AIBU to be hurt by my husbands actions even though his son is sick?

Run and don’t look back

I’m so sorry this is happening to you x

I think you are being unreasonable to ask him to stay away from her. They need to put their son first and that is highly likely to involve being together sometimes. He is also right that you can't understand what he is going through like his ex does but that's a shit reason to give for sleeping with her.
I think ending your relationship with him would be the right thing to do. But staying with him and adding conditions that impact his son is not right.

I’ll be honest, I can see how this can happen. However, understanding it doesn’t mean putting up with it. Plus this is an ongoing situation and you can’t really put boundaries in place because his child is really , really sick.

Definitely leave him. Best option for everyone, but especially for you.

I mean, I was ready to say you are unreasonable until I got to “they slept together”.

You leave him. What a prick.

His ex doesn’t drive so my husband has taken on driving her around, doing her shopping and taking her to work.

Why does he need to do her shopping g or drive her to the shops? How did she do her shopping before their son was ill? Why can’t she catch a bus to work or travel to work the same way she did before their son was ill? I completely agree with if she needs to go to the hospital or something that actually involves their son but anything other than that is clearly just an excuse to spend time together.
He cheated on you twice and then basically said it’s your fault because you don’t understand what they’re going through. If you leave him 100% he’ll end up back with her

Jeez his excuse that you don't understand as you don't have children is disgusting. There's no excuse- kick him out and move on with your life. Your mother is being totally unreasonable. Having a sick child does not give you a free pass. You deserve better than this man!

Why would your mum want her daughter to stay in a relationship where she has been cheated on twice?

I cannot imagine my own mum saying that to me.

did you forget to tell people that he slept with his ex wife? You almost dismissed it yourself in your op! Surely that’s the only relevant thing. OF COURSE you leave any relationship where your partner has sex with someone else.

I wouldn’t be asking that he stayed away from her, I’d be looking at the quickest way to divorce him and telling him to stay far away from me. There’s only one selfish person here and it’s him for sleeping with the ex and expecting you not to be upset about it.

Your mum is unreasonable. The correct thing to do would have been for him to no sleep with his ex. Make him leave your joint home straight away and move in with her.

Not once but twice! Why would any mother encourage their daughter to stay with a serial cheater. Staying just now is giving him encouragement to continue.
Your husband has betrayed you but both parents should be ashamed.

Your mum is taking the path of least resistance because she doesn’t want to rock the boat, there’s a difference between doing what causes less of a scene and doing what’s right. You are worth far more than this and if you give anyone the message that they can betray you this badly and you’ll just roll over and accept it, they will never respect you and will treat you even worse in future. If he can do it with his ex and cynically use his son’s cancer to justify it, then he is capable of doing it with anyone. I know nobody wants to see their marriage fail, but you didn’t blow this apart. They did. You can still have a sick child and not shag your exes.

His hearts not with you OP. No one should judge you if you can't move past his infidelity.

Of course it’s unreasonable to insist that two parents of a very sick child cannot see each other. The person he should not be around is you, because you should leave him! He said that only she understands his pain? So using his sick child as an excuse for sleeping with another woman. Nice.

Get yourself some therapy after you've left him.

Absolutely your marriage is over.
He's a cheater.
The details are irrelevant to the fact.

Definitely do not waste your future on him.
It really is over.

I'm so sorry.

My child had cancer. Never did it occur to me to have sex with my ex husband as a comfort (we are both remarried).

He cannot stop supporting her and his child during this time but you also don’t need to take that as a reason to forgive him.

Your dm should support your decision, not try to sway you to her pov.

Exactly this.

Dump his cheating arse. Using a sick child as excuse for infidelity is particularly despicable.

You're hurt?
I'd be more than hurt.
He's a cheat who happens to be going through a tough time.
Usjng his sick dc as an excuse to sleep with his ex is disgusting.

Your husband has cheated on you less than a year into your marriage.

you cannot trust him.

leave him.

You are basically the ow.
Ltb.

You can’t stop contact given the circumstances.

But you can - and should - walk away from the relationship.

You need to leave them to it. He's cheated on you. Their child is very sick. Of course you cant ask him to stay away from her. You sre being selfish

Edit: By leave them to it I mean you need to leave the relationship, not let him carry on cheating and put up with it