AIBU to be hurt by my husbands actions even though his son is sick?

@boredsoscrollingonMNagain

However, I think if the post was “ my son has leukaemia and could die and in the midst of my grief I cheated on my husband and slept with my sons dad “ the replies would be a lot more sympathetic

Oh no they wouldn't. They might be sympathetic to the fact that she has a very ill child, just as many of these posts have had sympathy for the father having a son with leukaemia. But no sympathy at all for either him or a mythical female poster using it as an excuse to get into bed.

OP the fact that he's admitted to twice probably means it's more. When people are caught out they minimise things down to a level they hope can be forgiven/excused. You want to leave so leave. Don't let anyone, our mother included, tell you you're selfish for wanting to split with a husband who thinks OK to shag his ex while he's married to you. And his 'you don't understand' tells me that he does think that makes it OK.

Exactly this.

They are going to have to continue co-parenting a very sick child, they are going to have to have ongoing and frequent contact. You can’t try to stop that, even though I understand why you would want to have this as a condition for staying with him- it’s simply unrealistic.

I can sort if see how this might occur- heightened emotions, comforting each other etc- but it wasn’t inevitable and his actions were still a series of choices he made. He chose to betray your trust, he needs to own it. I think his reasoning that you can’t understand is nonsense, just an excuse.

But equally, you don’t have to put up with being cheated on. Only you can decide whether it’s a deal-breaker for you (I think it would be for me) or if you want to work on your relationship with the knowledge he will have ongoing, close contact.

This is going to be a very long and emotional journey for him and his ex wife. I don’t think I would stick around for it knowing he has cheated on you with her, it shows that they aren’t two people co parenting, they are more deeply entwined than that. They will need each other during this period and they have shown they are not purely platonic friends who some time ago used to be in a relationship. Their child needs them. It’s a total mess for you. Sorry OP I would definitely be walking away. And with your head held high as you supported him and her by giving them time and space and they did that to you. It’s time to walk away.

This

End this. He’s making an idiot out of you, and you’re better than that.

he needs to focus on his son anyway

Please leave him. You’ll regret it later if you don’t. You’ll find someone that deserves you. Your mum isn’t the one living your situation

Your mum is an idiot. Your husband is revolting. His ex is shameless. You deserve so very very much better. Please divorce him, get it going this week.

He’s cheated so for me it would be over. But you you can’t surely expect them to keep away from each other while their son is going through this so YABU. They’re son will always come first. Walk away he obviously still has feelings for her.

I think your marriage is over as he definitely still has feelings for her. I would ask for a divorce before you have children together. If you have a child then it becomes much more messy and you will never be able to completely sever ties. LEAVE HIM

Revolting man
Leave him. Let his ex have him if she is that special. You deserve better

I was about to say you were being unreasonable until you said they slept together.
Leave now and begin again.

Okay so i started reading thinking you were going to be the AH. Than i finished it and seriously...WTF. Two things...you need to leave him a sick child is not an excuse to shag your ex, and your family thinking your selfish is messed up

You are only 29. Put this one down to experience and do not give this man any more of your time. He is in turmoil over his child but nothing excuses his actions. Are you able to be financially independent, so you don't have to go back to mum?

Leave. Its a terrible situation for them but he cheated on you. You're young lots of time to find someone else if that's what you want

What a cunt. Leave him and be happy

What planet is your mother on!!

Totally agree. Yes, his son is ill, and he says he's only done it twice with her. Once a cheat, all trust is gone, and your marriage will never be the same again.

Agree with others that it’s over.

terribly sad for them with their son but he shouldn’t have cheated and it’s no excuse. They won’t be able to be apart due to their son’s needs.

Having a sick child doesn't give you a free pass to cheat whenever you feel like it. He actively made a decision to have sex with his ex and is using his son to excuse it like it is no big deal and you're selfish for being upset. He can't cut contact with her. Hard to say if his support is too much (ignoring the sex) but he is unwilling to do anythjng about boundaries.

How awful of him to use his son’s illness as an excuse for cheating repeatedly. Dump and run now.

If that post also used their sick child as an excuse for cheating, I'd also say it was disgusting.

You Mum should be telling you not to settle for a cheater. It's your life and your self respect

It is terrible that his son has been diagnosed with such an awful illness. The driving her to the hospital (and presumably being at the hospital for long periods himself) are not unreasonable of him.

However, he has cheated on you. Twice. With his ex wife. That surely means the marriage is over?

It is not wrong or selfish of you at all to leave such a marriage.

Wow. Using these awful circumstances to defend his cheating on you. Twice.

Tell him to get to fuck.

Just get out of there; you deserve better.

This