Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

Unreasonable selfish twat. Why are you putting up with this?

Raise your bar and bin this man child.

Why are you asking? Just go get the top. My husband wouldn't dream of telling me what I can/can't do (and vice versa) and we actively plan our lives to make grabbing things easier. I.e. if I had planned to get the top, husband would have probably suggested going as we walked past to save time and effort.

He's completely unreasonable but also, you're an adult...just go for it. He's in a mood anyway!

I didn't realise it was this one either or I wouldn't have bothered replying.

But I was confused at her calling him her husband in the thread title and 'OH' in the OP.

Yup 😟

So get your top and let him kick off. Hes not the boss of you.

Oh it’s not is it?

🤦‍♀️

He mostly doesn't want to do anything with you on a weekend, so I'm presuming this must be something he wants to do for himself? Your honeymoon was cancelled because he had gambled away the money to pay for it? Yet somehow you still ended up going on honeymoon, where he spent all his time chatting to and drinking with other people, ignoring you, to the extent that he was throwing up, you had to put him to bed, and spent your days alone? He promises to change and carries on with the bad behaviour.

I don't understand why you married him in the first place, but I certainly don't understand why it's ok for him to do whatever he wants but you're considering "obeying" him when he says you can't pop in to a shop you are passing anyway.

If this is all real, the marriage has no prospects of succeeding. You will get more and more miserable, he will get more and more controlling and you will never be able to save up for anything nice as he will gamble away all your money. Whatever you do, make sure your contraception is watertight and do not have children with this awful, awful man. You can do better.

Oh. I remember the OPs previous threads.
@inkyspells why do you continue to post on MN complaining about your husband?
It's starting to seem a little fantastical.

But he doesn't have to go in! He can go ahead while you pop in the shop and by the time he has ordered a couple of drinks for you both you'll have caught up with him.

Who made him top dog? (See what I did there?)

Why on earth would you do a one hour round trip tomorrow again when you can just go into the shop & buy the top? I'm baffled. How much would the train tickets cost you tomorrow to go to the shop you're walking past? What if it's not in stock in your size tomorrow? Sunday is a popular shopping day.
If he has such a major problem with waiting for you whilst you find & buy the top, just say 'why don't you go ahead, get the drinks set up & get a table & I'll see you there?'

OMG! It's the poster with the fiancé - and then newly-wed husband - who got drunk and ignored her on holiday/honeymoon, preferring to socialise with the other hotel guests.

You're going to have to learn to just do whatever it is you want to do, @inkyspells, because he's never going to consider you or give you 'permission'.

Surely you aren't going to be doormat and let him dictate this to you? Go to the shop and get your top - who the fuck does he think he is telling you 'No' like you're a child?? He clearly doesn't give a shit about the inconvenience it will cause you to come back another day - it is completely illogical not to do it when you're already there.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

Yes, YABU to be a bit annoyed.

You should be fuming with yourself for being such a martyr.

All this could've been solved with an eye-roll and you popping in to grab the top.

He could've carried on walking and you could've met him after if he really couldn't wait 10 minutes.

Quite.

There is no chance I would pay any attention to being told I couldn’t shop for it. I’d just tell him I’d meet him wherever you were heading and go and get the top.

I didn’t know how to vote because while your DH is very unreasonable, I think you listening to him and not picking up your top is also very unreasonable!

You should have just said you’re going and you’ll be back in 5.

Much much bigger problems here if you are scared of him.

I’d have got it, and said don’t be ridiculous. Tell you what, you can wait 15 minutes now, or you can do 1.5 hours solid of chores around the house tomorrow since I’ll have to drive all the way back. My time isn’t as worthless as you seem to think, so value it please. What’s your choice? 15 minutes waiting or <whole list of things needed to do at home>

I can and I don’t pay.

Going against the flow here. Both my husband and I hate shopping. My husband more than me. It has been known for it to make him have a migraine!
You are going out together. If the shop is very close to where you are going and you don’t need to try it on and you don’t just want to look at other stuff then ok but otherwise it is not ok. Can’t you get it delivered?
I refuse to go away with a couple we are friends with because her holiday always includes ‘popping in’ to nearly every shop we go past.

I think unless he's literally got you on a lead then you can go wherever you like

Yeah appease the controlling arse of a DH, if he gets upset about her seeing family or friends, then just talk to them on the phone?

Anything else she should do to keep him happy?

This. It is ludicrous to even entertain wasting time and money going back another day when you are going past the shop.

My DH hates shopping too. He would be quite happy to wait outside or go to the pub and get the drinks in.

If your DH goes into a mood just ignore him and reconsider your relationship.

How would that help with the controlling dh?

Is he always such a controlling prick??

Dont ask, tell him.