OP posts:
SorrellNightwind · 28/07/2026 09:19

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 11:00

He hates shopping ,so anytime I suggest any sort of shops ,he kicks off

Well he can wait 10 mins for you to go in and get it.

Or you can go out on your own and have a much better time

nc42day · 28/07/2026 09:05

ClovisWrites · 28/07/2026 07:41

Do you perhaps have a “one more thing” habit? As in, you’re supposed to be spending a day together and you just want to stop off for one thing… and oh maybe we should try that other shop to compare… and while we’re here… and just one more thing…

There may be context to his attitude!

Even if there was a "one more thing habit" it's not on the DP to veto the OP popping into a shop they're walking past. He doesn't get to prohibit her from doing this. He can control his own decisions in response, and set a boundary, such as, I will continue on to the place we had planned and wait for you for half an hour, then I'll make my own plans for the rest of the day if you don't join me as you're shopping.

Not, you are not allowed.

Cooshawn · 28/07/2026 09:04

I think his attitude is appalling.

But I can sort of see his point, depending on specifics. If you'd be literally in the shop, pick your top up, pay and leave then he's being a dick. But if you're anything like my friends and would have a browse, be sidetracked by seeing something they like etc which results in being in there a while, I really get it. I hate shopping. My friends know I hate shopping. My husband knows I hate shopping. So they shop when I'm not with them.

Jack80 · 28/07/2026 08:31

I would have said you go and get a table and text me where you are and I will meet you.

ClovisWrites · 28/07/2026 07:41

Do you perhaps have a “one more thing” habit? As in, you’re supposed to be spending a day together and you just want to stop off for one thing… and oh maybe we should try that other shop to compare… and while we’re here… and just one more thing…

There may be context to his attitude!

Adifferentcorner · 28/07/2026 07:36

Why do you need his permission? If it was as easy as you said it was, I would have just said - oh by the way, I’m just popping into this shop on the way for a top I’ve ordered. It will only take a couple of minutes. I voted yanbu but at the same time this could have been handled a lot differently.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/07/2026 06:17

ShelleyCarpenter · 27/07/2026 23:55

You are absolutely right. I’m sorry I responded to her. I won’t bother again.

Show quote history

I did too before I was told there was a back story. Lesson learned!

Empress13 · 28/07/2026 06:00

Loulou4022 · 26/07/2026 10:59

“I’m not asking! I’m telling” I’m just nipping in to grab this top I won’t be 10 minutes, love you, bye

This …. Without the “I love you “

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 28/07/2026 05:54

Dh is a prick even more so op as you knew the top you wanted even if you wanted a browse so what.
I must be a rare breed I love shopping with DW whether if its for either of us.

Someonenewagain · 28/07/2026 05:30

Voted YABU for you letting him dictate to you and him being so controlling

Summerbay23 · 28/07/2026 05:25

ReadingSoManyThreads · 28/07/2026 01:15

YABU to have not just popped in and bought it anyway.

YANBU to be annoyed.

You didn't need his permission, he's not your boss, the fact you travelled all that way and didn't just get the top is baffling to me.

Your DH sounds like a moody, sulky arse. Has he any redeeming qualities?

This, YABU for not just going in and getting the top anyway. Odd behaviour from both of you.

Biscuitjockey · 28/07/2026 05:13

Feel like there’s more to this that we’re not getting.

OneFunGreyFish · 28/07/2026 02:23

Oh men love to be the boss don't they?

ReadingSoManyThreads · 28/07/2026 01:15

YABU to have not just popped in and bought it anyway.

YANBU to be annoyed.

You didn't need his permission, he's not your boss, the fact you travelled all that way and didn't just get the top is baffling to me.

Your DH sounds like a moody, sulky arse. Has he any redeeming qualities?

Booboobagins · 28/07/2026 00:54

Why did you do what he said and not what you wanted to do? He's not yoyr boss he's your partner. If he can't be reasonable, fuck him. It's his behaviour that's outrageous.

YANBU to be annoyed, but YABU to be a lame duck.

sheisforrealatiger · 28/07/2026 00:39

I would have just gone in and told him to wait outside. How long would you have been? I don’t get why you allowed him to stop you.

NoLifeguardOnDuty · 28/07/2026 00:32

Did you get the top?

ShelleyCarpenter · 27/07/2026 23:55

NoWordForFluffy · 27/07/2026 19:04

Anyone responding to her is wasting their time. I'm not sure what she really wants from MN.

Show quote history

You are absolutely right. I’m sorry I responded to her. I won’t bother again.

Doubledenim305 · 27/07/2026 23:28

🚩

truefigure · 27/07/2026 23:14

ReneesBigMole · 26/07/2026 11:05

I accidentally voted YABU, but I meant for listening to him and not just going and getting your top.

so did I but you are NOT being unreasonable, he is.

Stelladid · 27/07/2026 22:52

GordanoServices · 27/07/2026 18:41

As per previous threads. OP has disappeared. I’m sure she’ll create a new thread soon.

Oh dear, not another one 🙄

dottydaily · 27/07/2026 22:50

why are you asking him? i would just tell him i need to pop in to get something, he hates shoping,that's okay...but i'm sure you hate having to now return to town to get what you need tomorrow.dont ask in future jusy say what your doing...

Greenmouldycheese · 27/07/2026 22:46

Why did you listen?

cocoromo · 27/07/2026 22:45

I think you are unreasonable for bowing down to his nonsense. Why in earth would you agree to go another day when you are passing?? Please stick up for yourself, this is not normal.

CheeseWisely · 27/07/2026 22:36

I recognise your username OP. Another thread about this arsehole, another load of replies telling you to fuck him off, and yet you won’t will you? You’ll be back next week with another thread.

Why not go to the pub and then wait until he ditches you to chat to random people who probably don’t want chatting to, then pop back to the shop. He probably won’t even notice.

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