To not tell DP about stepdaughter

In a bikini at the beach or pool and a photo I’d say no it’s not pornography they’re dressing for the activity they’re doing.
A child that is underage doing a photoshoot in a bedroom in a bikini yes that would be indecent photos, child porn. The intent between the two situations is very different

some digi cams do wifi connect.

and once that has been ascertained, big sighs all round and a serious but gentle convo about personal safety. Digital changed EVERYTHING. Digital cameras now do have cloud and wifi connectability and even my old ones save to an SD card which can be plugged into a phone, tablet or laptop. You are right about one thing, its a different world!

@gohomenow I agree that you need to tell her dad.

I also think you need a discussion with him around what it means.
Yes there is a risk of his dd being groomed/coerced etc…
BUT theres never been anything concerning on her phone. Which means it can easily be a teen playing around with a friend. Esp as the photos were on YOUR camera (she wouldn’t have been able to send them!) not her phone.

He needs to understand that coming down on her, esp strongly, might not the best reaction.
A discusdion on the risks of taking those photos (who will see them?), let alone if she then decides to send them, is REALLY needed.
But he needs to be much more gentle than what your sd (and you) thinks he is going to be.

you have to tell her parent. But it’s very strange, you’ve had a troubled relationship and it’s your camera. She’s not going to try and say you took them is she. You need to protect her and yourself here

I think ultimately telling your DP (which you must do, as I think you now acknowledge) will in the long term establish you as a safe adult for your dsd, someone who will protect and do right by her. Even if she kicks off initially. If she is in a dangerous situation, she will thank you for it in the long run. Even if she isn’t, she’ll know you have her back. The words of ‘Mama’ by the Spice Girls randomly come to mind: ‘but now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love’. You’re
not her mum, but you are in a caring role.

and in a normal family, its not the mum role to hide things from the dad. As I have already said, I am a bit surprised that the OP had a baby with a man whose parenting style she SO disapproves of that she is considering keeping a secret from him

Genuine question here

Would it be considered pronography is they were in a bikini instead?

Im assuming the sd is wearing quite plain underwear, not that disimilar to the coverage and look of a bikini. Not a thong and lacy bra.

Because she’s 13 ?

Sorry but you are out of order. You need to tell her dad. If my partner kept info from me about my child and I found out I would end the relationship. You are massively over stepping by trying to deal with this yourself. Safeguarding is everyone's business including fathers of daughters.

OP at 13 I’d be worried that someone is coercing the friend to take these pictures of her and her friends. I’d certainly share with her dad, he needs to raise this with the parents of that child - massive safeguarding issue. I know you’re trying to maintain this girls trust, but listen to all the posters giving you advice from a biological parent’s POV.

Because they are not adults like the women they may be copying. They are underage teens taking inappropriate photos. We don’t know how they were posing either. It’s called child pornography whichever way you look at it, it is wrong. Even if they had innocent intentions to be just like a pop star would you be happy for your child taking photos like that? What if they accidentally got out?

This is a very sensitive but important subject. DSD is 13 ……took your camera without permission (that’s what I understand from the OP) which is an issue in itself. There’s also images of children in their underwear on the camera and that’s far more serious.
You have to speak to her father and include her in the conversation……she might have done this in all innocence but the potential repercussions are huge!
This needs careful, tactful handling and someone needs to speak to the other child’s parents too.
It isn’t a blame game or trouble making, it’s about nurturing youngsters and keeping them safe. Sometimes they do stupid things without thinking.

The friend is a girl OP called her she and they have been friends since reception.

Yes it does. If all they are doing is being two teenage girls together pretending to do what pop stars do every day on stage in front of tens of thousands and on telly in front of millions, how on earth can you tell them they've done something wrong?

I think it really depends on the photos. If it is just best friends taking photos of each other at a sleepover I wouldn't be concerned girls do that all the time and I'm sure my daughter did but you should talk to her about what is appropriate why they took the photos and what they planned to do with them ,. given you are the only mother figure on her life she needs someone to talk to who won't overreact and it sounds as though her dad isn't that person.hebcijld actually do more harm than good.
If the photos were bordering on pornographic then you need to talk to your husband and you both need to talk to her about it in a calm way.

As an aside, we haven't establish whether the friend is male or female but really, that's beside the point

OP, if this is real, you need to arrange to speak to someone with formal Safeguarding training a.s.a.p. Probably better to wait until after you have and be guided when and how and who tells your partner. He is the one with PR.

People have asked too many questions about the photos, whether there was any nudity, etc. That is immaterial because groomers start with the less contentious stuff then progress. Do not delete the photos until at least the Safeguarding expert has seen them. Don't send them over any media.

I won't tell you the horror story my extended family have been going through with a 13 year old boy being groomed and eventually threatened that the perpetrator would tell the Police who would take him into care.

There will be girly giggly things to bond with your partner's daughter about in the future but right at this moment it's you and your partner who must be the team.

Taking photos in underwear with a trusted friend is really not that horrendous. 13 is an age of self discovery, exploration, and she was in a safe space with a friend and using a device that isn't online. Unless OP has missed it out, there is no indication the pics would even be classed any differently than one of DD on the beach in a bikini.
There's no evidence she was under pressure from anyone, has shared or planning to share them, nothing nefarious whatsoever.

Do you not remember people doing this with cameras in our day, posing for Polaroid with friend or setting a timer etc? It didn't go any further than that and whilst it's a different world today, it's also possible that DD in this case wasnt going any further with it either.

Yes I'm inclined to agree

Age appropriate, kids messing about

If this were reported to social work, they'd likely have one chat with the girl about privacy, risks of sharing photos and take no further action

I think that OP should tell Dad, explain that she's dealt eith it, and delete the photos

What more do you need to know other than there’s photos of underage teen girls in their underwear? Does it make it better if they’re holding a hairbrush pretending to be Sabrina Carpenter?

Surely she must have known that you would see the pics at some point as it's your camera and she didn't delete them. How odd.

I do get that you don't want to drive a wedge between you and her by being the 'snitch', but as others have said - it could be serious. The main wise point that jumps out for me from previous posters is that you are now in possession of these photos, and you yourself could be in trouble for it. So you could pitch it to her that you need to mention it to her dad because unfortunately a consequence of doing photos like that is that they can end up in other hands (like your hands now!) and that has implications. Tell her that you understand she won't want her dad to look at them, and that you can suggest he doesn't - you can be her support and fight her corner and be a trusted female for her to hopefully confide in (if she feels more comfortable opening up to you rather than her dad), but it's not appropriate to keep the secret from dad.

Well think about it?

But what if something else happens in future that may seem unrelated but could have a connection back? Would OP tell SD’s dad then? Would she keep back this incident? It’s the start (as in, what OP has found) of the teenage years and all needs to be in the open.

What exactly were the pictures? Was it your SD posing for scantily clad pictures in front of her girl friends, just for fun (and them doing the same) girls just being silly. Or was it actually naked pictures or worse close up pictures of intimate areas, posing for boys or in sexual positions with girls or boys? She's not your daughter her dad is the one who really needs to deal with it, but if it was just silliness you could help her explain it. Are you sure they weren't being groomed into taking pictures by someone online? Do other people have copies or similar pictures taken at the same time? It could be nothing or very serious from the limited information you have given