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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
MJagain · 26/07/2026 09:22

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

Just imagine getting up to that sight with a toddler wanting CBeebies at 6am

You would quite rightly hate him.

TooHotToBoogie · 26/07/2026 09:16

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

He's not coming home tho is he? He doesn't live at yours. Send him packing

MostlyChickpeas · 26/07/2026 09:05

Jizz or piss, that man would never cross my threshold again.

motherhoodisntfortheweak · 26/07/2026 08:14

Raise your bar honestly he doesn’t even live with you kick him out for good

Clemmie92 · 26/07/2026 08:07

LateLifeReturnee · 26/07/2026 07:43

Memory blackout.

He has a drinking problem. Doesn't matter if it's once a month, he's 31, he should be over this carryon.

He needs to go off and grow up, address his drinking, and you don't need to wait around.

You are worth more than this clown.

Drugs are most likely in the mix.

Clemmie92 · 26/07/2026 08:06

RunningJo · 25/07/2026 20:04

@Johnson85 but having wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me.

Really?, he doesn’t live there, it’s not his sofa to mess up.

Edited to add that I can’t believe that anyone would think OP’s partners behaviour is not that serious - what a time to be alive. Ffs 🙄

Edited

Johnson85 is a guy, hence why he doesn’t care and believes it ok to jizz over peoples property and a woman should clean it up. It’s interesting we cannot even have a forum called “mumsnet” without an undermining guy..

No woman with healthy boundaries would ever think this is ok.

KmcK87 · 26/07/2026 07:50

Why are you allowing yourself to be treated like this op? It’s not normal behaviour at all.

SassyJadeCat · 26/07/2026 07:50

Yuck. So not only did he wake you up and expect you to service him like you're a piece of meat rather than a person, but when you refused he jizzed on your sofa to punish you for it. This man is a piece of crap who doesn't actually like or respect you. Break up with him.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 26/07/2026 07:48

Once off maybe fine

but regularly - gross

hed be gone

LateLifeReturnee · 26/07/2026 07:43

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

Memory blackout.

He has a drinking problem. Doesn't matter if it's once a month, he's 31, he should be over this carryon.

He needs to go off and grow up, address his drinking, and you don't need to wait around.

You are worth more than this clown.

Cyclebabble · 26/07/2026 06:51

Bicarbonate of soda will get rid of the stain IME. As per others, do not put up with this. It is not funny, it is gross. Did he at any point in the morning think about his mess or ever offer to clear up? No? That would tell me a lot.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 26/07/2026 06:12

In case you need to hear it from another woman.

Throw this clown back and dont listen to any of the noise he is making around this.

The fact he is willing to behave THIS poorly and he hasn't even "locked it in" via cohabitibg and / or marriage and / or children is telling.

Expect this to decline further. This is sichca gross disrespectful thing to do.
He does not respect you.

A relationship without respect is no relationship at all.

I really hope you break up with him.
This situation won't improve.

nam3c4ang3 · 26/07/2026 05:44

Jesus fucking Christ why is your bar so low?! Dump this gross piece of shit.

Horses7 · 26/07/2026 05:26

Dump and don’t look back!

lemmein · 26/07/2026 01:47

If my pissed up DH woke me up at 1am for a BJ he’d be lucky to survive the night.

I’m not even gonna address the other thing - just vile.

pinkyredrose · 26/07/2026 01:21

YellowElephant5 · 25/07/2026 23:42

Are you a mum? Why is this on mumsnet?

Wtf?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 26/07/2026 01:17

Yikes.

emily hampshire shut up GIF by CBC
Anonyanonay · 26/07/2026 00:29

Honestly one of the most repulsive things I've ever read. He's not a fucking cow that needs milking. Ugh.

Sereine · 25/07/2026 23:56

YellowElephant5 · 25/07/2026 23:42

Are you a mum? Why is this on mumsnet?

There is no rule preventing people who are not mothers from joining or posting on MN.

AltitudeCheck · 25/07/2026 23:53

How many months/ years have you been wasted with this man?

He sounds awful. Trust me, they don't get better, stay with him and this is what you'll deal with on a semi regular basis and it will likely get worse.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/07/2026 23:43

lulujuju · 25/07/2026 08:15

No of course you’re not overreacting! I would throw him out permanently!

He needs to buy you a new sofa and you need to tell him to get lost
how pathetic
why on earth are you thinking this is ok????

people have some low standards tonight on mumsnet - come on fellow women - raise your standards and don’t settle for this nonsense

YellowElephant5 · 25/07/2026 23:42

Are you a mum? Why is this on mumsnet?

Fruitbatdancer · 25/07/2026 23:41

LTB. Immediately.

JustSawJohnny · 25/07/2026 23:29

WearyAuldWumman · 25/07/2026 22:59

If you've read the thread properly, the OP's erstwhile partner hasn't simply made 'a single drunken mistake'.

Even the thread title makes it clear this is a regular occurnece!

JustSawJohnny · 25/07/2026 23:28

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

Really hope you stuck to this, OP.

You are not his Mother so you don't need to put up with his manchild antics.

I cannot imagine a bigger ick.

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