Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

Hence why there’s a male loneliness epidemic and statistically women are a far happier single and men are happier when married and have a maid and a sex slave on top. Men can’t and won’t be respectful and women do not need to put up with it anymore. It’s really that simple.

Why are women ruining their own peace and sanity over “men” like this? I don’t understand… the fact this has apparently happened more than once is very disturbing. As this is a parenting app, I am assuming you have children. I really hope they are not in the home when he is doing this….

Dump him . He’s vile and will only get worse

Sorry should have said, this one’s in answer to the post by the delightful Johnson85.

Makes me wonder if some people don't realise that not all sofas can even be washed. Many don't have removable covers and the fabric would get a water stain or faded patch on it if you tried to sponge it down. Spilling something on a sofa would, in a lot of cases, totally ruin the sofa leaving a permanent stain, even if you got the original mess out. Sofas are expensive so it's not something-and-nothing for one to be ruined. Even if the sofa is cheap, that usually means it's owned by someone who doesn't earn much, so proportionally it's the same. I kinda wanna do a survey now of who happily has a wankstained sofa in their living room and then break it down into a proportion of single men and single women and couples, then break it down into people whose homes are filthy versus those whose are basically clean.

Men who think this kind of thing is no big deal are also probably not the ones left to clear it up. I'll bet they wouldn't find it so "it's ok, shrug" if it was their girlfriend's piss they were having to mop off their own sofa for example, especially if she'd done it just because she could, or if it was their mates jizz after he stayed over and DGAF about their furniture or clearing up after himself.

The biggest problem is being happy to make someone else's life harder (whatever form that takes) and just not caring about that. She Divorced Me Because I Left A Glass Beside The Sink should be compulsory reading for all young people before they start dating.

Hmm, I think the writer of this thread mentioned a year long trend of this behaviour. You don’t need to actively state what you believe women are entitled to, however your view that this is ok illustrates what that is. I do relax, happily, on my own clean sofa, in my nice quiet house, after a full night’s sleep. Yep, I’m, happily single, and if this is, as you say what men are like, I’ll be staying that way.

Err unreasonable , no. Absolutely settling for a waster....yes!!! Get rid ..dont let him come round to you for sex after hes got pissed..uurghh

where to start with this one?? Whats your thoughts now op? One more chance or blocked and deleted?

i was with a guy like this. Except silly me i bought a house, had kids and got married thinking - he will change. He wont / he didnt. I also had friends who excused his drinking behaviour including his parents! Every time i tried to ask for some kind of help, this is not right etc, i just got well thats who he is. He likes a drink. Hes always been a big drinker. Its what men do. Hes worked all week, hes allowed to go to the pub etc etc. all minimising the issue. Mumsnet opened my eyes to this and i realised i wasnt going mad! Im one year now divorced. Dont make my mistakes! Hes a piss head by the sounds of it. Ew wa nking all over your sofa? Thats truely disgusting. Your sofa will smell spunky for the next few weeks 😂

I said nothing about what women are or aren't entitled to. Your boundaries sound totally reasonable, and like I said if you state thisllese boundaries and the man in your life ignores them you'd have every right to feel aggrieved.

But that's different to a drunk guy having a wank on a sofa and being too drunk to clean up, once. In that case, maybe relax a little, communicate like an adult and express your disappointment and say you expect better in future. People calling for a breakup and saying he is 'vile' and the like are over reacting to a single rather grotty indiscretion. Each to their own I suppose, but I also suppose that most of the women stating opinions like that would be single of they really knew what men are like...

JFC what have I read!

Up to you whether you continue to see him after this, but no way I’d be sharing a living space ever with him, ever. If he treats your house like it, imagine what he’d do to a house you both own!
It’s vile, it’s not funny or silly or forgetful, it’s rank.

Interesting comment by Johnson85. To me anything below respect for me or my property is a definite deal breaker. Pee, poop, or ejaculation on my sofa after regular nights out isn’t respect it’s showing exactly how he sees her. I don’t believe we’re aggressive in not accepting that kind of behaviour, just showing a bit of self respect. Sorry it that’s something Johnson doesn’t feel women are entitled to.

Urgh he’s vile and it sounds like he’s tried to passive aggressively blame you for needing to have a wank on your sofa and make a mess. Please get rid OP.

Hope you got your key back!

I'm a woman whose been married twice. Guess which husband was the vile drunk?

If you think you're husband hasn't had a wank somewhere innapropriate or not cleaned up properly, ever, then you probably just don't know him as well as you think.

Which is fine. No need to know every minor detail about your partner's masturbation habits. And without knowing him myself of course there is a small chance you are correct. But generally speaking all the women here posting how disgusting this man is may very well be shocked at how their own man has behaved. Coming on a sofa is simply not shocking behaviour unless the shocked person is simply naive. It isn't good behaviour, not condoning it and most men would be embarrassed afterwards (as it sounds like OPs bf is), but it's just true that most men who drink have also likely made a mess somewhere awkward.

OP should tell him she doesn't like the behaviour, that bf shouldn't do it again, that she finds it disrespectful. If he KEEPS doing it then that would warrant the vitriol he is getting here. A one off drunken mistake is just that - no one got hurt, nothing serious happened, it's a spill of some bodily fluids somewhere that they wouldn't ideally be spilled (or should at least be cleaned up afterwards).

Get rid of him. This will get worse.

Hi, hope as of right now you’re single and loving it.

Because that guy sounds utterly disgusting.

Eww he’s fucking gross op what does he think you are sorting him out if he’s going do it you don’t do it on someone else’s sofa. He’s definitely not a keeper. No apology would be acceptable if he can’t handle his drink he should have gone home to his own bed or sofa. Disgusting little creature.

Do you go out Fridays. If not I'd start, preferably minus him. He needs to be sent away with a flea in his ear. As it sounds like his drunken returns are a guaranteed ick if hes behaving like that. No one wants to try to 'sort out' someone too drunk to sort you in the process. We all know the drink can make people more needy. But this getting the hump and messing on sofa is not acceptable as a protest for perceived rejection. Let him just go when he wakes, don't offer breakfast or anything to appease him. He'll be upset, if he is tell him to go straight away. Some people cannot grow up@

Well I can say that my DH hasn’t ever behaved like this. Just because some men behave like this doesn’t mean that all do and it definitely doesn’t mean that the OP has to put up with the shitty behaviour of a man with a problem with alcohol.

I think you need to end this relationship, get the key back. You are worth more than him.

I think I'd have thrown his clothes out the front door and have ejected him from the house. My only doubt would be whether I would have been wielding a rolling pin or a carving fork to encourage his departure. And he certainly wouldn't be keeping my key.

Just dump him quick. Lack of respect like this will only get worse.

I agree that I find how the request for sex was handled far worse and is far more serious than what he did afterwards. I'm not a woman but can certainly see it was totally inappropriate and shows bad things about his character if it happened as the OP described. I've never spoken to my wife or ex gfs like that no matter how drunk I was. Not even close tbh.

But being drunk and horny and relieving yourself in the absence of a woman just seems totally normal to me though. Yes he should have cleaned up, but he was wasted and people don't think about tidying up when they're wasted. Not ideal but I can say with near 100% certainty that the very nice husbands and boyfriends of most of the aggressive 'dump him' commentators here have done very very similar things. Often, in many cases. Don't think the ladies here know or understand their men very much tbh. Quite eye opening to see the reactions in this thread.

I bet he's bloody grovelling, he knows he's fucked it.