Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Horses7 · 26/07/2026 14:38

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

This £15 Sunday roast is obviously just to appease you…. until the next time it happens - you’ve set a very low bar.
Has he also booked a professional deep clean of your sofa?
You really don’t need a man like this in your life do you?

DaisyChain505 · 26/07/2026 14:37

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

And this is how the cycle will go. He acts like a pig, you get mad, he does something as simple as taking you out for lunch to butter you up, all is forgiven. He acts like a good boy for a few weeks and it all begins again.

MsIceSandwich · 26/07/2026 14:33

Im sure every time you look at the jizz stain on your sofa it'll remind you of the lovely roast you had #makingmemories.

Urgentbiscuitrequired · 26/07/2026 14:28

At least make him clean it up before you kick him out.

ThatCyanCat · 26/07/2026 14:22

VickyEadie · 26/07/2026 13:52

I only wish I'd put money on the outcome...

Perhaps OP can find some change down the back of the... never mind.

lobwedge · 26/07/2026 14:20

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

You're pathetic. Grow a spine and dump him.

Namechangewegovyjune26 · 26/07/2026 14:15

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/07/2026 13:36

A roast definitely makes up for jizzing on your sofa.

Definitely.

🤣🤣🤣

pikkumyy77 · 26/07/2026 14:11

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 12:44

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

Don’t be ridiculous! Never give a black out drunken user a second chance. Look up cycles of abuse and just substitute gets drunk/paws me for sex/ vomits etc…for the word abuse. Cycle starts with “everything is fine” then “tension builds” then “incident/blow up” then “collapse/apologies” then honeymoon period then the cycle starts again.

Planesmistakenforstars · 26/07/2026 14:10

What is it a roast dinner makes amends for? Him getting blackout drunk? Him wanting you to service him like you're an appliance? Him treating your home like a flop house? You cleaning up his sperm from your sofa because he couldn't be arsed?

You say you'll leave the next time it happens. But what if that's when you've bought a house together, have paid for a wedding or are pregnant? Don't wait for that.

Planesmistakenforstars · 26/07/2026 14:10

What is it a roast dinner makes amends for? Him getting blackout drunk? Him wanting you to service him like you're an appliance? Him treating your home like a flop house? You cleaning up his dlerm from your sofa because he couldn't be arsed?

You say you'll leave the next time it happens. But what if that's when you've bought a house together, have paid for a wedding or are pregnant? Don't wait for that.

Whowhenwhat · 26/07/2026 14:03

peachie82 · 26/07/2026 13:45

The mere sight of him would make me feel sick, there’s no chance I could sit and eat a meal with him. Honestly there are decent men out there, don’t settle for a drunken, sex pest wanker.

Absolutely this. it turns my stomach what he did, you had to clean his 'mess' up, how could you sit and eat a meal with him. Urgh

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 26/07/2026 14:00

Oh your favourite country pub. As a treat. Outstanding.

Hands up those whose partners book their favourite country pub as a treat, not for being a horrible man, but simply because they like their partner?

(not me, I’m single, but that’s not the point 🤣)

Anyway, enjoy your carrots.

ilovemybluesharpie · 26/07/2026 13:54

He needs to go home after a night out, not stay at yours just because its closer to the pub. You don't live together, you don't need to put up with this behaviour.

Think seriously about ever moving in with him

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 26/07/2026 13:53

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

VickyEadie · 26/07/2026 13:52

I only wish I'd put money on the outcome...

justthecat · 26/07/2026 13:51

Have you even taken your key back ?

peachie82 · 26/07/2026 13:45

The mere sight of him would make me feel sick, there’s no chance I could sit and eat a meal with him. Honestly there are decent men out there, don’t settle for a drunken, sex pest wanker.

grumpygrape · 26/07/2026 13:45

Sigh, I'm getting deja vu here.

Omgblueskys · 26/07/2026 13:43

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

Wow op, he turned up drunk, wanted you to relieve him, of course you didn't but he did anyway over your sofa, so now your going to eat a meal with him, just how op,

Basically he can treat you and your home with no respect what's so ever, but hay he's buying you Sunday lunch,

No change here then he can fo has he's likes ,
No boundaries op,

Whowhenwhat · 26/07/2026 13:41

You're standards are non existent.

He should buy you a new sofa not just a roast lunch.

Once he's done that, dump him.

BusyMum47 · 26/07/2026 13:40

Ugh. I’d have the raging ‘ick’ & no amount of roast dinners on the planet could make it go away!! He’d be gone.

ThatCyanCat · 26/07/2026 13:39

You say he's been coming back hammered regularly for a year. What makes you think it's going to change this time? What makes him think your response to it will change?

A pub roast is an easy performative action that changes nothing. Is he actually going to change his behaviour?

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:39

Glittertwins · 26/07/2026 13:31

Even my late teen DD said this was vile behaviour and she wouldn’t stand for it

Good for her for knowing her worth and having standards!

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:38

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

You are a mug. You need to raise your standards.

chedderland · 26/07/2026 13:38

PrayForPlagues · 26/07/2026 13:30

God, why haven’t you dumped this disgusting arsehole?

Some people really are desperate not to be alone.

Swipe left for the next trending thread