Aibu to think that life is just you doing what every else wants and never being happy?

I suspect you would be much happier if you separated from your needy partner.

What is your housing situation? I am assuming you have no DC yourself?

You need to speak up and if people get upset that is their problem. My parents are also 2 hours away and I see them once a month/every six weeks depending on work and child commitments. They have never put pressure on me to see them more even though they’d like it (as would I). They know I’m doing what I can, as is my other sibling. You should tell them you are exhausted and will see them say every other week or once a month.
If your brother puts pressure, ignore him, he does not dictate your life. If he wants to see you why doesn’t he drive to you and/or drive your parents once a month? You are the one putting in the leg work.
Your partner sounds an idiot to be honest. He’s a grown up and can go see the football by himself or with friends. He should be looking after you. That’s what a partnership is, you look after each other. If he’s not doing that, you need to think seriously about how you want your life to be.
It may not feel it but you have agency here about how your life can be. It likely feels very hard and impossible for things to change and I would really recommend seeing a therapist to unpack things. On the face of it, it sounds like a pattern of you doing the running and people telling you its not enough. You have to take care of you as no one else. You are not selfish to prioritise yourself.

that sounds like a lot of stress.

Take a break from your partner. Can you stay with your parents for 2 weeks and do nothing?

Tell your parents and brother you are exhausted, maybe explain what you wrote in the OP? Tell your "partner" to shape up or ship out. Or ship him out.

You both live in the house, then you are both responsible for keeping it clean and tidy. If his children spend time there, tough for him but he is responsible for cleaning up after him.

If you can't take a break and go away, take a break and stay where you are. Do the minimum you need to get through the day alive, and that is it. Please yourself with meals, going out, who you see and when you see them.

Point out to your parents and brother that they can visit you too, and that you aren't going up for a while (inside you can think: i am not going up until after they have been to me)

Fuck that for a game of cards.

Decide

1. what makes you happy
2. what makes you unhappy

Do 1 don’t do 2.

if your brother wants to see you he can drive the 2 hours and bring your parents. Your DH is not 3 he can attend a football gave without you cheering on from the sidelines (how embarrassing for him if he needs this as a fully grown adult)

Life would be so much easier if you lived separately to your partner, then you could do what you want. Who owns the property,

None of that is ‘selfish’. You’re not shoving in front in queues, you’re just centring your own needs at times.

I have done the same. That's why I have been married for 30 years.

Me and my DH are quite selfish compared to a lot of other parents we know. We go on holiday without the kids, our lives do not revolve around them, we don’t watch kids shows or listen to kids bop or any of that. I genuinely think it makes us better parents because it means we’re happier. We really changed after our second was born because we realised we were not happy and we were living like roommates. I think putting yourself first helps you to be the best version of yourself - and your kids deserve that. Start being selfish.

Also your partner sounds like a bit of a twat.

You’re in a relatively new relationship so you should be feeling loved up and excited to see each other.

Work out what your boundaries are and stick to them. There is absolutely no reason you have to stay late into the evening at your parents if that doesn’t work.

If you’re working and he’s not then it is unfair for you to be doing a major domestic shift too. He can start by cooking dinner 2-3 nights a week.

Every adult (barring disabilities or infirmity) should be able to prepare proper meals. If he can guilt trip you about “tapping out of family life” (WTF they’re are his kids and you are not married) then you can guilt trip him back about not cooking etc….

And skip his stupid football match, have a strategic headache if you need an excuse….

A two hour drive each way to see parents EVERY WEEK? That is way too much. Agree that they come to see you, or you cut the visits. Explain to your partner that you're knackered and don;t want to watch football. Or look after his kids.

It's OK to put yourself first for once.

Sounds like some boundaries are needed here! My parents live nearly 2 hours away and while I see them a lot during term time as I work up there, during the school holidays less so. We generally meet half way at a garden centre for breakfast or lunch I won’t often do there and back again on the same day as it’s exhausting and I certainly wouldn’t be doing it weekly! Do your parents drive? is meeting half way doable for them? Or you brother drive them as he’s so eager to see you? (interesting to see how eager he will be if he has to do some of the driving!) I also wouldn’t arrange to see a friend on the same weekend as parents as that leaves you will no relaxing time/ family time. Again with friends I will often meet half way or go up for a few days to visit.
My cousin lives 4 hours away and I sadly only see her in person once or twice a year but I and DH sometimes comes too will go up for a long visit. We’ve just got back from 4 days seeing her and we speak on the phone twice a week.
What your currently doing is unsustainable and no wonder you’re getting burnt out!!

You're BU for putting up with this. Your partner should be doing the housework if he's not working. Your parents can be brought to visit you by your brother, if they can't travel themselves? Or tell them your expected visits are too much too often.
You don't need to watch your partner play football if you don't want to.
Stop pandering to them all, who made them the boss of you?
I'd be tempted to book a week off work and go for a cottage holiday on my own. And maybe tell your partner to not be there when you get back.

