To find menopause totally destabilising?!

I wanted to add my experience here, but like for everything else in my life right now, I can't be arsed... Basically, that's it, really, zero interest in making any effort outside of work. 🤷‍♀️

Very strange. Am finding friends more flaky Im 53. My neighbour was saying some our age got very introverted. I think I dont take crap now zero tolerance! Maybe all menopause ha

Periods from 14 to 58 here. My daughters are not happy as it seems to go in families. My mum had her last period late 50s too

Like reading my own thoughts back to me tbh. Yes to just being so damn cross all the time, feel like I must be walking around with a permanent scowl.

I am 54, have the mirena coil for the last 18 years, last one fitted last year. I don't have physical symptoms, my last blood test said I had no oestrogen left, so doc reckons my ovaries are shrivelled. so maybe it's over, I don't know, but never in my life had I suffered with anxiety, but I've had a few heart/bp related episodes, multiple tests including 72 hours holter monitoring, stress tests, etc, nothing, so I have had 2 different consultants say I am suffering with anxiety, my gp agrees, so I have to believe them, I guess I do. For the last 4 years, since covid I am nervous driving certain mountainous routes, and flying, never had issues previously, I force myself to do these, but it's not pleasant.
the gp thinks I have health related anxiety, due to having a special needs adult child and worrying about their future if something happens to me.
I'm starting with a psychiatrist, this week, not sure what to expect.
I don't take hrt, as I'm pre-diabetic, so trying to sort out my diet.
my hair is thinning, but that could be explained by life long trichotillomania, maybe psych, can help me with that.
I am a mostly happy person, but do find I'm not myself, I have no motivation for housework or trying to better my career, I'm hoping for brighter things to come. sorry this is so long.

Oh I get you. And everyone else on this thread. I feel like such a horrible person? Im always so cross, I cant be fucked with any of my friends, my job bores me to tears and I want to do something different but Im too tired. Im an arsey bastard 99% of the time.

Also I do not want to have sex and my husband is lovely about it but how sad to be 46 and not even want to hug him?

I had HRT but didn't like it, I definitely need another doctors visit.

Im 46 and half an hour ago.i was driving out of our local asda and a man comes up to car who worked there.Thought my boot was open..no I just didnt pay.This is where my peri brain is now .I

Politely, I'm not sure why you're asking me. Only you know your dynamic with this person and if it's something you wish to continue.

It's really strange & such a change for me. I am not an over thinker & never have been until now x

I can relate to so much of this thread. I went through an early menopause (officially post-menopausal at 40) and it was though my entire self was upended.

I'm lucky that I've stayed in my job because I was utterly floored with what I can only describe as anxiety on steroids. I was physically shaking while logging on at my desk, it was horrendous.

My social circle has become smaller as my tolerance for other people's bullshit is at an all time low (not a bad thing).

I'm lucky that HRT really worked for me and the brain fog is 80% better (not fully) and I no longer have dry eyes or insanely itchy legs. In hot weather, I still get night sweats. During the heatwave, I sleep while spooning an ice pack wrapped in a towel (heaven! Like a reverse hot water bottle)

My tolerance for alcohol has gone down, if I eat at a restaurant and have alcohol and a coffee, I'll get a hot flush. It's annoying, but I can tolerate it.

It seems like it could be quite effective for many, but I won't take the risk. Then again, the doctor tried to prescribe me something that is meant to help with symptoms I don't even have (non-hormonal medication) and it sounds like it can be quite risky in itself. I research anything - medication or supplement - very thoroughly. I don't take anything if I can help it.

Make sure your hrt regime is working for you. I got a mirena to stop periods and patches and have added in progesterone to help with sleep
I also take sertraline as my moods were awful before menopuase do to pmdd and it really helps stabilise me

I could have written your OP. This is EXACTLY how I am feeling. I have so little bandwidth now for things and don’t suffer fools anymore and all I want to do is live somewhere quiet.

I’m 52 currently sitting crying in my car mostly as overwhelmed by decision where to go and what to do with my day . I’ve reared two children alone whilst having a senior professional career and now I’m just irritated and today so itchy and incredibly demotivated I just want to be left alone .

Thank you @zurigo

Yes, me. If your investigations come back negative I recommend vaginal oestrogen, if you aren't already taking it. I think, in my case, I think it was vaginal atrophy and dryness leading to spotting as a result of irritation. When I went on estriol cream it stopped.

Absolutely agree on Black Cohosh, my friend is a liver specialist and thinks it should be banned!
Thats the thing though, many of these supplements are untested and unlicensed

Eeesch, sorry to hear that. What was their explanation? That they didn't care?We've been friends for over 30 years. It's tough, part of me thinks ok if she isn't interested let it go but another part of me sees she's not enjoying anything at all and hopefully it's a phase that she'll come through at some point. It's a real loss to me. Maybe she doesn't care though 😆

I'm allergic to progesterone, so HRT isn't an option for me, since I still have a uterus to protect. Supplements are therefore a good thing to consider, with all the normal precautions you'd give any pharmaceutical or supplement. I refuse to take any supplements with Black Cohosh.

I relate to just about everything on this thread. I'm also 53, on HRT (patches and oral utrogestan), still having periods, which I am completely fed up with. Surely they should have ended by now! Bad sleep exacerbates everything. Hard to get to sleep, bad quality of sleep, then wake at the tiniest noise several times throughout the night. Then being good for nothing most days, whilst having to work and generally function.
I will possibly try upping the HRT dose but the doctor I see for my HRT wants me to have a scan first as I have spotting between periods and the periods are also sometimes delayed. Just waiting for an appointment. Has anybody else had spotting that has had to be investigated?

I always wonder at " not having hrt" but taking all sorts of wierd and wonderful un tested supplements though ( not fish oil and vit D btw) there has been a spate of cases with severe liver damage due to these so I would be cautious .

I can relate to all of this. I’m a bit further on than you and yes, I feel better in some ways now, but I still don’t recognise myself or know what I want any more. I don’t seem to like anything much (apart from adult DC) and find life in general much harder than I used to.

I do go out at night sometimes but really don’t enjoy it all that much - the journey home late at night never seems worth it balanced against the activity.

I’m still working full time and struggling with that, in a parallel universe I could retire at 60 or go down to 2 days and see if my quality of life returned. I’m pretty sure it would, when I’m on annual leave I do feel better and can think of things I want to do.

HRT is definitely helping and I’m not planning on giving it up until I’m forced to!

It’s making me think quite differently about my mum at this age and older, and giving me a possible insight into how she felt.

There are highlights - I find it much easier to speak up when I’m not happy about something but also feel that age has given me the tools to do this more confidently and gracefully.

But I worry about how I might be in 10 years (should I be lucky enough to still be around) and I’m developing a bit of a fear of old age. I think that’s normal at my age though.

Yes, I know. I have Ovestin for GSM symptoms. They are hell. The Ovestin works wonders and keeps me symptom free. Only hormones I'm using though.

No, I started at 11. 53 and still going strong.

Well life expectancy is in the 80s now for women and thats a long time to be miserable if you have symptoms that dont resolve with lifestyle changes

My friend confided in me that she got up 5 times a night to pee, in her culture menopause is a taboo subject so she couldnt discuss it, she?was miserable and exhausted
I advised her to talk to her GP about vaginal oestrogen
She did and her life is transformed
GU Syndrome of the Menopause is horrific and causes UTI , Vaginal atrophy and urinary symptoms in around 65-85% of women
My Gp is of the opinion that all menopausal women should be on topical oestrogens to keep everything healthy
We need to talk about this and no one wins a medal for suffering