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AIBU?

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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
chedderland · 26/07/2026 13:37

I’m sure he’ll never jizz on your sofa again

tiptoptoemaytoe · 26/07/2026 13:37

Urgh. What a wanker (literally)

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/07/2026 13:36

A roast definitely makes up for jizzing on your sofa.

Definitely.

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 26/07/2026 13:31

Even my late teen DD said this was vile behaviour and she wouldn’t stand for it

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:30

God, why haven’t you dumped this disgusting arsehole?

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 26/07/2026 13:20

FFS, why are your standards so low that you would even consider staying with him after this? How do you not have the complete ick? I would put money on him not changing, but he might just wait until you’re living together with a child or two thrown into the mix 🙄.

We’ve all had a few too many at times and embarrassed ourselves, but this is a repeat thing (at least the getting wasted once a month is); is that really what you want for yourself?

Over40Overdating · 26/07/2026 13:15

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

There are many men you could be in a relationship with, without needing the riot act, ultimatums, or educating on how to behave like a grown man instead of a pig with no decency. He left you to scrub his semen off your sofa whilst he grovelled.

The next time he does this - and he will - expect the resentment he feels at you holding him to account to come out as well as even worse behaviour.

PetulaGordeno · 26/07/2026 13:10

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

So you are staying with him? At 31 do you think you could build a future with him?
I have no idea why you would want to.
If you want to meet someone to build a life with, even if he now goes home when blackout drunk, you know he’s not going to change that?
And that is your future.

DaisyChain505 · 26/07/2026 13:07

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

Well I’d start that now then @Heatwavefry

someone doesn’t act like this and then suddenly wake up one day and stop. If he actually loved and respected you he wouldn’t be doing it in the first place to be needed to be told to stop.

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 26/07/2026 13:03

Ffs get rid! My partner lives an hour away in the arse-end of nowhere so loves staying at mine but he’s so respectful when he does!

DaisyChain505 · 26/07/2026 13:00

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 12:44

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

This is who he is and he won’t be changing and if he does it will be for a small amount of time until it happens again. It may be once every few months and you’ll tell yourself that you’ll just accept that it happens because the rest of the time you’re good.

Don’t settle.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 26/07/2026 12:56

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 12:44

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

Sometimes you just think ‘why do I need to ‘read him the riot act’, why isn’t he grown up enough to realise by himself?’.

Don't get into the trap of mummying him and ‘telling him off’ like he’s a wayward teenager but it’s okay because he’ll grow out of his teenage phase. He’s not a teenager, this is him all grown up.

Shadesofscarlett · 26/07/2026 12:51

I wonder why you did not dump him on the spot. I know you deserve better than this sad excuse of a drunk.

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 12:44

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 26/07/2026 12:35

MrsBlobby64 · 26/07/2026 09:31

Sounds like a right catch.. 🙄

Absolutely! A Prince amongst men 👑

his appendage must surely be solid gold and encrusted with precious jewels,

RandomUserName96 · 26/07/2026 10:50

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 11:02

It’s not urine. I’ve just about managed to clean the sofa - he had a half arsed attempt first.

So he came back to yours, wasted, expecting to use you as nothing more than a hole to get off into. And because you declined, he had a wank on your sofa. Is that right?

Definitely stick to your guns. And if you decide you want to stay in this relationship, make sure some ground rules are set and he calms this monthly event right down and DEFINITELY doesn't come to yours after

DanaScullysLegoHair · 26/07/2026 10:37

That is what I was just wondering. It has gone all quiet. Please don't say you gave in and let him stay and carried on as if all was normal?

BusyMum47 · 26/07/2026 10:31

@Heatwavefry
So what happened? Did he leave or did you cave?

MuminMama · 26/07/2026 09:58

Don’t live with this man. Get rid.

madaboutpurple · 26/07/2026 09:52

I would tell him he has to replace the sofa ,give you his key ,pay for locks to be changed and then leave for good. You deserve a man who doesn't need to drink to enjoy himself and you deserve a decent and loyal man in your life. If you move in together could you imagine what he would be like. He needs to go to AA meetings. He can't handle alcohol. If you stay with him he will keep disrespecting your place. Throw him back OP and give yourself the chance to meet someone who is a truly loving person.

NeatJoker · 26/07/2026 09:39

Get your key back. You don’t need to decide today what you will do but take back the key.

SezFrankly · 26/07/2026 09:37

Oh Jesus no. Deeply deeply Disrespectful to come to your house pissed, to wake you up and make noise, to ”expect” to be serviced like some unpaid prostitute and then the cherry on top to make your sofa some kind of teenage boy sock.

I am nearly vomiting reading your post. You are nothing to him, except a useful location and sex. He is using you. Sorry OP.

Say goodbye to this absolute (and literal) wanker. If he’s likely to become aggressive avoid further confrontation but get the key from him (while asleep?), ask him to leave (or wait until he’s left) and then let him know it’s over.

NEVER GIVE ANYONE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISRESPECT YOU AGAIN.

MrsBlobby64 · 26/07/2026 09:31

Sounds like a right catch.. 🙄

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