Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

I'm sorry.....have I read that right? You literally walked past the shop but are now going back tomorrow because he'll have a tantrum otherwise?

Your husband sounds like a toddler and you need to grow a pair! It's completely ridiculous and a slippery slope. Tell him to fuck off!

My husband would be the complete opposite and encourage me to go and get the top if I wanted it.

Genuinely, this is like coercive control. Screw him and go and get the bloody top!

Seeing it from another perspective is there something more to this than you just popping to get a top? Does he think you have enough clothes already, does he worry about the amount of money that is spent on clothes unnecessarily perhaps.

Bad communication on your part. You surprised them with no prior notice. Very selfish. Instead you should have said you were looking to buy the top when in town if ot fitted in with your plans. I suspect thenother half isnt invited to the concert either. Probably reacting to being taken for granted when you are going out for a girls night whilst he is left at home.

I feel really sad when I read posts like this. Sad and confused. This is no way to live a life, where you're so scared or beaten down that you can't even just go into a shop that he doesn't want to go in.

Very odd. My husband wouldnt dream on saying that neither would i.

Does he normally boss you around and treat you like a child ? Is everything you do together dictated by him?

What is wrong with you? Do you let him dictate what you can and cannot do all the time? I would have ignored him and gone in and got the top. I would not even have asked, just told him what I was doing. But then I wouldn't be married to a control freak in the first place.

Were the opposite, I hate shopping husband loves it. We’ve just got back from a 2 week holiday and he dragged me to the shops far more than I would have liked.

I didn’t stop him or get in a mood, I did find somewhere to sit down while he wandered.

We then did some things that I wanted to do.

It is called being grown ups and having a relationship. Sounds like your husband is a giant toddler.

He's a controlling and nasty twat.
Do what you want. Let him go in a mood.

Is he always this controlling?

Is he always this controlling?

He doesn't have to go in does he? What a prat.

WTAF! Very controlling. Tell him to sod off and get the top!

If I was walking past the shop I'd have just said that I was going in to get the top and if he didn't want to come in he should go to the pub and get the drinks in. There's no way it's reasonable to expect anyone to have to go back and spend money on train tickets and waste all that time. His bad moods are controlling what you do, don't play along if you can help it. He'll be thinking Yes, that worked! And he'll do it again and again.

Oh please do find something proper to worry about if uou must worry. Just go into the shop and purchase it. On your way past. Just get him told.

I was thinking this, they always seem to kick off if it doesn’t suit their plans. I’d be running for the hills if I was OP, you shouldn’t have to ask permission for anything or be told that you can go in another day x

OP. Do feel overwhelmed by all the advice you have received here?

I'm sure we would all like to know (well I would anyhow) just how you are going to proceed. I, along with countless others do hope you have the balls to get the garment you want, and to tell him where to get off.

Please update us.

I hate shopping too but someone popping into a shop wouldn't bother me. The only justification for his response in my eyes is if you have form for saying you are popping into one shop and then end up going into them all.

There certainly is. Read her previous threads.

Either you have form for going into shops for 10minutes and don’t come out for an hour

or

I am presuming these drinks you were going for were of the alcoholic kind.
Would you be delaying your dh from getting to his first drink.

Have met others like this. Nothing had to get in the way of getting to that first drink
Slippery slope to alcoholism. (Worked bar for years)

It concerns me that you are asking this question. You have a problem that is so much larger than a top. You seem to genuinely not recognize controlling behavior. Find help. Look for women's groups on breaking free from controlling partners. Start individual therapy, too. Pay attention to what everyone is saying on here. His behavior is so obvious, we all saw him in a few sentences. That is a VERY big problem.

That's just plain nasty! No other way to put it.

So much context left out it's truly nuts how anyone can give you solid advice.

Is this normal for you to do unscheduled shopping with him? Sure he doesn't like shopping, most men don't. You know this already. Did you understand that you are actually shopping when you buy something? Have you had examples with him in the past where you say you'll only be a minute and it last much longer? Does he truthfully have a reason to demand you do it on your time and not on shared time with him?

Context matters. Most of the replies you are getting don't.

You weren’t asking him to shop though. I’d hardly describe popping in to buy a top that you’d already decided you wanted as shopping!
He sounds very controlling and if you continue to give in to his demands, you are giving him permission to demand.