Your problem is that you're prioritising everyone else's wants before your own needs. You know this. It is unsustainable.

Your parents and brother - learn how to say no. Visit less, invite them to visit you or meet halfway. If they are unhappy, let them be. You are not responsible for making everyone happy.

Your partner - he sounds like a deadweight to be honest. He isn't working yet doesn't keep the house clean or prepare an evening meal while you are at work! He expects you to prioritise his wants and his children over your own needs. What is he bringing to your life exactly? I would seriously consider if this relationship is good or healthy for you or if you would be better off single and able to spend time doing what you want to in your limited free time.

No-one can make the changes needed in your life except you. Ask yourself why you feel anxious about upsetting people who make demands of you without any consideration for your health and wellbeing. You need to put yourself first sometimes. It's not healthy to live your life meeting other's needs and ignoring your own.

I agree that the worst bit is the partner problem - he doesn’t seem to be enhancing your life at all. I would get rid of him first and move to your own tidy and peaceful place, with no one nagging about “family life” when you don’t do their childcare for them.

Also you need better boundaries with your family. I would say not one big speech about how you’ll be different from now on, as no one listens to these things, just be less available when asked. “Ooh no, I’m exhausted this weekend so I won’t be there / I’m not free” etc

Your friends should be more understanding. Can they not travel to you sometimes? Or when you moved could you be a tiny bit nearer to any friends? I say this because I think friends can be important to one’s sanity.

Thinking about the things you would like to do - resting sounds like a high priority but also make time for your own interests. Is there a hobby you’d like to do? If you’re busy doing these sometimes that’s perfectly valid and no one should pressure you otherwise. When you get rid of the nagging partner you’ll like have more time for these anyway!

You need to start advocating for yourself, no one else is going to do this for you. To hell with 'expectations' and 'demands', this is entirely in your hands.

They will get a shock when you start pushing back but they will get used to it.

I would rather have a root canal than go watch a grown man play football and would tell him that. Tell your parents and friend you are exhausted, have pulled a muscle in yuur back, have a migraine, whatever.

Stop expecting other people to put you first.

Apart from the obvious partner problem, you need to get used to displeasing people - its liberating and a superpower when you don't care! This is something a lot of us women discover in our middle age, and that is why we are so much happier in this phase of life. Do what you can when you can, and act with integrity and kindness - beyond that if people don't like it, that is their problem not yours!

Gently OP it sounds as though part of the issue is being a people pleaser - this is absolutely not a criticism, I have been guilty of this in years gone by (as have most women of our generation). When we always prioritise everyone else's needs, we neglect our own and this can lead to resentment whether conscious or subconsciously. The first step is getting comfortable with the discomfort that doing what you want may lead to someone else being dissatisfied. That's on them, not you.
I promise you, it can be a bit bumpy as people adjust to you positively asserting yourself and saying no, but they will get used to it.
I'm not saying never do something for someone else, rather its ok to prioritise your own needs and peace sometimes.

In answer to your question. No I don't feel like this.

Because I am able to say no and put myself first.

Sorry OP but this is a YOU problem. Why are you allowing your parents to dictate how you spend your weekends. Why are you allowing your partner to be a lazy shit and criticise you?
Get a back bone and tell the whole lot of them to sod off. Live a nice quiet life by yourself.
If they don't like it, tough.

If you choose to let them control your life, you need to put up and shut up. Or do something about it.

Sorry if that's harsh. But too many people complain about their demanding family or useless.partners, yet continue to enable their behaviour

So now you know what living with him is like. It won't change. If anything, it will get worse.

End it. Build a better life for yourself which centres YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

This is your one life. You deserve to be happy. In future, don't put up with any relationship that doesn't bring you joy.

Watch him play football - no thanks! You probably would'nt mind watching the odd match if he ever did anything for you. Don't mind his children. They're his, not yours.

Take yourself off in a break & rest.

Tell your parents you're no longer able to visit every week & let them know why.

Bloody hell op. You are not a support human! Your DP needs ditching and I’d advise a bit of counselling to work through your boundaries, it’s ok to say no. Get your life back, preferably live in your own.

Oh yes @Potatoread don’t be looking after his kids. They’re his! Let him get on with it.

If you’re accused of checking out of family life, simply say ‘Yeap, for the time being I am!’ Grab yourself a cuppa and go back to bed.

Step 1: get rid of the awful partner.

You are going to massively burn yourself out if you keep doing this. If I was you I’d ring your parents and have an open and frank conversation and tell them how mentally and physically exhausted you are first of all.
as for your partner. I don’t know, he’s being extremely selfish!! He isn’t working but he isn’t cooking or cleaning? He also expects you to use one of your two days off watching him play football!? He isn’t 7!! whay exactly is he doing to contribute? I take it you are the main bread winner?? He needs to get his finger out of his arse and stop acting like a teenage boy.

have you any annual leave you can take to have a breather??