Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

Just do an advanced search on her name.

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Can you link them please

Edit typo

Dear god I feel very sorry for you OP.

You are utterly unreasonable to do what he says because he goes into a mood or kicks off

This is abuse. He is abusing you

I suggest you read her previous threads!

Omg another man that sulks at a tiny minor inconvenience to them despite causing you an inconvenience.

I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s been an impatient selfish prick?

Yes i'd have thought he was quite mad tbh and i would have nipped in the shop anyway- if he'd gone ahead without you, well,you knew where he was going didnt you? to just meet there? Sounds like theres more to him than this? Does he have voilent outbursts if you go against him?It seems very unreasonable of him to say that to you if you literally want to collect one item and you pass it anyway.

Go get the top. You dont need to ask him, just tell him. If he goes in a huff "are we really going to let a 10 minute detour ruin our day?" . Couple dynamics can be strange, but you do know this is not ok.

Your mistake I think was to not go and get the top anyway. Why did you accept his demands?
You could have either gone in against his objections and told him to wait outside. Or if he refused, told him to go to the pub, get the order in and by the time he has the drinks you will be there.
If my DH insisted I make a second hr trip to avoid ‘shopping’, I’d tell him if he can’t go ahead to the pub and wait the 5 mins, he might as well go back home now then because he is unreasonable*
*caveat in case you are one of those people who ‘just pops in’ and then 1 hr later I am still standing outside the changing rooms, in which case I still think he should just go straight ahead to the pub

Have a read through all her previous posts… there were huge red flags and she still chose to marry him last month. It will continue and she will continue to just post instead of acting, which is very sad.

My dh hates shopping with a passion but this is something he’d never say. It’s normal to say ok I’ll wait outside while you run

Just go in on the way past and buy it
He sounds like a dick

"now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow"

No, you don't HAVE to go back tomorrow. You CAN go today instead.

I don't understand why you aren't doing. If its because you're married to a controlling knob who won't let you, or at least not without a shit ton of abuse and punishment afterwards, then to really shouldn't be going to a pub with him either. Or anywhere. Ever again.

You either need to grow a backbone, or escape the life you currently have. And from your posts so far I really can't tell yet.

If you are literally walking past the shop syou say hand on a mo while I get the top

if he won’t wait then I would let him carry on on his own and either meet him at wherever you are going, or better yet just get the train back home and leave him on his own

ask him if he is going to pay your train fair to go back and get it another day

On this occasion I think that you should go in and buy it. However I have a retired sister that can't go anywhere and not shop and unless she agrees in advance, or agrees to minimise shopping, we no longer meet up with her. So I can see both sides, you shouldn't have given in.

@inkyspells

So many questions.

Why are you in a relationship with someone who "kicks off" when you make a basic request that makes your life easier and does not require any effort on his part.

Did you ask him to come with you and watch you try the top on or something? Why can't you meet him at the pub a few minutes later and continue your plans , like most normal couples would do. If you need to pop into Boots to buy tampons unexpectedly would he react like this?

Why are you in a relationship with someone who tells you want you can and cannot do with your own money and a very small amount of time? You are picking up a top not asking to go to a retail outlet centre for a whole day.

Why are you in a relationship with a man who thinks it makes economic sense for you to make another journey on another day, at more cost for train fare, when you are literally passing by the place today; going back another day will cost you both money and time?

To balance my questions:

Do you often ask to pop into shops / hijack previously made plans to shop and is he now fed up about this?

Edited to say I have now seen the AS of your previous posts. At this point, you are making these choices.

YABU for being a doormat and planning to do another hours round trip for this top because of him.

Ignore him, go into the shop when you pass it...what's he gonna do physically restrain you?

She posts multiple threads but then doesn’t engage so I’m not sure what she’s looking for.

Just go in the shop! Is he always controlling?

Wow… actually I change my mind after reading all your previous posts.. YABU. He’s a gambler, he’s clearly got a drinking problem, he’s lied to you, financially and emotionally abused you and you STILL married him, all so he could continue the abuse and ruin your honeymoon. You can see the abuse happening and for some reason are just still on this train wreck. It’s different when you can’t see or are unaware of their behaviours, but the fact you know and have raised many concerns but are still accepting it, is wild.

if you choose to stay and to have children with this man, you are being extremely selfish on your future children.

Good grief. You are near the shop, so buy the top. Please DON’T make another unnecessary trip tomorrow! Your husband is being vvvvu!

Get the earlier train, pick up top, meet him for lunch. Or he can travel with you and wait 5 mins while you pop into shop and pick it up.

I would not tolerate being given orders like that. If he "kicked off" I'd say well that's what I'm doing, you can come or not, it's up to you.

Tbf it’s not particularly rare. On mumsnet and in real life there’s always been couples who stay together despite clearly despising each other, having nothing in common, just nitpicking at each other all day and/or sat in stony silence. Complaining about each other constantly ti anyone who has no choice but to listen. Never doing anything about it. I guess there’s comfort in familiarity. It took my mum till 70 and two awful marriages to finally be happy, single and free. It’s really sad.

I have voted that you are being unreasonable.

This is because, if we are to believe you, you were a moron for marrying him and remain a moron now.

So stop hassling your shitty husband and get on with your life. You have eyes and ears, you knew what you were getting into.

I have no doubt you’ll be back this evening after he’s pissed out of his eyeballs, chatting up other women, randomly leaving you in the pub and complaining you sat on your own all afternoon. Just like your honeymoon.

yes, yes, we know. Your choices, your consequences. Grow up.

Just go in and get what you need, if you’re quick it’s not going to ruin his day. I’d just ignore him and do it! Don’t let his attitude ruin your day. Ever!