to think some people on here have no idea what 16-18 year olds are actually like?

I remember those years. DS did not have a strong career direction at 18, so we sent him on a four week basic chef's course, because he liked cooking and was good at it, and we thought a season cheffing and skiing in a chalet, possibly followed by a summer yacht cheffing would give him time. He finished and dropped his CV into a posh foodie boutique hotel. They loved him, taught him everything and more. He was very good and very reliable. His days got longer and longer, and he got thinner and thinner. The level of stress on a 20 year old, who occasionally ran the pass for a top rated hotel during dinner was too much. He went to university the next year to make TV about it.

I’m in the UK and dd16 is working in a restaurant- currently 5-6 days a week due to holidays and busy periods. Tips are good and she is also babysitting on top so is raking it in!

Mine has worked at a funfair and as a lifeguard.

fast food, supermarket, cafe, retail, umpiring, working in customer service roles such as at a bowling alley or play centre.

I have 3 teenagers, DD18, DS16 and DS15. The eldest and youngest are very compliant easy going children, they are easy to parent. My middle child is very different. I suspect he has PDA. He has been stubborn and strong willed since he was 3. He has always tested boundaries. I have to parent my children differently. With the other 2 I can simply ask them to do or not do something and it rarely results in a disagreement but my other child said to me last week during a discussion that his way of dealing with things is to wear me down and break me.
He can be a lovely child but he takes all of my patience to parent him.

Minimizing bad behaviour starts at an early age. A child doesn't wake up at 16 and change from an easy going child to one that's off the rails. That behaviour starts slowly and must be dealt with from the beginning. I think a lot of parents let this behaviour grow unchecked until it becomes completely unmanageable.

There was a thread last week about a mother struggling to get her teenage daughter to study and get off the phone. Posters were telling her to take the phone from the child but she kept saying she couldnt or if she did the child would take it back. That type of passive parenting is detrimental to child who doesnt know whats right for herself.
Parents need to be stronger and parent with better boundaries from an early age and be involved in their children's lives. It wont solve every situation but would improve a lot.

Ime, it is often teens who have experienced trauma (through no fault of their parents, necessarily) who go off the rails.

Neither have I and nor would I, but my brothers both smoke weed. I do know where I could have got drugs when I lived in a house share and someone there started dealing drugs from his bedroom, which was fun (not.)

I used to refuse to go to school (or rather I'd go to school and then skip lessons.) Bullying, mental health issues and undiagnosed autism might have had something to do with that.

Well, quite - but I've seen plenty of posts saying much the same thing! Usually followed by: "It's your fault for putting up with it." This site is completely mad sometimes.

Exactly this, if you saw a post about marital struggles you wouldn’t jump in and say oh really, that’s strange because my husband is amazing, he’s hard working, loyal, great company, does all the household chores and is generally perfect. You just be an absent, neglectful, shit wife.

Lol

And those that have been through it with teens come out as better more empathetic people.

We didn’t face bad behaviour but another teen crisis that came out of nowhere. I am way more sympathetic and understanding of others struggles with teens after experiencing that.

It’s like those parents who think they are great because their baby sleeps 🙄. Some teen bad behaviour is down to parenting but often it really isn’t and is the luck of the draw.

There’s a significant difference - to use the absurd example given up thread of Germany - of coming on a thread and saying I’ve never been to Germany but make sure you don’t drink the tap water and you’ll definitely need a visa.

and coming on a thread about someone who is struggling with depression and saying I’ve never been depressed, in fact I’m really happy, have you tried smiling more and not eating chips, it’s probably your fault.

threads where posters are talking about difficulties with teens are more like the latter. We don’t need sanctimonious “advice” from people who are too busy being smug to realise that much of their own situation is down to luck. Not their superior parenting.

Some personality types are spiky and rebellious as teens but lovely thriving adults. The personality traits that make them difficult to parent as teens and young adults often leads to incredibly successful lives and their swotty peers and siblings fail to thrive. I’ve seen this over and over.

You are barking completely up the wrong tree with your assumptions re the point OP is trying to make!
She does not have 'an issue' with advice being 'unsuitable' but she is calling out those who either have NO experience or knowledge whatsoever regarding the difficult and anti social behaviour of SOME 16-18 year olds, definitely not all! 🙄
These 'know-alls' and possibly naive folk are talking absolute twaddle in that they assume the problems are due to lack of previous control and advice etc when the children were younger or they smugly give suggestions that would only be positive and useful for much younger offspring!! 😡

just out of interest, do you think the same kind of parenting for say, a kid who is Keith Richards versus maybe Cliff Richards?

I found it so smug and irritating but I kept quiet!

Well yes
that’s you
I was referring to another poster’s DD