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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

415 replies

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 10:57

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 26/07/2026 11:15

My late DH hated shops and shopping (I mean clothes shopping) but he was always very happy to park himself in the pub whilst I went in. It would be different if you were going to be hours and that wasn't the plan. Tell him to wait for you in the pub. He's being a dick.

Tetchypants · 26/07/2026 11:15

YABU to ask him instead of telling him. Honestly, it’s pathetic you’re even considering having to go back another day.

hodgepodge21 · 26/07/2026 11:15

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2026 11:12

You don't NEED the top, as you will be wearing something on your top half already. You WANT the top.

She never says she needs it? She says she wants it, because she plans to wear it on Friday?

PrincessofWills · 26/07/2026 11:14

You have a problem and are being unreasonable to not just say I have an errand, back in a minute.

The time I have a partner who can dictate what I do, is the time I'll choose to be single again . . .

lookatmylife · 26/07/2026 11:14

Just get the top ffs!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/07/2026 11:14

You were warned not to marry him, OP…

BillieWiper · 26/07/2026 11:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

BillieWiper · 26/07/2026 11:13

I get that he may have feared you getting into the shop and then wanting to look at and try on a few different things. And he wasn't in the mood for clothes shopping. But when you reiterated you were just going to quickly get a specific top and nothing else that should've been fine.

I mean either way he could've just gone ahead and got the drinks in and sat at a table in the pub.

Gcn · 26/07/2026 11:13

I voted yabu - since when did you need his permission to pop into a shop?? Just do it.

SpaceRaccoon · 26/07/2026 11:13

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2026 11:12

You don't NEED the top, as you will be wearing something on your top half already. You WANT the top.

And? She's allowed wants.

DixonD · 26/07/2026 11:12

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2026 11:12

You don't NEED the top, as you will be wearing something on your top half already. You WANT the top.

Can’t you just wait in the pub?

Happyjoe · 26/07/2026 11:12

Why is he dictating what you do? Esp which takes about 10 mins and hardly a hold-up?

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2026 11:12

You don't NEED the top, as you will be wearing something on your top half already. You WANT the top.

EvagoraY · 26/07/2026 11:11

Don’t accept his ruling. You aren’t a minion under his reign, are you?

GoodViewOfThePeople · 26/07/2026 11:11

Don’t allow yourself to be bullied and manipulated like this. Explain to him that you are going to the shop to collect the top and that if he sulks or kicks off you consider that bullying and manipulative.
I’d almost be tempted to secretly record his reaction.
I don’t know how old you are or whether you have kids but if he doesn’t realise his mistake then I’d be rethinking things. Is he planning on being in charge of you for the rest of your life.
You also need to have a think about why your response to his command is to give in to it. Maybe consider therepy to try and help you get your thoughts in order and to try and understand why you have responded to this so passively. It’s not healthy.

It doesn’t sound like he even asked if you would reconsider and that he just immediately jumped to giving you a direct order.

Good luck. Don’t forget this is 100% on him.

bozzabollix · 26/07/2026 11:10

What?? Why would you go along with that? Just go and get the bloody top, he can fuck off.

DixonD · 26/07/2026 11:10

Just go in the shop as you walk by and meet him at the pub. I would never let my husband tell me I can’t go in a shop. Fuck that 😂

hididdlyho · 26/07/2026 11:09

Is he usually this unreasonable about minor things? If my DH wanted to pick something up from a shop I didn't want to go to, I would just go on ahead to the pub and get us a table/go order at the bar and arrange to meet him there. I'm sure most people would be the same and wouldn't feel the need to even mention it until it was happening.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/07/2026 11:09

Normal couples…
’im gonna pop in to shop to pick up a top i want’
then, either
’cool, I’ll wait outside for you’ or
‘cool, I’ll go on ahead and I’ll meet you at the pub then’

getting in a mood about this, unilaterally deciding what another adult can do, going back a different day,..are all absolutely absurd.

SamAylward · 26/07/2026 11:09

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 11:00

He hates shopping ,so anytime I suggest any sort of shops ,he kicks off

FFS man, when DW goes shopping you go down the pub. It's "husbanding 101"!!

(Unless you are in Basingstoke where the pubs are miles from the shops - which is why we shop in Reading!)

StJulian2023 · 26/07/2026 11:09

You don’t need his permission! Go and get it!

AppleKatie · 26/07/2026 11:09

If you don’t have the kind of relationship where you can laugh say ‘don’t be ridiculous it’s ten minutes now or hours another day, don’t worry I’m not asking you to come in unless you want to? Meet you at the pub?’

Then it wouldn’t be the relationship for me. But if you’re happy OP?

havingoneofthosedays · 26/07/2026 11:08

Can you not go to the shop yourself and leave him in the pub? I have a family member like this that makes any event an excuse to go shopping, it’s relentless.

Katigee410 · 26/07/2026 11:06

He is the unreasonable one . You are NOT shopping you are grabbing something as you pass

ofcolitas · 26/07/2026 11:06

inkyspells · 26/07/2026 11:00

He hates shopping ,so anytime I suggest any sort of shops ,he kicks off

Does he kick off when you do the food shopping that he benefits from?

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