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AIBU?

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Original poster

Calling child the wrong name

37 replies

purplepuffa · 26/07/2026 05:37

Would you be offended if someone called your child the wrong name several times in a row?

At my child's birthday party, I called a 6 year old the name of another 6 year old who was there. They look sort of similar, build and hair etc. I did it quite a few times including directly to the child before the mum reminded me of their actual name 😥

They are both kids of friends I know well, so felt terrible and apologised a lot! Obviously I did actually know the child's name - I think I was just in a bit of a weird headspace with all the party planning and hosting!

I've been awake worrying that I've really offended my friend even though she was polite about it.

YABU - I would be very upset if that was my child
YANBU - Not a big deal!

OP posts:
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Namechangefordaughterevasion · 27/07/2026 09:35

My much loved MIL never got DS's name right. It was a name from her country of origin but we used a slightly unusual diminutive. In over 20 years she never got to grips with it. DS wasn't bothered. He loved her regardless.

Kokonimater · 27/07/2026 09:32

Worrying about this is a very Adhd thing.

NotAnotherScarf · 27/07/2026 09:31

My nan had 11 children, so it was a bit of a roll call until she got your name right🤣🤣🤣🤣

Loulou4022 · 27/07/2026 09:28

It happens! I’ve spent all year mixing up 2 brothers in school! The other kids now remind me it R not R and we all have a laugh! Their mum is roughly the same age as me and says she does the same! we look at each other and go ‘perimenopause’ 🙄

dh280125 · 26/07/2026 14:10

We had friends around the other day with two teenagers and I totally called one by the wrong name. She didn’t say anything but I clocked it later. Oops! But whatever.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 26/07/2026 09:39

I'm not great with names, and then when people have kids there is another tier of names to remember also!

Original poster
purplepuffa · 26/07/2026 09:36

dizzydizzydizzy · 26/07/2026 09:00

That’s a well known and studied issue. We are all better at recognizing faces of the types of people we are familiar with when growing up. So anyone who grows up in a multi-ethnic community will be fine with a range of different people. For someone who grows up in a place where almsot everyone is white, they will struggle with recognizing Asian and black people.

Show quote history

I grew up in a place where almost everyone was white and I don't struggle because I make an extra conscious effort in that scenario. I don't think it's an excuse.

I was pretty mortified that this happened - but I would have made damn sure it didn't happen if they were only two Black or Asian kids at the party.

If I got them mixed up in that scenario I think I'd want the ground to swallow me whole.

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 26/07/2026 09:00

wizzywig · 26/07/2026 07:50

Im asian and yeah i do pick up when white people will get the asian/ black kids mixed up as apparently we all look the same. But im assuming this isnt that situation

That’s a well known and studied issue. We are all better at recognizing faces of the types of people we are familiar with when growing up. So anyone who grows up in a multi-ethnic community will be fine with a range of different people. For someone who grows up in a place where almsot everyone is white, they will struggle with recognizing Asian and black people.

Sherararara · 26/07/2026 08:58

Id be more worried about the fact you worried about it so much it kept you awake and then you felt the need to post on MN about it.

Original poster
purplepuffa · 26/07/2026 08:57

Thanks all. The kids do look similar in terms of build and hair colour/ style, but no there wasn't a racial element.

OP posts:
Noshadelamp · 26/07/2026 08:54

Willowbalm · 26/07/2026 07:44

I’ve called my youngest son by my sister’s dog’s name loads of times now 🫣
They’re different sexes and he’s 16 so I should know his name by now 😅

So funny especially that it's not even your own dog!
I used to call my youngest daughter by our dog's name and vice versa! My excuse was they had similar energy 😅

helpfulperson · 26/07/2026 08:54

I often work with groups of children I don't know well. Eg scouts. I always say 'if I call you the wrong name tell me the first time or I'll be calling you that forever'

dizzydizzydizzy · 26/07/2026 08:50

Easily done, especially in a stressful situation such as when you are hosting a party. No reasonable person would take offence.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 26/07/2026 08:07

I am one of six and my dad gets our names mixed up all the time. That’s why we have nick names I think, he knows I’m Bug and my sister is Bobble, but if he has to use our government names he will get us mixed up. It’s okay when it’s my sister but I do get a bit miffed when he calls me one of boys names.

WonderingWanda · 26/07/2026 08:05

I'm a teacher and perimenopausal, I am always getting students names muddled up.

Mymsy · 26/07/2026 08:04

I pressed YABU by mistake and don’t know how to change it.
Worry not. It’s easily done especially when you’re very busy or tired.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 26/07/2026 08:00

I muddle my own kids names (they’re not the same gender) and often call them by the dogs’ names or their dad’s. Totally normal if you are rushed off your feet to do the same to kids at a party. You just laugh and say ‘I barely know my own name right now!’

BeMellowAquaSquid · 26/07/2026 07:57

I call my own kids the wrong names repeatedly this wouldn’t offend me.

didgeridid · 26/07/2026 07:56

Nope, I call my son by our cats nick name and and my cat by our son's name repeatedly 🤣
I get mixed up with 2 pairs of kids at my daughter's school no matter how hard I try. They don't look similar but have similar names - 2 unusual but similar and 2 common names but just similar. I feel triumphant when I do get the names right

cloudtreecarpet · 26/07/2026 07:53

I used to mix up the names of a bunch of blonde haired boys in one my kids' classes who did actually all look pretty much the same. Everyone muddled them up.

Is that offensive?

wizzywig · 26/07/2026 07:50

Im asian and yeah i do pick up when white people will get the asian/ black kids mixed up as apparently we all look the same. But im assuming this isnt that situation

40notouttoday · 26/07/2026 07:48

MassiveOvaryaction · 26/07/2026 06:12

If you got it wrong after you were corrected then I think I might be mildly irritated as the parent (wouldn't hold it against you though), but otherwise no. I get my own mixed up all the time, plus fondly remember Gran going through the names of ddad's siblings (and the cats!) before settling on his name.

Similarly my Nana went through my aunties, female cousins and my DAD before finally landing on my name once - she was only in her 60s at the time 😂
No big deal, just out of situation and you were probably a little stressed!

Willowbalm · 26/07/2026 07:44

I’ve called my youngest son by my sister’s dog’s name loads of times now 🫣
They’re different sexes and he’s 16 so I should know his name by now 😅

LittleGreenDuck · 26/07/2026 07:44

Not a problem at all, unless there was a racial element. If, for example, there were just two black kids at the party and you kept mixing them up, that wouldn’t be great. Otherwise, no issue.

FruityFrog · 26/07/2026 07:41

I'd be offended if the two you mix up are the only black kids.

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